Treant, in its tree spirit form, crouched down with its wings over its head. It must have been hit with a wave of vaporized alcohol…or perhaps it was closer to poison. This was no typical alcohol, after all.
“Throw it out. It’s making me sick,” Atlach-Nacha said, holding her stomach.
The black lizard, on the other hand, stared at the Monkey Wine Soma with wide, shining eyes. As a poison user, it was no stranger to ingesting poisonous ingredients. This wine probably looked like a tasty treat.
‹Well…why don’t we sample some, at least?› I suggested. ‹It’s really old and valuable. I’d feel bad throwing it away without trying it, and it’s not like I’m not curious.›
“I am not averse to an occasional drink myself,” said Volk. “But I think I’ll dilute mine down with a bit of water. It would be nothing but poison to me at that concentration.”
I brought the cups Allo had made with Clay out of the cave and used Human Transformation. In my dragon form, I’d gulp down the entire thing in seconds, and I wanted to drink it slowly.
I filled my cup, then brought it close to my face and gave it a whiff. My nose wrinkled at the powerful scent of alcohol mixed with a rich sweet and sour aroma. It smelled like a bunch of fruit that had been boiled and then left to rot. I felt the alcohol pass through my nose and hit my brain. Instantly, my vision went a little blurry.
“O-ohh…” It didn’t smell disgusting per se, but the scent had me a little hesitant to take a sip. The description said it could be poisonous, but I was sure I’d be fine…right? Wait, was it safe for me to drink it in human form, even though my defense was cut in half?
“Kssh! Kssshhii!” The black lizard stuck its head in the vat of alcohol, wagging its tail and fluttering its wings happily. Somehow, its body seemed like it looked a little shinier than it usually did. Well, as long as the black lizard was happy, I was happy.
Although…at the same time, the happier it seemed, the more I was reminded that the stuff was poison.
“Haah… Haah… Haah…” Volk sat on a large stone nearby, breathing hard and holding his head. Even though he’d watered it down, the drink seemed to still be a little too much for him.
“Don’t overdo it, Volk,” I called. “We don’t want this still affecting you tomorrow.”
Volk glanced at me, then did a double take. “Illusia… Have you always been that color?”
“Uh, yeah? Are you sure you’re okay?!” I asked, suddenly concerned Volk was hallucinating. “Volk…you should probably call it quits there.”
“I know. I am no fool, Illusia.” Volk turned to Treant with a huff. Treant’s head tilted in confusion, and it gestured at itself with its wings as if to say “Who, me?”
Oh boy. Nope, Volk’s definitely getting a little foolish over there.
Well…it definitely wouldn’t kill me, at least. I steeled my nerves, then chugged my cup of Monkey Wine Soma.
The moment the drink touched my lips, a flood of rich, tangy flavor flowed through my mouth and into my nose, then to my entire body. A shock reverberated through my mind, and my vision went hazy.
O-oh. This stuff…is dangerous. No wonder a shot was enough to take Volk out. This should be banned from anyone who wasn’t immune to poison like Black Lizard.
Suddenly, I spotted Treant lying on its side a few meters away. Oh, Treant… I guess it’s too late. Curiosity got the better of you too, huh?
‹Master, Master… Heh heh, why do you look like that, Master?› Treant asked, tapping the ground with its wings and following a spot on the ground with its eyes.
Tell me, Treant. How do I look to you right now? How does the world look?
“I’m…not drinking that,” Atlach-Nacha said, watching Volk and Treant’s slurred moves with disdainful eyes. A wise decision.
“I don’t know what it is, but to me, this tastes delicious,” Allo said, sipping on the Monkey Wine Soma with a big smile on her face.
Oh, right. Allo’s completely immune to status conditions too…
It was kinda funny to see her drinking that stuff without a care in the world while Volk was slumped over with his head in his hands after just a little sip.
Despite Volk’s obvious anguish, he tossed back his cup and gulped down the rest of his drink.
“Um, Volk? That’s not water…!”
“I know that. But one must drink what they pour.”
“Hey, c’mon! Don’t be reckless with this stuff!” I warned.
“But…it is not bad. Not bad at all…” Volk abruptly stood and began to stagger toward the stupidly big nut with all the Monkey Wine Soma inside. “Perhaps I’ll have just…one more.”
“Stop it, Volk! Don’t let this become a habit! I don’t want to see you like that! Allo, get him some water, okay?!”
“S-sure! Be right there!” Allo leapt from her seat.
I ran toward Volk. “H-hey! You okay?!”
“What? ’M fine. I’m sorry for always making you worry, Leral.”
