Gyogyon had just gone down in what was, without exaggeration, the most incomprehensible way anyone had ever been defeated in history.
As we stood there, silently watching his twitching, tentacle-laden form crumpled on the ground, the voice of the announcer rang out once more.
>So, what did you think? We did our very best to make things entertaining for you, Seiichi-sama!
“Uh… yeah. Thanks.”
>The next time you encounter anything out of the ordinary, we’ll be sure to turn it into entertainment again!
“Uh… yeah.”
>With that, we now take our leave!
Still riding that high-strung tone, the announcer’s voice finally faded into silence, leaving me standing there like an NPC who’d only been coded with one response.
✦ ✦ ✦
Yeah… My brain officially couldn’t keep up anymore. I needed to mentally sort things out before I had a seizure from pure confusion.
Based on what the announcer said… it seemed Gyogyon never actually stole Lady Muu’s power. That was just his own delusion. The truth? He hadn’t taken anything at all. His so-called godhood was a flashy mirage.
All of that—every dramatic moment, every escalation—had apparently been orchestrated by this “omnipotent” something-or-other, just for the sake of entertainment.
Right. So… I have a few things I want to say about this.
First of all, this whole “omnipotence takes care of everything” business makes zero sense. Second, Gyogyon’s grand cosmic conquest ended in the most anticlimactic, off-screen punchline I’d ever witnessed. But more than anything else…
“In the end, he didn’t change at all.”
“That’s your takeaway?!” Al snapped instantly, deadpan.
I mean, the guy had put on all that ominous pressure, the dramatic speeches, the golden light show. With all that, you’d think something huge was going to happen. Instead, when the curtain rose, he was the same sad alien with too many arms and way too much ego.
And the whole time, he insisted he had changed. Transcended. Evolved.
“Honestly… it was kind of pitiful,” I muttered.
“Mhm… A little sad,” Origa agreed softly.
“He was our enemy, and he did say plenty of threatening crap,” Al added with a reluctant sigh, “but yeah, I gotta agree with Origa. He thought everything was going according to plan. Then, Seiichi showed up and nuked his entire plan from orbit without lifting a finger. Got turned into a literal stage gag. That’s a hell of a nightmare.”
“I have nothing to say in my defense!”
Al was right. If anything, I was starting to feel like the real villain here. Or at least, the final boss everyone was too scared to admit was on their side.
After all, imagine carefully laying out your grand plan, only for the whole thing to be consumed as entertainment for someone else’s amusement.
That was exactly what had just happened to Gyogyon.
As Al, Origa, and I tried to make sense of the chaos, Saria tilted her head, looking puzzled but thoughtful.
“But if he was trying to do something bad, then maybe he got what he deserved? I mean, if you go around doing things that would make you miserable, it’s weird to think no one would ever do them to you, right?”
There was a surprising clarity in her words, as if she’d struck a nerve of truth with a single, innocent sentence.
Because yeah, even if all that nonsense with Gyogyon was a waking nightmare from his perspective, if his plan had succeeded, we would’ve been the ones living through that nightmare instead. In the end, both sides were just trying to avoid being the victim.
“One thing’s for sure,” I said quietly. “Don’t do bad things.”
“Mhm. I’ll be good,” Origa declared, solemn as ever.
I reached over and gave her head a gentle pat, and was rewarded with her usual quiet calm.
Just as the scene was starting to wrap up with a strangely wholesome moral, Yaiba, who’d been frozen in place this whole time, suddenly marched up to me like a man possessed.
“No, this still doesn’t make any sense!”
“Huh?”
“In the first place, just what are you, Seiichi-dono?! One moment, a voice appears in my mind, and the next, the enemy collapses without a fight! Nothing makes any sense!”
“It’s okay.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t get it either.”
“That makes it worse, not better!”
Look, I’m not trying to be difficult. If I knew, I’d explain! But if something makes no sense, then it just… doesn’t. End of story!
“Ah, right. More importantly, Muu-sama.”
I turned to hand Lady Muu back to Tsukikage, who gently took her in her arms. Seeing that she was safe filled me with relief, but when I looked at the ninja’s face, I paused. Her expression was blank, completely unreadable.
Then, in a small, flat voice, she said, “The outside world is terrifying.”
“Tsukikage-san?”
She was trembling. Like she’d just returned from an alien horror movie.
I was the horror movie.
How?! How does a guy like me, a walking embodiment of mildness and civility, get mistaken for the scariest thing in the universe?
The sheer misunderstanding made me want to curl up and die.
And just as I started mentally spiraling, a sudden question crossed my mind.
“So what now? I mean, it looks like all our enemies, including Gyogyon, are down for the count.”
It was a fair question. The announcer’s parting words had been followed by Gyogyon succumbing to oxygen deprivation, and as it turned out, not just him. His entire fleet of alien ships had begun plummeting from the skies, crashing far beyond the borders of Eikyō.
In other words, aside from the strange towers still standing around the city, Eikyō had more or less returned to its original state.
Though even those towers, as it happened, had only existed to extract power from Lady Muu. And that had turned out to be nothing more than part of a staged performance. A mere set piece. Terrifying.
“Y-Yes, well, there’s certainly much to do,” Yaiba said, clearing his throat. “First, we’ll need to check on the citizens of Eikyō, confirm their safety. But whatever the outcome, the truth remains: we owe our survival to you, Seiichi-dono. To that end, please allow us to show our deepest gratitude. You are more than welcome to stay here in Eikyō as honored guests.”
The moment Yaiba said this, Saria’s eyes lit up like twin stars.
“You mean… we can go to the hot springs again?!”
“Of course,” he replied with a chuckle.
“Okay, and can we expect a full feast this time, too?”
“By all means! It would honor us if you’d experience the finest cuisine Eikyō has to offer.”
It looked like we were finally going to get to enjoy everything the Eastern Kingdom had promised, something we hadn’t exactly gotten to savor during our time in the Shadow Village.
Grinning with anticipation, we followed Yaiba and the others toward the towering castle at the heart of Eikyō, where we were to be welcomed in full.