Day 121
NIGHT
I’d trade a sheepless night for this sleepless night in a heartbeat!
THE WHITE LOSER INN
AHH, CRAMMING SIDE-HUSTLE WORK in my inn room… Nostalgia. I finished the general store lady’s orders in no time flat. Previously, my sensory perception powers had been the bottleneck in the great assembly line that was my body, but that roadblock had been lifted thanks to my new ring. Now, thanks to the synergy of Wisdom and Magic Hands, we were opening new doors and ushering in a new age of production. Oh no. I know what that means. There’s no end to side hustling in sight…
“This fiscal quarter, our finest offerings include ultrathin, ultra-clingy short shorts. My powers of concentration are unmatched!”
Eventually, I reached a point where I was satisfied in calling it a day and switched into tinkering with my own equipment. One of these days, I’d run into a wall known as the saturation attack. My full-body magical cloak and endless evasion could only take me so far. I needed to make plans to handle massive numbers of foes before it was too late.
Back in the Theocracy, the girls had handled all the army-scale battles for me. They’d gotten through it unscathed, but I knew I couldn’t leave them to fight all my wars for me. Self-evidently, I needed better defense.
“The flower talismans are consumables, y’know? I can’t keep ignoring my low defense and resilience stats. The girls won’t let me into the biggest dungeons until I do.”
Wiggle wiggle.
I only had two pieces of armor I could equip at level 20: the shoulder funnels and the “Minotaur Leather Breastplate: Strength +30%. Physical and Magic Resistance (hyper). Slash and Penetration Resistance (hyper). +DEF. Slots three items.” I had no armor for my arms, legs, or waist. I didn’t want to sacrifice on quality, so that inevitably meant I would have to make my own. Still, I wished I had pieces of armor I could use for models.
“On the flipside, armor that’s heavy enough will just slow me down. That’s its own form of danger.”
Jiggle jiggle.
First things first—I used mithril on the Minotaur Leather Breastplate. C’mon, new Traits!
“Mithrilizing level 20 equipment is usually a waste of mithril, but that sweet, sweet ‘slots three’ hints at further upgrading potential.”
But that was where the upgrades ended. This called for a little elbow grease and old-fashioned tinkering.
“Add mithril here, some sigils there… Hmm. This still isn’t good enough to add to my routine kit. I can add more spellstones to it, but yeesh! This is eating up too much of my mithril! Oh well. Gotta protect the heart. Or maybe I should put my lungs first? ’Cause I use my breathing techniques a ton, and I’m sure I can lose my heart and still use Revival to pop right back up. I should min-max for a better defense build, but I’d also like to stick some concealed weapons on me. Hmm… Which is more important?”
Bobble bobble.
Oddly, building my own kit was quite a bit trickier than anyone else’s. I always took it seriously when making armor for other people—other peoples’ lives rode on it, y’know?—but whenever I worked on my own gear, I just got that itch to experiment. The desire to goof off was just too tempting.
Goofing off, that tantalizing mistress, explained why my defensive equipment flew away from the thing it was sworn to protect (me). Exhibit A: Shoulder funnels that did nothing to guard my shoulders. I’d get myself killed goofin’ one of these days, and the girls would be furious. That fury, if nothing else, was reason to take self-defense seriously.
“Right. So, for a defense build, maybe I should use this ‘Minotaur Cuirass: Strength, Vitality +50%. Physical and Magic Resistance (mega). Slash and Penetration Resistance (mega). Magic Armor. Multi-Layer Barrier Creation. +ATT, DEF. Slots seven items.’ I like the defense buffs, but I’m kinda worried about my lower half? For teenager reasons?”
My head was absolutely essential, because that’s where Wisdom and Jupiter Eye were stored. Pop my head clean off, and I couldn’t Revive back to life! I also needed my lungs for the breathing techniques that formed the backbone of my qi manipulation. If I kept those two areas safe, I could avoid an untimely demise.
“So, all that’s left are elbow and knee pads. I could totally make those myself. That’ll take some experimenting and prototyping… I probably shouldn’t attach drills to them. I think the girls won’t like that. Yes, for the sake of my sex appeal, I think I won’t do that. Even if it’d be really cool!”
“Baaah~!”
That couldn’t have been Slimey. Was that a sheep? Wait…make that three sheep! My latest invention: cotton-candy cotton fibers turned into woolly sheep bikinis! And Slimey had made himself scarce!
