“Aah-choo!”
I, Seiichi, sneezed so violently that my neck cracked.
At that moment, I was on my way toward the so-called Wailing Land, following the directions Al had given me. Everything had been going smoothly until my nose suddenly started itching.
“Ugh… great. Someone’s probably talking about me,” I muttered. Not that I’m famous enough for rumors to go around… right?
As I mulled it over, Saria glanced up at me, worry clouding her bright green eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh… yeah. Probably.”
“‘Probably?’” Al frowned, her tone a mix of teasing and skepticism. “It’s hard to imagine you catching a cold in the first place. Actually, are you even capable of getting sick?”
“I can! Right? Wait. I can, can’t I?”
“You don’t even know?” she said flatly, her gaze fixed on me as if I had just declared that I didn’t understand how breathing works.
Come to think of it, she had a point. Since coming to this world, I couldn’t remember a single time I’d gotten sick. Sure, I’d almost died once—thanks to the Forest of Endless Heartbreak and those lovely poison mushrooms—but illness? Not once.
Well, whatever. If I really can’t get sick, that’s great news. I mean, yeah, it might mean I’m not exactly human anymore, but let’s not split hairs.
Al shielded her eyes from the blazing sunlight, squinting toward the horizon. “Still, the sun’s brutal out here…”
She wasn’t wrong. The sun burned bright and merciless overhead, and the landscape around us had begun to change as the grass thinned and the trees faded away, leaving the earth barren and dry. No monsters, no people, just wind and heat.
“Hey, Seiichi,” Al said, glancing over at me with a grimace. “Aren’t you hot in that outfit? Just looking at you makes me sweat.”
“Huh? Not really.”
She groaned. “You can’t be human.”
“That’s harsh!” I protested, though she kind of had a point. Thanks to my stats—and, well, the gear I was wearing—heat didn’t really bother me.
Al wiped sweat from her brow, while Saria, walking beside us, didn’t seem the least bit affected.
“See?” I said quickly, desperate for backup. “Saria’s fine too, right?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I don’t really feel hot.”
“Yeah, but Saria’s a monster,” Al shot back.
“Oh, right.”
Sometimes I forgot. She looked so human most of the time that it was easy to overlook the fact that she was, well… a gorilla.
Feeling the grave I’d just dug for myself, I decided it was time to change the subject.
“Hey, uh… the Wailing Land we’re heading to is near the Demon Kingdom, right?”
“Yeah,” Al replied with a nod.
“So does that mean we’ve already crossed into demon territory?”
“Nah. The route we’re using is the most direct path straight to the Wailing Land. We’ll reach it without ever setting foot in the Demon Kingdom.”
“Huh… I wonder if Routier and the others went through the Demon Kingdom instead?”
“Most likely,” Al said, shading her eyes as she looked toward the horizon. “The Wailing Land sits right next to it. Safer to travel that way, too, especially with the Demon King’s army escorting them. Protecting the royal line was their original job, remember?”
“Ah, right…”
I’d completely forgotten about that. The Demon King’s army wasn’t just a military force; it was their duty to guard Routier and her kin. Kind of easy to overlook, considering they’d been trained directly by the first Demon King, Lucius himself.
“Now that I think about it,” I said, frowning, “if her father’s sealed so close to their borders, why hasn’t anyone unsealed him yet?”
“That’s… a good question,” Al admitted. “Maybe they didn’t have a way to break the seal? Or maybe it’s something only you can do?”
“Me? Why would I be the key to unsealing anything?” I waved a hand. “Besides, if that were true, why did Routier and the others go ahead without me? It doesn’t make sense.”
Both of us tilted our heads, equally lost in thought, until Saria’s voice suddenly rang out, sharp and alert.
“Hey! There’s a monster!”
“Huh? Oh, right. Now that you mention it, it feels like ages since we’ve seen anything alive.”
Of course, that wasn’t technically true—we’d been surrounded by people before setting out—but as the landscape grew harsher and emptier, the world had gone eerily still. No humans, no beasts… just endless stretches of cracked earth and heat shimmer.
When I followed Saria’s gaze, I spotted a creature that looked vaguely like a two-humped camel. The difference was in its humps: they glowed a deep, molten red, rumbling and spitting embers like miniature volcanoes.
The instant its gaze locked onto us, hostility flared in its eyes.
I didn’t waste time. “All right… let’s see what we’re dealing with.”
I activated Analysis.
“Huh… ‘Camel-Daruma, Level 402’?” I squinted at the name hovering above its head. “Daruma? Isn’t that what those round, red Japanese dolls are called? Where’s the ‘Daruma’ part supposed to come in?”
Before I could make sense of it, the creature began trembling violently.
“Hiiiii-hin!”
“Wait… That’s a horse whinny?!”
It looked like a camel, sure, but camels don’t sound like that! Even my donkey doesn’t… well, okay, my donkey talks, so maybe I’m not one to judge. While I was still reeling, the monster’s twin humps began to swell like volcanoes. In the next instant, they erupted, sending fountains of magma spewing into the sky.
“Whoa?!” I stumbled back, bracing myself for the inevitable rain of molten death. But instead—
“Hiiiii-hiiiin!!”
“Wait, what?!”
The magma poured straight back down onto the camel’s own head. I blinked in disbelief. Did it really just… dump magma on itself? The molten liquid splashed across its body, cooled instantly, and hardened into a black shell. In seconds, the creature’s once-lean frame had turned into a smooth, round lump of lava, with only its camel head poking out on top.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered. “Now, it turned itself into one of those little round dolls…”
The monster tilted its head proudly, the only part of it that could still move, as if showing off its new shape.
“Hi-hin.”
“That smug look… Ugh, you’re proud of this, aren’t you?!” Grinding my teeth, I glared at the creature’s unshakable grin. That face is so punchable. Still, I had to admit, curiosity won out over irritation. “But, uh… how exactly are you supposed to attack like that now?”
“…”
We just stood there, staring each other down, the smug camel-ball radiating self-satisfaction, and me radiating deep confusion.
A cold breeze drifted between the Camel-Daruma and me. Which was odd, considering we were standing in the middle of a blazing wasteland.
“Hiiiii-hiiiiiin!!”
“You’re just… yelling at me now?! That’s your move?!” I exclaimed. Apparently, the thing had no real means of attack. It threw its head back, mouth wide, and from within came a pink, fleshy-looking sac, followed by a stream of thick white liquid. “Oh, gross! What even is that?!”
“Hey,” someone said.
“Huh?”
“Hi-hiiiiiiin?!”
Before I could process what was happening, Saria, who had somehow shifted into her gorilla form without me noticing, strode forward and flattened the poor monster with a single punch.
“Uh… Miss Saria? That was… merciless.”
“He threaten. I strike.”
Ah. The Law of the Jungle. Pure and simple.
While I stood there, half-stunned and half-impressed, Al, who had stayed silent through the whole bizarre encounter, let out a weary sigh.
“Honestly… it was a monster, so yeah, killing it makes sense. Still, you didn’t really need to, you know? It wasn’t doing any harm. Anyway, can we move on? I only stuck around because you wanted to watch the damn thing.”
“Oh… uh, right. Sorry about that.”
Apparently, she’d been humoring me. I really need to stop getting distracted by stupid monsters.
As we left the scene, I couldn’t help thinking again about how wildly diverse the creatures in this world were. There were so many strange species that it was almost impossible to be surprised anymore.
But none of us—not me, Al, or Saria—stopped to question the fact that even that ridiculous Camel-Daruma had been over level four hundred. If we had, maybe we would’ve realized sooner why no one had ever dared break the seal so close to the Demon King’s land.