The next day, Amelia called me back to her office. After yesterday’s tense discussion about the “reward,” I wasn’t entirely sure how today’s meeting would unfold.
Not that I have any complaints, really. After that awkward discussion, she’d followed through on everything she’d promised: a proper banquet, an amazing bathhouse, and a five-star treatment all around. Honestly, I already felt like I’d received more than enough. If they tried to give me anything else, I’d start feeling genuinely guilty just for existing.
That thought was still lingering as I stepped into the room.
Amelia was already there, joined by Helen, Leyll, and Swinn. They were all gathered and waiting, but something felt off—a strange tension in the air, a restless energy.
Everyone looked kind of jittery.
I tilted my head slightly, puzzled. “Uh… so, you called me here. Does that mean you’ve figured out what kind of reward you’re giving me?”
“Y-Yes,” Amelia replied, her voice stiff. “We have.”
“I see…”
Silence followed.
Another beat passed.
“…?”
Wait. Didn’t she just say they decided?
And yet no one was saying a word. In fact, when I really looked, Amelia’s face was noticeably flushed.
Oh no. I felt a creeping unease crawl up my spine. I don’t know what’s about to happen, and I can’t explain why, but I have a really bad feeling about this. Like, terrible. The kind of twist that leads to endless complications later.
That bizarre sixth sense of mine, the one that only ever activates in truly unfortunate situations, was blaring like a siren. I was seconds away from turning on my heel and leaving when, whether for better or worse, Leyll, who had been standing quietly behind Amelia, finally intervened.
“Um… Your Majesty. If you remain silent like this, Seiichi-dono won’t have any idea what’s going on…”
“I… I know that!” Amelia snapped defensively, her voice cracking slightly. After a small cough to compose herself, she looked me dead in the eyes, her cheeks still burning crimson. “Seiichi-dono. I’m ready to tell you what your reward will be.”
“R-Right.”
Something in her tone made me instinctively sit up straighter. Then, without flinching, she raised her voice and made her grand declaration.
“Your reward is me!”
“Right, I—wait, what?!”
✦ ✦ ✦
✦ ✦ ✦
Wait… did she just say “me”? As in, herself? “I’m the reward”? No, that can’t be right. Maybe I misheard that. Maybe she said… “medal”? Or “meal”? Please tell me she didn’t just offer herself like that?!
“I said me!” Amelia barked, jabbing her thumb toward her chest. “I, the Empress of the Varcia Empire, am your reward!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa… Hold on a minute!” I flailed my hands in protest. “Can we not just leap straight to that?!”
“And why exactly should I wait?!” she shot back, visibly worked up.
“Wait, I’m the weird one now?!”
Isn’t wanting to pause and process this totally reasonable?! I haven’t caught up to the conversation at all!
“How in the world did we even get to that conclusion?!” I cried.
“You got a problem with it?!”
Amelia’s cheeks were scarlet, but instead of backing down, she stood tall, facing me with the kind of bold defiance you’d expect from a commander on the battlefield, not someone offering herself as a diplomatic prize. I had absolutely no idea how to handle this.
That’s when Swinn, who had been quietly watching from the back with a slightly strained smile, stepped in at last. “Why are you starting a fight?! Your Majesty, if you don’t explain things clearly, Seiichi-dono is just going to stay confused. Look at him… he has no idea what’s going on.”
“Hmph. He should just shut up and accept it.”
“That’s not how this works!” I protested. “You can’t expect me to just nod and say thanks like this is normal!”
Seriously, who could just accept something like this in silence?!
Swinn let out a deep sigh, the kind born of long service to a ruler with no brakes. “Yesterday, during the meeting, we agreed it would be a proposal, not a demand. Whether or not Seiichi-dono accepts was supposed to be his choice. So how did this turn into a hostage negotiation?”
“I-I know!” Amelia stammered, panic creeping into her voice. “But I’ve never done anything like this before, and I just… I don’t know what I’m doing!”
Swinn crossed her arms, completely unamused. “No one has experience with handing themselves over as a reward. That’s not exactly a thing people train for.”
Exactly! Yes! Thank you! I nodded along silently, overwhelmed with gratitude that someone in the room still understood basic logic. Swinn turned her gaze toward me, calm and composed, as if trying to gently talk down someone on the verge of losing their grip.
