Zombies, on the other hand, ignored that logic and had the audacity to press on well after they’d been felled, even if they had to crawl or slither to do it. They were a woefully bad fit for the Fellowship, as a clan founded on pure martial strength. If they had taken on these zombies unaware of the colossal disadvantage they’d been at, many, many people would have died. Of course that didn’t happen, but he couldn’t simply say that everything was fine and dandy. If he did speak up, however, then people would wonder why he wasn’t happy.
That was the heart of Siegfried’s displeasure.
He wanted to pound that smirking Goldilocks straight in the kisser.
Again, Siegfried wasn’t stupid. A little bit of mulling the situation over made the logic clear to him. Their boss hadn’t wanted the Fellows to lose morale before the fight had even begun; he wanted to tell his people about his idea after he knew that they were capable of winning. Siegfried understood the logic, but people didn’t function on pure logic. While most of the Fellows were in awe of their capable leader, there were some who kept their fear locked away.
Despite himself, Siegfried felt he had a pretty good estimation of Goldilocks. In his eyes, Erich was too shortsighted. He was a creature too enamored with people. Siegfried let out a long, exasperated sigh. Not everyone could fully understand logic and reason; not everyone could stand in the name of justice. And that included the Fellows that they trained and fought alongside.
Siegfried downed his cup of herbal tea—long since gone cold—and practically threw it onto the table before getting up. He was heading over to a bedroll. It had been left unfurled and was starting to smell from the number of sweaty Fellows who’d taken turns using it to rest. He was still grateful for a place to let his body lie for a time.
“U-Um, Dee...?”
“You get some sleep too.”
Without even making his usual jibe to call him Siegfried, the adventurer laid down and rolled over, facing away from his partner. He had known for a long time that his childhood friend had a deep and complex heart that he couldn’t truly understand. But since when? Back when he first met her, the daughter of a powerful healer in Illfurth? When they became friends? When he made the ridiculous request that he join her in becoming an adventurer?
At any rate, Siegfried didn’t truly feel like he understood Kaya—even now after his fingers and lips had explored every inch of her skin in bed. If someone were to ask him if he loved her, then he would argue that he was most likely too young to fully grasp the nuances of romantic love. But if someone asked him if she were more valuable to him than anyone in the world—even himself—then he would nod his head without hesitation. He reflected on a thought experiment someone had posed to him at the tavern. Imagine your mother and your lover were sick, but there was only one dose of medicine. Who would you save? Siegfried would give the medicine to Kaya without hesitation. That answer would remain true regardless of who was put in his mother’s position. Even if it were himself and Kaya cried, begging him to take it.
It didn’t feel good for someone that precious to keep secrets from him.
Siegfried had concerns about the Fellowship and Goldilocks himself. He wasn’t so small a man to think that Goldilocks, for all his pomp, would have feelings for Kaya. Erich was so singularly devoted to Margit that it exhausted her. Even Kaya’s occasional provocations didn’t bother him. All the same, it bothered him that the pair of them would share a secret that he wasn’t even allowed a glimpse of.
He ignored Kaya, who evidently was near his bedroll thinking of something to say, and closed his eyes. In a few hours, he would be on duty once more.
A quick sleep came thanks to his herbal brew, but his dreams were not pleasant ones.
[Tips] If everything could be solved with reason, then weapons would never have come into existence.
I sat myself down at the top of the watchtower under the pretense of keeping watch. Didn’t they say idiots and smoke both like high places? What a ridiculous expression... Not that I’d deny that I’m an idiot.
After over a decade of knowing her, spending three years by her side as an adventurer, and two years of exploring one another’s bodies, I still didn’t understand Margit. I wondered if there was some fundamental difference between men and women that meant that they couldn’t understand one another. Excepting my old chum, of course.
I just couldn’t understand the desire to see your boyfriend playing around with another woman!
The whole reason I’d come up here to keep watch (in other words, to stew in my thoughts alone) was because of something Margit had said just a little earlier today that had caught me off guard...
“Hey, Erich? I don’t recommend insulting women, you know.”
“Excuse me?”
“And it appears you do not understand the subtleties of popular sentiment.”
Nothing sprung to mind from what she had said, so I racked my brain, trying to think what was relevant about insulting women or popular sentiment. I could say that I had kept the canton safe until now and had kept their hearts at ease. I’d even tried to be less cold to the women here, just like Margit had said I should have. When I asked what I’d done wrong, Margit put a hand to her forehead and gave a tremendous sigh.