“‘Leral’? Isn’t that the name of your sword…? Oh, come on! At least mistake me for a human, will ya?! Your greatsword talks to you in your head?!”
For a moment, I thought Volk was talking about a real person he knew that I’d never met before. He always made Leral worry? What was that supposed to mean? Why would that big sword worry about him?
“Hang in there, Volk…”
Just then, I heard a massive splash. I looked up and spotted Treant’s head emerging out of the water; it had just fallen into the river. ‹Master! You’re spinning, Master! Are you okay?!›
“I’m not spinning, your vision is! Jeez, Treant, this is so embarrassing. Get your butt outta there! You’re gonna drown!” I was pretty tipsy too, but Treant’s predicament sobered me up. Someone could get seriously hurt, or even die if we weren’t careful. That stupid monkey left us a pretty terrible parting gift.
I was about to chase after Treant when I heard Grandpa Magiatite’s Telepathy behind me.
‹N-no, don’t! Put that down, Volk!›
I turned around to find Volk scooping his next drink into his cup. “It’s all right, Leral. This third drink will be my last.”
Wait, did that mean he’d already finished his second drink?! What the actual hell?!
“Atlach-Nacha, make sure Volk is cut off! Don’t let him drink any more! I’ll help Treant!”
I leapt into the river and swam forward, chasing after Treant as it was swept away with the current. Before long, I caught up to it and succeeded in dragging it out of the river.
‹F-forgive me, Master… That was the biggest mistake of my life.›
“I’m just glad to see you’ve come to your senses,” I replied.
‹Yes, well…I guess we should get back and have another drink.›
“Huh?! Seriously?!” I grabbed Treant by the wings and shook it in frustration. “Snap out of it, Treant!”
But Treant wasn’t the only one I was worried about. Now that Treant was safe, I rushed back to the vat of Monkey Wine Soma, afraid Volk was in some other predicament. I’d left Atlach-Nacha there to watch over him, but even so, I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Leraaaaaaaaallll! Doldinaaaaa! Forgive meeeeeeee! I was not worthy to wield you! I have caused you all to suffer! I’m nothing but a failure of a swordsman!” Volk was rolling around on the ground, wailing. Oh. This has gotten…drastic. From what I could recall, Leral and Doldina were both the names of swords Volk had lost in battle.
Atlach-Nacha looked at Volk with cold eyes.
“I told you to stop him, didn’t I, Atlach-Nacha?!” I lectured her. “He’s still getting even worse! You just let him drink all he liked?!”
“I tried to stop him, but I lost the desire to get involved in his mess.”
“I get it, but you can’t just leave him to suffer! That soma’s dangerous! It’s not Volk’s fault!” I hastily held down Volk’s body. “Volk, please don’t make this any uglier than it already is!”
“Of course I won’t! I shall never repeat the same mistakes I made with Leral and Doldina! I swear on my soul!”
“I’m not talking about that! I’m talking about right now, damn it!!”
“Master Dragon! Treant fell in the river again!” Allo shouted.
‹Master! This way, this way! Heh heh heh, I hope you can catch up to me this time!›
Ugh… I crouched down, holding my head in my hands. How…did we end up like this?
Eventually, I somehow managed to rescue Treant, gave it and Volk plenty of water to drink, and carried them both to the back of the waterfall cave.
I was pretty exhausted by that point. I wonder if I’ll be strong enough to go see Umukahime tomorrow? “That stupid monkey…if I never see it again, it’ll be too soon.”
For the record, I ended up smashing the Monkey Wine Soma nut and cooked the rest of the alcohol with Scorching Breath. I should’ve done this as soon as I got it. And burned the monkey to a crisp too. I mean, I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm, but I’m still not gonna forgive him.
“Leral! Leral! My beloved Leraaaaaaaaaaaal!” I heard Volk cry out from the cave.
I resolved myself to forget everything Volk said and did today and hope he’d feel better tomorrow. I was still a little tipsy, and very drowsy besides. I set Treant down and collapsed on the spot.
“M-Master Dragon?!” Allo rushed over to me, concerned. “Are you okay?!”
“Uuurgh… I don’t…feel so good,” I mumbled, my head spinning. Maybe I should just lie down for a little while…
Treant snuggled up close to me. ‹Master, Masteeeer…›
I slung my arm around Treant’s back. Y’know…in its tree spirit form, Treant’s pretty cuddly. It’s so nice and soft…
Allo stared at me in shock, but then swallowed like she’d made up her mind about something. Blushing, she snuggled closer. “M-Master! I…I feel kind of tipsy too!”
…Huh? But she seemed totally fine before…and isn’t she immune to status conditions?