Chapter 174

She could feel his warmth through her rear as she sat on him—her course of action led to a situation far more embarrassing than she could’ve predicted. “B-Brother—y-you, big friggin’…perv!!” “You’re the one who pushed me and covered my eyes, but I’m the perv?!” Barely able to maintain consciousness at this point, Shiro mustered up everything she had to yell at him again. “I—I just, can’t…! Brother…get away, from me!” “S-sure thing! I’ll get away from you ASAP!! I’m not sure how you expect me to move while you’re sitting on me, but I’ll figure it out!!” Wait a sec. The moment Sora moved away from her, he’d see…Shiro…naked—!! “…Actually…don’t, move!! C-close your eyes, and…go back, to the shower!” “I kinda need to move to get back to the shower, but okay, I get the picture!!” Sora covered his eyes while he blindly made his way back to the shower area behind the partition. Shiro watched and thought… I have no idea what I’m feeling. She was utterly clueless as to what was going on with her. But as always, the logical part of her brain answered in its usual merciless fashion. And rationally speaking, that answer was crystal clear. This…must be what love really feels like… It was why it never bothered her when her brother saw her in the nude before. It was why she could kiss him before, and she could say she loved him without a second thought. All because she’d never seen her brother as a potential lover… Will he be grossed out if I kiss him or if he sees me naked? If I’m pushy with him, will he think I’m weird? If I disappoint him, will he hate me? These interactions came easily to siblings…hence why such thoughts and anxieties had never occurred to her before. Yeah—I must’ve known for a while now… This was love. She was experiencing her first love. I know that. I know it! But— Whenever I saw my brother, I always calmed down. Whenever he patted me on the head, it made any bad feelings go away. Just burying my face into his chest was enough to make me fall asleep no matter where we were. Just hearing his voice was enough to make me feel happy. —But look at me now. Whenever I see him, I worry if he hates me. My heart won’t stop pounding when he touches me. Whenever I hear his voice, I’m afraid of what he’ll think about the way I feel. Is this what it means to be in love? This, of all things—?! …If this, is love… If this is, what…being lovers means, then—I don’t need it! I don’t want that!! I don’t want us to be…lovers!! Her emotions were screaming inside of her, but her logical side—responded rationally. Okay. So what are you going to do? I’ll just…keep being his, little sister!! I don’t…need all this…emotional baggage! Really? Are you sure being his sister is enough for you? Let’s think this through—let’s assume you can go back to being his little sister after learning what love feels like. Then what? What happens when he gets a girlfriend? Will you be happy for him as a little sister? …Nooo… No way!! I’d, hate that—!! She pictured her brother smiling and walking hand in hand with anybody else but her. I can’t take that. Never. Just imagining it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She felt the blood drain from her face and her legs go weak. If that’s what’s going to happen… …then I may as well destroy everything!! …Ugh… Anybody would hate…a girl like this… She couldn’t be his girlfriend, but she also couldn’t go back to being his little sister. I can’t…do any of this…! “Hic… Urgh… Wahhh… Ahhh…!” Shiro finally began wailing like the child she was. But then she felt a tight embrace… “I’m sorry, Shiro. I’ll be honest; I have no idea how you feel right now.” She could hear the strength and warmth in his voice as he suddenly hugged her. “I know it’s my fault. But I don’t know how it’s affecting you. So I know I can’t just go and tell you to calm down. One thing’s for sure, though—I can’t bear to watch you cry all by yourself while I sit here and do nothing.” —No, Brother… This isn’t your fault… “So just tell me what you need. I’ll do anything. Doesn’t matter if you want to yell at me or hit me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel better. I’ll change however you want me to if you’ll just forgive me. So please—don’t go crying all on your lonesome.” It’s not your fault… So why are you being so nice to me…? Why are you being so nice to a girl who’s acting this irrational? My chest hurts. I can hardly breathe. I’m scared. This would be easier if you just got mad at me…… His words only served to fuel her anxiety and confusion. She opened her eyes in search of an answer—but through her tears, she…realized something. It hit her suddenly—or calmly. She couldn’t quite tell either way. …Hey. Brother… I’m naked…y’know… Huh…? You’re hugging me while I’m naked, and that’s your reaction? You’re not even blushing or…anything…? Even though I’m so messed up? Th-that kind of—kind of… …pisses me the hell off… The next instant, Shiro felt the static clogging her mind dissipate. You know what…? You’re right, Brother… The reason I’m feeling this bad. The reason I’m so anxious. Why I’m scared. Why I’m crying. “…Yeah… This is allll your fault, Brother. ” As Shiro spoke, she started tapping her smartphone; she’d almost unconsciously brought the device into the bath with her. And a split second later—everything in view was obliterated, the scene now unrecognizable.