“Miss Firene has fallen for you, Erich.”
“E-Excuse me?”
I couldn’t grasp what she’d just said. In my eyes, Miss Firene came to me because I was an adventurer sung about in the songs. Just like how Siegfried flitted to Gattie or Mister Fidelio.
“I think you’re misunderstanding the situation,” I’d said.
“It pleases me to hear just how passionate you are for me, but it is a crime to not recognize a young woman in love.”
Despite this, I still couldn’t see what in Miss Firene’s gaze contained these emotions. But Margit chided me, saying that there had to be a limit to my gormlessness.
“Then how about we make a bet,” she’d said. “I bet that she will come and visit you.”
“On a night as dangerous as tonight?”
“Indeed. I promise you. A young woman always wishes to thank the man she’s fallen for.”
“Right... So what happens if I lose this bet?”
“You’ll have to give that young lady what she wants. Do as she wishes you to.”
“What she wants...?”
“Your seed, of course.”
I couldn’t help shouting out loud at how crudely Margit phrased that last sentence. A strange yelp escaped my mouth and ruptured the pure night air. I almost worried that I’d inadvertently woken someone up.
“What are you saying?!” I’d said.
“It isn’t rare for a young woman to pine for the handsome knight she’s fallen for. My insect blood tells me that she is at a marriageable age.”
Yeah, and?! That didn’t mean she had to act like a middle-school girl with misplaced priorities who’d just had her sexual awakening! Miss Firene had been taught to treat her chastity with some pride and to eventually marry into a well-to-do family. She wouldn’t give in to a passing fancy.
“The fact that you’re this eager to deny the possibility makes it a worthwhile bet on its face.”
“Sure. If Miss Firene did come here and things got heated, I’d never be able to show my face to Mister Giesebrecht.”
“Oh? He’d welcome it. Not only would a hero have left his seed, he would be showing his determination to protect the canton.”
I could only goggle at Margit. She’d told me before that I’d spent so long waltzing onto the arena of death that I’d numbed myself to what scared the common person. Not only that, everyone knew that a hero put his life on the line for women. In the stories, they would stand on the battlefield if a young maiden so requested it. Yes, yes, I got that—it was a hackneyed development that I’d heard hundreds of times.
“Mottenheim is still scared, Erich. So if you and Miss Firene develop a close connection, then the people will be at ease knowing that Goldilocks Erich would give up his life on the battlefield to let the place where he sought his rest remain safe. The people here will fight right until the end.”
“I wouldn’t run away and leave them, whether I did that or not!”
“But only you, me, and the Fellowship know that. You are aware just how the world at large views adventurers by now, aren’t you?”
We were scarcely better than the mountain bandits you could find lurking in any forest. But I’d formed the Fellowship in part because I wanted to rehabilitate that image. That was why I’d trained up virtuous and just professionals. I thought that this had come across...
“You see, there is no guarantee you wouldn’t run if things really turn bad. Words are only words.”
“But I showed them with my actions.”
“And I’m saying that it isn’t enough! Goodness, how dense are you?”
Margit had given me a dejected look before pointing a finger right at the center of my face.
“Listen to me. If you want to be my man, then don’t cast any shame on a woman. And protect the popular sentiment that exists here in the canton. Show them your best.”
“Wait!”
I had grabbed Margit’s shoulder before she leaped off the watchtower. I could just about... No, I forced myself to see her point of view before I replied, “Margit, what do you think? Does it please you for me to do such things with another woman? No matter how many people would fawn for your attention, I have zero intent of sharing you. Even if the God of Trials were to cast His eye on you, I would cut Him down!”
“That’s the thorny part of all this.” In faltering speech, Margit went on to say that she wanted me to drown in her love. But at the same time her base instincts whispered in her ear to make the man she’d chosen shine ever brighter. It was impossible for her to resist that instinct. “It tells me that the man I have fallen for needs to be popular with women. That I need to be proud of that and also be the one he would ultimately choose. My instincts yearn for that.” It was the chaos and fear a monster stirred up that made it so much more of an honor for the hunter when it was finally killed. Or so Margit had whispered as she averted her gaze.
“Oh, Margit...”
My partner had quite the sexual inclination.
“I can’t help it! This is just who I am! Is it so presumptuous of me to want you to love that part of me too?!”
“No, no... I’m just saying it’s an odd feeling. I’d always seen cheating as wrong...”