“Why…why are you saying this now?”
“Now is my only shot. I’m sure I’ll never get another chance to steal you from Ms. Aalto, to pry you from the Sword Roses. You know I’m right. You love them far too much. If I let you, you’ll go anywhere with them. That’s why you’re so lost right now.”
This took his breath away. She saw to the depths of his dilemma with clarity far beyond his expectations. Was he that obvious? But he soon realized that wasn’t all of it—this was proof. Proof of how closely this girl had been watching him.
“The strength of that curse must be captivating. I know—during the fight in the trunk, even from a distance, I could see how happy you looked. Delighted to fight right there with Mr. Horn and Ms. Hibiya. Even if the price was this terrifying curse eating away at you.”
“!”
He could think of no rebuttals. Like Rita mentioned, those were the exact emotions that had won out—and they were still smoldering away within. That was why he was hesitant to return the curse to Baldia. And Rita had been there for it. She’d seen it happen, so how could he attempt to explain it away?
“…You don’t have a fighter’s nature,” Rita told him. “You were built to cultivate—not destroy and slaughter. But becoming a wrangler changes that. Takes that same talent and turns it to death and devastation. In exchange for all the beautiful things those hands could have grown.”
Rita’s voice was shaking. Guy could tell this was what she feared most. Only now was he realizing this wasn’t an issue for the Sword Roses alone. This was a huge decision. It would affect any number of lives—and vastly change some of them.
“Maybe that’ll do it for you,” Rita added. “If you can be with the Sword Roses, protect them with your own hands—then perhaps the price will be worth it. But I can’t bear the thought. I can’t, and I won’t. I don’t want to lose you. You belong in the sun, with a smile on your face…!”
Her words were almost a shriek now. Guy was way past asking anything stupid like Why? He’d felt it himself any number of times, unrelated to Rita. In an unnatural environment like Kimberly, someone like him stood out all the more. Perhaps on a smaller scale than Purgatory—Alvin Godfrey—but both had been adored for the same reason.
Rita wiped her tears and put her hands to her breast. She looked Guy in the eye once again, not letting him take a turn. She’d come here prepared for every step of this, but his heart was not ready for anything. All he could do was stand there like a stick of wood, hearing her words, incapable of anything more.
“I’ll care for the plants you left in the conservatory. You don’t mind, right? I often joined you in making observations, so it’ll be easier for me to take over. And you won’t owe any upperclassmen anything.”
“…I’d…appreciate that. But…Rita…”
“You won’t owe me. Just…come see me. Once every few days—or even once a week. I’ll give you a progress update on the plants. It won’t take that long.”
She wasn’t backing down. His feeble efforts to throw a wrench in her plans were in vain—her strength of will batted it away. Rita was hardly in her right mind. She’d chosen to unleash it all here, which was why no modest effort would stop her. Cheeks flushed with excitement and shame, the tremor in her voice growing stronger, she pressed on.
“A-and if you feel a need for human warmth, go right ahead. I-it’s not like my body’s a turnoff for you, is it? I heard you talking about your type. You like big, strong gals, even if they’re a bit awkward—I was so relieved to hear that. I got quite carried away, feeling like I had at least one thing you would like.”
A painful confession that made him downright dizzy. Objectively speaking, Rita was certainly taller than average, but not in any way awkward. And mages were capable of adjusting their figure by hook or by crook, yet she always put herself down for the simple reason that the root of her self-loathing ran far deeper—and he’d just caught a glimpse of it. Her nails dug into her chest, as if she’d read his mind.
“I knew you wouldn’t recoil from this! That’s why I fell for you; that’s why I knew I could give myself to you. This isn’t nearly as infectious as that curse—and if I’m aware of the risks and take measures, yours won’t transfer that easily, either. So if you want me, just…say the word. I have no experience, but…I’ll do anything I can.”
Too worked up to hide her feelings anymore, Rita buried her face in both hands. Guy wanted to abandon words, pull her close, rub her head—and once she’d calmed down, chew her out for several hours. But now that wasn’t an option. No matter how much she begged for it, he couldn’t take her up on the offer. Helpless, Guy gnashed his teeth and managed a feeble response.
“…Man, I’d love to give you a piece of my mind, but…the words ain’t coming. It’s too much at once, I guess. You couldn’t have doled this out a bit at a time?”
“…Sorry. If I’m honest, I wanted to leave your head spinning. If I wore you out…maybe you’d let me slip in.”
She could have easily left that unsaid. But she didn’t have the nerve to share her feelings with ulterior motives unspoken; that awkward honesty made him care all the more.
At last, his emotions fell in line. He took a few breaths and began to sort himself out. More than anything, this was hardly an issue that came down to a yes or no. This was something they had to work themselves up to, look each other in the eye, and discuss over time. Not a process that could begin right here. So the first thing he needed to tell her was that he wanted to do just that.
“…Give me time. I can’t say anything here and now. Once my head’s cooled off, maybe I can scold you properly.”
“…Okay. I’ll…be waiting for that.”
Rita got it. She pulled her hands from her flushed face, looking up at him with expectation and anxiety in equal measures. Guy winced. For all her bold moves, he knew this had taken a lot of courage.
“…Um, so…can I handle your plants?”
She barely got the question out. Whatever came of the rest—that much, she wanted to nail down. Sensing that, Guy folded his arms, looking her over.
“If I say no, you’ll take it as rejection. I ain’t letting you off the hook that easy. You’d better cultivate ’em properly! You let a single one wilt, I’ll be hopping mad.”
“Got it! I promise—they’re in good hands!”
Rita nodded, tears in her eyes. Guy grinned, nodded, and waved as he moved past her.
Whatever happened, he was a long way from rejoining the Sword Roses. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take care of some other stuff in the meanwhile. That was about as positive as he could get right now.