The village was shockingly dingy. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected much from a goblin’s den. They guided me to what I supposed was the most structurally sound of the buildings. It had a thatched, pitted roof that was rotting away in areas, the walls bearing nothing but a few pieces of flat wood nailed to them. No slum I’d ever seen in my world could out-filth this one.
“I am sorry to keep you waiting, honored guest,” one of the goblins said as he entered. The leader of the expeditionary force I ran into earlier accompanied him.
“Oh, no need for that,” I said, flashing my salesman’s smile—or in this case, my slime smile. “Don’t worry about me. I haven’t been waiting for that long.”
Something about smiling at your conversational partner always did wonders to keep negotiations moving your way. Once you were aware of it, it was scary how well it worked. Not that I knew what we were negotiating yet.
“I apologize we cannot provide you more hospitality,” the goblin said as he brought out something resembling tea for me. “I am the elder of this village.”
Even goblins must have this stuff, I thought as I took a sip (well, technically, slid my way over the teacup, but same difference). I couldn’t detect any taste from it, which made sense, since I didn’t have that sense. That might have been for the better, for all I knew. My Analysis skills didn’t detect any poison, but reportedly it bore a bitter, acrid flavor.
It was good to see the goblins trying to play nice with me, though, so I made sure to politely drink it up.
Then I decided to get to the point. “So to what do I owe the favor?” I asked. “What made you decide to invite me over to your village?” This had to be more than monsters acting buddy-buddy with each other.
The village elder shivered a bit. Then, firming up his resolve, he turned to me.
“You have heard, I trust, that the monsters have been more active around here as of late?”
I had, on the way here.
“Our god has protected the peace in this land for generations, but about a month ago, he hid himself from us. That has allowed the nearby monsters to start meddling with our lands once more. We do not wish to let this continue, so we have fought back…but from a raw-power perspective, we face an uphill climb.”
Hmmm. Was he talking about Veldora? It would match time-wise. But if the goblins wanted my help…
“I understand you well enough, but I’m just a slime, so I’m not exactly sure I can provide the help you need…”
“Grah-ha-ha! Trust me, no need for modesty! It is no mere slime who can emit the mystical force you do! I cannot imagine why you are taking that form…but you have a name bestowed upon you, yes?”
Mystical…what? What’s that? I don’t remember busting anything like that out. I focused my Magic Sense on myself instead of my environs. Then I realized it. There was, in fact, some kind of ominous-looking aura covering my whole body. You’d think I would’ve noticed that in the midst of all the monster transformation and Body Armor malarkey, but it was too late now.
Whew. Talk about embarrassing. Here I am, exuding all this mystical stuff, and I didn’t even bother to say “excuse me.” I felt as if I were walking down the middle of Main Street, baring everything I had to the world. With all the magicules in the air over in the cave, I’d been completely oblivious.
This is bad! Really bad! But at least it explained how the monsters in the forest reacted to me before now. Not too many of them would have wanted to take on this hombre. No one was stupid enough to be fooled by appearances.
Well, might as well run with it.
“Hee-hee-hee… Impressive, elder. You noticed?”
“Of course, my friend! Even in the shape that you are, there is certainly no hiding the strength inside you!”
“Ah. Well, if you spotted me, then I guess you guys have a lot of promise!”
Now I’m diggin’ this! Let’s just pull the elder’s strings for a bit and talk my way out of trouble. At the same time, I tried to find a way to extinguish the mystical aura around me, futzing around with the surrounding magic to try to push it back in.
“Ohh… Were we being tested, perhaps? Then I certainly hope we are worthy. Many would be cowed to submission by such a force.”
By this time, my mystical whatever was mostly hidden. I was back to being just a regular old slime. Funny to think, though—earlier, if I had looked like any old slime on the street, would the entire forest have tried to kill me? That would’ve been a bummer.
“You’re right. Anyone willing to speak to me without being frightened by my mystic powers must be worthy indeed.”
Worthy how? I wondered to myself silently.
“Ha-ha! Thank you very much. I will refrain from asking you why you hide your true form…but I do have a request of you. Would you be willing to listen to it?”
About what I figured. Nobody would go up to a fearsome, hideous monster for no reason at all.
“It depends on what it is,” I said, trying to keep my swagger going. “But go ahead. State your business.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Here’s the rundown.
It turned out some newcomer monsters from the lands to the east had been pushing into the area, hoping to seize it for themselves. The area was home to several goblin villages, including this one, and even the small clashes so far had resulted in a large number of goblin deaths—including some named goblins.
One of these named creatures was the sort-of guardian of this village, and with his death, the value of keeping this village intact had declined dramatically.
The other goblin communities had largely abandoned this land. Their reasoning was that they could coerce the newcomers to attack this village, buying them time to come up with countermeasures of their own. The village elder and the leader of the expedition who greeted me had tried to reason with them but were coldly brushed away. The frustration was clear in their voices as the two of them explained.
“I see,” I replied. “So how many of you live in this village? And how many are battle ready?”
“We have approximately one hundred residents. Counting our womenfolk, about sixty of them are ready to fight.”
Doesn’t sound like much. Pretty smart goblins, though, if they’re keeping track that closely.
“All right. And what types and numbers are we talking about with the enemy?”
“They are direwolves, we believe—certainly wolflike in appearance. Under normal circumstances, it would have to be ten of us against one of them for us to have a fighting chance…but they appear to number around a hundred themselves.”
Huh? What kind of impossible game is this? I turned my eyes toward the village elder. He didn’t seem to be joking; his eyes were as sincere and dedicated as a goblin’s could get.
“So these goblin fighters took them on in such small numbers, even though they knew they couldn’t win?”
“…No. This information I told you… Those fighters risked their lives to obtain it.”
Oh. Might’ve been a rude question, there.
Upon further questioning, the named goblin they’d lost turned out to be both the elder’s son and the older brother of the scouting party. I spent a moment weighing the options, the elder falling silent as he awaited my decision. It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn there were tears in his eyes… I was probably just imagining it, though. Tears don’t go too well with monsters.
Better pump up the swagger, I figured. That’s how a feared monster should rightly act!
“Let’s get something straight, elder. If I help this village, what do I get in return? Do you even have anything to give?”
Not that I minded helping them out on a whim. But it took ten goblins to maybe beat one big dog or whatever, and they’d be facing a pack of a hundred. It wouldn’t be simple. I think a little black-snake action could take care of them…but I can’t just snap up this job without thinking a bit.
“We shall give you our allegiance! Please, grant us your guardianship. If you do, I promise we will swear our loyalty to you!”
Honestly, as gifts go, that’s not much. But after experiencing ninety days of silent solitude, even talking to goblins was kind of fun. The thought of saving this dive probably would’ve disgusted me back in my human days, but right now, I was a monster. No need to worry about falling in a puddle and picking up some infectious disease any longer.
Plus, those eyes on the elder. I could tell that he was truly relying on me to say the right thing.
I reflected on my past life. When someone asked me to do something, I always did it. Even if I bitched and moaned about it at first, even if the guys at the office yelled at me about it, I was never able to say no to my manager or clients.
“All right. Your request is granted!”
I nodded sagely. And that’s how I became the guardian of a goblin village.