True to Yuuto’s statement, it took some time, but they slipped through the western front’s defensive line in the Niva Nova combat territory, as well as the Legion’s patrol lines. It was a brief and yet long trek.
They were now in the western side of the Noidafune territory, by now firmly within Legion turf, and stopped deep in a nameless forest on its northern fringe. They were by a large lake, also nameless save for whatever local name the residents who’d lived nearby once gave it. And scattered at the edge of that lake, by the shadows of the long tree and all over the branches, were white, long-necked birds.
Even Shiohi, whose drooping eyes tended to be sleepily half-open, looked at them with wide eyes as she whispered:
“…Swans?”
“There’s a few swans here, but…these are mostly geese.”
Or maybe ducks—Yuuto couldn’t always tell them apart. He’d seen fowl like these, which weren’t chickens, in the Eighty-Sixth Sector. They were edible if they hunted them down.
Some of the cattle and livestock that’d been freed during the evacuations likely ended up running because of the fighting that followed, leading to them gathering in Legion-controlled areas. This let them avoid animals like bears and wolves, which the Legion did recognize as offensive targets, allowing smaller livestock to live safely here even after the front line was pulled back.
Then again, foxes and birds of prey weren’t targeted by the Legion, either, and these livestock were domesticated animals that were used to living under the care of humans. Yuuto pondered that finding prey probably wasn’t a problem for any mountain cats or foxes living nearby.
But Yuuto didn’t speak these violent thoughts aloud, so Citri and the others didn’t know about them. Instead, they approached the birds, making quacking sounds at a flock of geese that were used to being cared for by humans, and grinned at them happily.
“They’re so friendly!”
“So cute…and fluffy…!”
Oh…
After seeing this, Yuuto realized that it would be best to give up on catching one of them for dinner.
✦ ✦ ✦
Not only was he incapable of saving Citri, but he also hurt Anju on top of that. He said something unthinkable to his precious girlfriend. That realization finally drove Dustin to a corner. Maybe he should have just rushed out to the battlefield to find her, even knowing he’d never make it. Considering the state he was in, maybe he should just betray Anju and set out, returning or surviving be damned.
He wanted someone to agree with him. Tell him he was right. But no one indulged him that way, so he called out to Amari again, seeking words that would spur him on. But the moment she saw him, Amari’s eyes widened.
“…I’m sorry. This is a bit late to say, but perhaps I shouldn’t have told you after all.”
“Did she say anything else? Did Citri say anything else?”
Their words overlapped, but he was unable to stop himself and kept going. He didn’t care for her apology. Citri’s words mattered more. He wanted to be told Citri blamed him for his powerlessness. That she said something that would send him charging to the battlefield without looking back, running until he exhausted all his strength.
“Did she ask why I didn’t save her? Call me scum? Say I should just…die?”
Amari cocked her head a little. Dustin’s expression was visibly awful, so she wasn’t too taken aback by how incoherent he was being. But…
“She didn’t ask to be saved…”
✦ ✦ ✦
“Look, Yuuto!”
Citri hurried over to him, one of those birds—a goose or a duck—in her arms. Apparently, the goose had jumped into her arms for want of attention, and Citri looked as ecstatic as a child.
“It’s really friendly! And spoiled, too. It likes getting pats. Come on, Yuuto, try patting it!”
Her pale-violet eyes twinkled with joy, and for the first time, he saw her make a truly carefree smile. He reached out almost unconsciously, spurred by her words—not for the goose looking at him with its black eyes, but for Citri’s long flaxen hair. For her smooth, pale cheek under it, dirtied by their long journey.
Citri’s eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t run.
But the next moment, a bird on the lake—a real swan—let out a monstrous screech that one would never expect from its graceful form and flew away from the water. And despite the sound coming from another creature, it was a distress cry, and it made the geese flee in a panic. The one sitting in Citri’s arms likewise flew off in a flutter of feathers.
“Ah!”
“Whoa!”
The two got out of the way, of course, and he pulled his hand away before he could touch her. The other geese all flew off around them, filling the area with feathers. It was almost like snow—except it was too fluffy and dirty. They peered at each other, looking absurd with feathers covering their head and hair.
And then Citri and Yuuto both burst into laughter at once. Both of them tried to laugh it off, to pretend they didn’t notice that strange impulse that had guided them a moment ago.
✦ ✦ ✦
Amari’s expression looked dubious, like she was confused as to why he had to think about this in a way that made everything more complicated than it should be.
“She just said she wanted to see you. That she wanted to see her friend one last time… She was worried about you, what with the offensive. But after hearing you were fine, she said she wanted to see you before the end, because you were her best friend… Oh, right.”
As Dustin held his breath, she continued, looking like she just remembered something.
“She said she wanted to apologize to you proper. For breaking a promise that you’d go to school and play together tomorrow. To apologize for disappearing.”
Those were words he didn’t expect. And…honestly, once he stopped to think about it, it was an obvious wish to make. It left Dustin stunned.
“…She wanted to see me for that?”
He hardly even remembered it anymore. He couldn’t even come up with the idea of her wish being something as simple and obvious as wanting to see a friend again.
How would I even save Citri? When did I start assuming Citri even wanted me to save her? I’m acting like I’m some kind of chosen one, some savior. Or some kind of saint of penance, shouldering the sins of the foolish. I treated Citri, and all the friends who got taken away from that new town, like they’re a tragedy that happened to me. I held them up like a banner, to show off that I’m on the right side, that I’ve known tragedy.
✦ ✦ ✦
