Dustin, listen…
✦ ✦ ✦
But then a voice crossed his mind. A kind, serene voice. A pair of eyes he thought were prettier than the highest spot in the sky.
You’re pure. I know you don’t like cheating.
I…
—So tell yourself you’re doing it for me. And come back.
Am I going to make even those words into a curse? Convince myself that they’re for me? Those words that wished for me to return alive so badly that they tried to shoulder the burden of my shame and cowardice?
Am I going to turn your words, the words of a kind witch, into a curse, too? Am I going to turn those words into a lie just so you won’t hate me?
—You can’t let yourself cheat.
It’s just like you said. I hate cheating and cowardice. I can’t forgive myself for doing that.
—Keep your promise and don’t die.
—Come back to me.
But you said you’ll be there to take me back. That you’ll take me back. Even if I can’t save anyone, even if I abandoned someone once, the least I can do is not make you mourn. To be someone not just I, but someone as kind as you won’t be ashamed of.
Weak as I am, I can at least do that. I can at least strive to do that!
“Come here.” Dustin extended his hand.
The girl looked between his hand and face, confused.
“Come here. We’ll go back together!”
For a second, the girl looked like she was on the verge of tears. She ran over, and he caught her and picked her up in his arms. This would be faster than keeping up with the walking pace of a little girl, and it wasn’t like his pistol would be any good for fending off the Legion. They’d just have to hide, wait for them to pass by, and follow the retreating army.
He couldn’t fight. If the Legion stood in his way, he wouldn’t be able to drive them off. He simply wasn’t strong enough to do that.
But even the weak, despite their weakness, had their ways.
“Just stay quiet for a while, okay? I promise I’ll take you back to safety.”
Because if nothing else, I have to return to safety.
✦ ✦ ✦
A duck or goose that still unfortunately remembered what it’d been like being tended to by humans approached Yuuto, who beat it dead with a stick and cut it up. Whatever sensibility that would have made him averse to seeing blood after the events of this day had been worn down a long time ago.
He was in the Legion territories, in an area where the Ameise were patrolling and looking about, lured in by the sound of the explosion. Despite this, he returned to the woods to hide and lit a campfire in a small pit that concealed its glow. He used the fire to cook the meat.
This was a method of conserving stamina on a winter battlefield. Or at least, that was his intent. But now that he was all alone, with no one’s voice nearby, he finally realized it wasn’t the only reason.
A crow landed next to him with a flutter. It must have been hungry, so far from the front lines with no humans to provide it with scraps. Yuuto threw it a piece of meat, but rather than eat it and run off, it stayed on the spot, pecking on the ground.
A crow. A scavenger that fed on the flesh of the dead.
“—Hey.”
The crow couldn’t have possibly understood his call, but it cocked its small head curiously like it did.
“Come tomorrow, won’t you go and eat her?”
Or maybe the rats would get to her remains by tonight. And that would be fine, too. He said he’d take her heart along, but he wished her lingering flesh could become sustenance for the birds taking flight or the animals crawling about. Somewhere within that cycle, she’d eventually find her way back to her hometown. She’d be able to see the whole world, just like she wished to.
He didn’t make her a grave. She asked for him not to see her, after all, and Eighty-Six didn’t have graves to begin with.
And she and her friends were Eighty-Six. They kept going, reaching their final destination.
Same as me.
✦ ✦ ✦
A full day and night had passed, but all ten of the Federacy’s front lines were still locked in combat. A personnel officer from far in the Rüstkammer base told Lena he’d take over for her, so she should get some rest. Lena agreed and turned off the Para-RAID.
The tactical staff officer who was originally supposed to replace her was injured earlier and had to be hospitalized. The fighting had become so severe that stray bullets reached as far as the command post at the back of the defensive line.
She was told to rest, but Lena’s mind was too alert and awake for her to get any sleep. The state of excitement made her body prioritize sending blood to her head, so even her neglected stomach didn’t show any signs of hunger.
But still, eating something small to have at least something in her belly and closing her eyes for a bit would be better than nothing. Having decided that, she picked up TP, which was sitting quietly at the corner of her desk, and walked to the bed in the adjacent room. Having experienced the first large-scale offensive, TP had keenly learned to discern when states of emergency were beginning, and it always stayed by Lena’s side so as to not get separated from her if something happened.
Jonas entered the room, carrying pasted-together, printed-out maps of the Rüstkammer theater and the surrounding combat zones that Lena demanded earlier. At this point, the Federacy’s communication networks were completely jammed due to the large amounts of data that was being transmitted at all times. There were no real-time maps Lena could obtain right now, so having paper maps she could write on was quick and useful.
“The numbers of the surviving units in each sector are unclear at the moment, Colonel Milizé. With combat ongoing, they’ve all been in a hectic state, making it impossible to con— Ah?”
Jonas flinched—TP had pounced at him, hissing in intimidation. TP’s back was arched, and its tail and fur were standing upright, its fangs bared like an angry little lion. It was completely prepared to fight. Jonas, who had no recollection of doing anything to antagonize the small creature, inched away from it, confused.
This absurd sight was so far removed from the tension of a command post in the heat of battle, Lena was taken by surprise and nearly burst out laughing. She looked away, withstanding the urge.
Or rather, Jonas seemed to somehow not realize what he did wrong, but in truth TP was acting exactly as expected. Jonas honestly deserved it.
“TP loves me, so given you harassed me so much, it’s only natural he’d be aggressive around you.”
“Ah…! Still, I understand that you’re unhappy with what happened, but it was by no means harassment…” Jonas seemed offended by the implication and rushed an explanation.
“You say that after forcing a woman away, locking her up in a room, and leaving her confined, anxious, and afraid?” Zashya remarked coldly. “Forget harassment, this is outright abuse. The actions of a pimp, an enemy of all womankind.”
“A pi—?!”
Seeing Jonas turn outright speechless from the accusation, Lena couldn’t help herself and laughed, picking TP up in her arms. Laughing helped pull her mind out of the tension of the battlefield, and she thankfully realized this made her fatigue and hunger rise up to the surface.
“Let’s go, TP. Forget about this bully and let’s sleep together.”
“Meow.”
“I am not a bully…!”
TP suddenly purred. And after getting flustered over something inconsequential for a while, Jonas looked quite exhausted in his own right. Compared with the other three commanders, Lena was single-handedly managing a workload that would have taken multiple staff officers to handle, so her exhaustion was understandable.
As Lena ignored them and made her way to the bedroom, Annette walked over.
“Just give it up, Second Lieutenant. You’re a bully and an enemy to all womankind and a scary person… Here you go, tea. You must be tired; something sweet should wake you up.”
“Thank you, Major… Ugh, it’s bitter! What did you put in this?!”
“Oh, sorry about that,” Annette said, her voice completely monotone and very unapologetic. “I must have mixed up the sugar and the instant coffee.”
“They’re the opposite colors, for crying out loud!” Jonas jabbed, overly serious.
He’d fallen for her prank without even realizing it, which just stood to show how much he wasn’t thinking straight. Smiling sarcastically, Lena gave him one parting remark.
“You need to get some rest, too, Second Lieutenant. I’m sure your master will order you to do so before long.”
And with that said, Lena vanished into the bedroom to take a nap.