“Wh-what’s all this about? Y’know? I-I thought sheep were herbivores! These sheep bikini babes have the eyes of predators!”
“Baah, baah, baah!”
The sheep sisters advanced on me, one in black, one in white, one in pink. Their bleating warned me that there would be no escape. Counting these sheep wouldn’t have made me drowsy, as everything else about them made my nether regions wake up and take notice. The question begged: fluffity fluff the wooly bikinis or strip ’em off to get right to the fun part?
“Baah!” Slurp.
“Baah!” Suck.
“Baah!” Smack.
“I was right! You are meat eaters!”
The sheep made a beeline for my ear cuffs and anklets, ridding me of the accessories. Wary of any stray tentacles, the sheep worked quickly to disrobe me of my cloak, gloves, and boots. Then, these baahd, baahd beauties scrabbled all over me, legs a-tangling, to rip off my breastplate and bracelets and anything else standing in between me and my person.
“Not the virtue of chastitty in action! You’ve weaponized your full bodies in a horrible, sheepy trap! Shame on ewe!”
“Baah!” Slurp slurp.
“Baah!” Suck suck.
“Baah!” Smack smack.
Sensationally sexy sheep blanketed themselves over me, baahing in time to the writhing of our bodies. These sheep were eager grazers, devouring me right down to the root. I lost track counting how many sheep whizzed before my eyes, faster and faster, giving me no time to recover after each successive squirting!
But little did they know, they had forgotten one very important thing. In their wariness of the tentacles and their eagerness to put me through my teenage paces, they’d neglected to remember their sworn enemy!
“It hasn’t had its chance to shine in some time; it’s been kept under wraps for too long! Snake squad, I choose you!”
And then I unleashed the necklace! The hydra, chickenatrice, and lizardisk exploded out with gusto and swarmed to squirmy action. Maybe it was because the quality of my magic had changed, or maybe it was the change in magic density or purity—whatever the reason, the snakes ran rampant. They’d been ignored for too long and had gotten pretty bored trapped up in there. Have at ’em, gang!
“Aaaaaaah!”
Hisss? Cock-a-doodle-doo! Fssssk!
Off went the fluffy bras and bottoms—but the sheepy headbands could stay. Poor sheepies, bound fast in a cluster of snakes with fresh hydra heads beginning to worm their way up the bovid flanks.
“Huh? Why does the chickenatrice have a peacock tail now? You totally stole that!”
The rainbow plumage tickled the dungeon emperors’ bare skin, making their beautiful backs bend like bows. The chickenatrice wasn’t the only transformed beast—the lizardisk had grown new tongues, and this legion of red lollipop-lickers lolled from its maw to tantalize and tease the girls. The venom dripping from its mouth only served to heighten the overwhelming feast of the senses.
With patient, painstaking, persistent care, the tongues lavished attention and sweet, sticky venom on every scrap of skin. Ribbons of red writhed up white thighs like stripes on a barbershop pole. Sleeping Beauty’s long eyelashes fluttered, and she shivered as she saw star after star after star after star.
“First time, huh? Take it easy on her, guys—oh, that warning may have come too late, huh…”
Fssk?
The blissed-out blitz combined with the fearsome Sex magic to make a terrible confirmation, and when I used Entanglement, the effects only increased in an ever-mounting synergistic effect. The girls’ faces spazzed out, and their bodies quickly followed suit.
“Well, the snakes had their turn, and the new sensory perception had its turn, but my teenage boyness hasn’t had its turn. Geez, how sensitive are these girls? A light touch on the back and they’re twisting and turning.”
Poke poke? Twitch twitch!
Flick flick? Shudder shudder!
Stroke stroke? Quiver quiver!
“Dang. The dungeon emperors were already in a bad way, but with a single touch, they’re down for the count. Just how bad was this sensitivity boost?”
Hiss. Cock-a-doodle-doo! Fssk?
Then, with all the destructive powers of Sex Monad behind me, my gonads assumed their monadic form and—huh?
Silent screaming!!!
As it turned out, Entanglement’s exponential effects might’ve been a bit strong. The effect extended to the snakes, strengthening them too. I’d have to watch the footage later—for, ahem, research purposes—so all my recording equipment was locked and loaded, taking down every detail for further review. Okay! Time to do my best!