“Well, since Her Majesty can’t seem to explain herself properly,” Swinn said with a resigned sigh, “I’ll do it for her. To put it bluntly, the current Varcia Empire doesn’t have anything that would qualify as a proper reward for the service you’ve rendered, Seiichi-dono. Frankly, even at the empire’s peak, I doubt there was anything we could’ve offered that would’ve been worthy. That’s just how monumental your achievement is.”
“Huh.” I let out a noncommittal grunt, unsure where this was going.
“That’s why Her Majesty made the decision to offer herself to you.”
“Okay, hold it right there!” I cut in, waving both hands in protest. “I understood the whole ‘we don’t have anything to give’ part, but how does that jump straight to ‘so have the Empress’?!”
“It’s simple,” Swinn replied, as if the logic were obvious. “If Amelia-sama, the Empress of Varcia, gives herself to you, then in effect, the entire Varcia Empire is being handed over. The two are inseparable.”
“This is madness… Even if I was fighting to protect the Varcia Empire, if the outcome is just handing it to me, that defeats the whole purpose, doesn’t it?!”
“That’s where trust comes in,” she said smoothly. “You’re not the type to abuse power, are you? Even if the entire nation were in your hands, we trust you wouldn’t run it like a despot.”
“Well, no… I mean, I wouldn’t even know what to do with a country in the first place, so I’d just leave things as they are…”
“Exactly. Which is why, in our eyes, even if we did give you the empire, it would continue on as Varcia, unchanged. That’s the conclusion we came to.”
Okay… so now I get how they arrived at that ridiculous logic. But still, this is way too much. And besides… I already have Saria and the others. I’m not alone anymore.
While I struggled to process Swinn’s surprisingly rational presentation of a totally unreasonable idea, Amelia, who had been growing impatient all along, suddenly interrupted.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake! What’s the problem?! You get me and the country! What more could you possibly want?!”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t bring myself to say ‘wow, lucky me!’ to something like that!”
I’m just a normal guy! A completely average citizen! Please stop expecting me to handle world-altering offers like it’s no big deal!
As I tried to hold onto what was left of my sanity, Amelia suddenly stopped scowling. Her brows lifted, her eyes sparkled, and her entire face lit up as if she’d just found a brilliant loophole in an impossible negotiation.
“That’s it!” she declared. “If just me isn’t enough, then I’ll throw in Helen, too!”
“Huh?!”
The synchronized shriek echoed through the room as Helen, who until now had managed to remain blissfully uninvolved, was suddenly dragged into the conversation.
“W-W-W-Wait! Oneechan, what did you just say?!” Helen’s voice cracked as she recoiled.
“There’s no helping it!” Amelia declared dramatically, her tone completely unapologetic. “This is for the good of the Varcia Empire!”
“Well, maybe, but still—!”
“If Helen’s not enough, then fine… Let’s throw in Leyll and Swinn, too!”
“M-Me, too?!” Leyll squeaked, blinking in alarm.
“Oof… she’s officially lost it,” Swinn muttered, her eyes going glassy as she stared off into the middle distance.
Helen and Leyll stood frozen, stunned by Amelia’s rapidly escalating madness, while Swinn seemed to mentally check out entirely. Meanwhile, I just stood there.
Can we please not ignore the guy who’s supposed to be receiving all these offers? This is exactly what I was afraid of. This… this right here was the terrible feeling I had earlier. And now it’s happening. Right in front of me. Which is why I wanted to leave in the first place!
Even as I stood mere steps away, the four women launched into a heated back-and-forth over who else could be “offered” to me, completely forgetting I was still in the room. I seriously started considering whether I could just quietly excuse myself and go back to my room.
Before I could act on that deeply tempting idea, a sudden knock echoed against the heavy wooden door of the office.
“What?!” Amelia snapped, clearly annoyed. “We’re busy in here!”
Despite her irritation, she allowed the visitor to enter. The door swung open, and a soldier hurried in, almost stumbling over his own feet.
“H-Her Majesty!” he gasped, breathless.
“What is it now?” Amelia frowned. “Why are you so worked up?”
“I-It’s the garden… Something’s happened to the garden! It’s a total disaster!”
What?
All of us exchanged puzzled glances. Without another word, we decided to head for the garden to find out what exactly had gone so horribly wrong.