Suddenly, Makoto scolded us like a teacher would. We jumped and quickly turned around and saw her grinning. “Sorry, you guys just looked like you were having so much fun. What’re you guys playing? Smash?” she asked, very curiously looking at the screen.
With her skirt, there was no mistaking that she was a girl, but she acted so naturally like one of the guys that we were able to easily interact with her and accept her into our group.
We heard later that she wasn’t really getting along too well with her girl friends. Of course, on the surface, she had a group she was a part of and there didn’t seem to be any problems, and they would all seem fine with each other. But after she started hanging out with us, the time she spent with the girls lessened and that didn’t sit well with them.
“I have an older brother and I think because of that I started being more interested in guy things. Even in elementary school, the girls in my class were really into Precure, but the guys were into card games, and so was I. When we played dodgeball, I was the only girl that the guys actually tried to hit like I was one of them,” Makoto said one day.
I realized that she wasn’t really the type to fit into girl groups. That was why when we saw her looking more like a girl now that she was in high school, we got worried about her. We couldn’t help but wonder if she was doing okay. We worried that she might not have been able to find people like us to accept her and she was just lying about who she really was as a person in an attempt to fit in.
That was probably why our mini reunion was even more lively than it should’ve been. That might’ve been why I turned a blind eye to that idiot who brought alcohol. Though I couldn’t really remember, I felt like I wanted to bring Makoto back to how she used to be. That was why what happened after our mini reunion came like a sudden punch in the gut. The wound that should’ve been healed felt like it’d been gouged open once more.
“Kogure...” In front of the open school gates, Makoto slightly waved to me. “Hey.”
I walked to her, my hands in my pockets. “I’m really sorry about yesterday...about suddenly going off on you.”
“No, it’s okay. Your mind can go kinda crazy when you’re sick, right? But you should be more worried about the rumors. Have you heard? There’s no end to the dirty talk about you and Minami-san going off by yourselves,” Makoto said, chuckling.
But to me, it didn’t really seem like she was genuinely laughing. Eventually, her smile faded. “So...you have something you want to talk about?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re not asking me out, are you?”
“I’m not.”
“Right...” Her eyes fell to the side and then she turned around and she glanced back at the school gates. “It’s probably better to try to talk inside than the side of the street.”
“Is it okay to go inside?”
“What, so it was okay sneaking to the back of the dojo to play games, but now you’re scared of going back to the school you attended?” she asked, teasing me. “Just kidding. I got permission from a teacher. I told them I was feeling nostalgic and they laughed at me, saying it was just a year and a half ago.”
According to adults, the older you get, the faster the flow of time feels. I could believe that since a year in elementary school feels longer than how this past year felt. But even so, this past year and a half had felt so long. It had been a painful time for me and I could only imagine how lonely Makoto had felt.
“Okay. Let’s go, then. It’s not every day we get to do this, right?”
“Yeah, exactly.”
So we entered through the front gate of the school. Each step felt like we were walking deeper into a different world. Despite us going here essentially every day not so long ago, this didn’t feel like our world anymore. The time we spent here wouldn’t come back. But at the very least, we could get some glimpses into what it’d been like.
“It’s so nostalgic. Remember how we saw Shibayama-san’s panties on those stairs?”
“That’s the first thing you remember?”
“It was the first time I saw someone’s panties like that. It was really memorable to me. It was pretty fun how freaked out you guys got too.”
“It was awkward, especially with a girl next to us who was freaking out over seeing someone else’s panties.”
We had so many nostalgic stories. Every time we passed by somewhere we recognized, Makoto would remember something new. She talked about the sports festival; how I sucked at tennis; how one of our classmates, Sonoda-san, did something during science class. We passed by the school courtyard, the tennis court, the outdoor walkway, the stairs, the science classroom, the art room—all places we’d seen before—in order. I knew exactly where we’d stop. It was the place where we hung out the most: our old classroom, 3-2.
The soft light of the setting sun lay a thin veil over our old classroom. The blackboard and bulletin board had a different schedule than the one that we remembered. The blackboard in the back of the classroom had different doodles on it than when we were in it. The classroom we once knew had changed and now it was updated with traces of the kids that were currently in the class.
Makoto passed by all that and went to the window. As she opened it, a gust of wind blew in, blowing the curtain around her as if she were spreading her wings. It looked like she was being embraced by the summer wind. And then...
“Thanks for coming here with me,” she said, a little sadly, before looking back at me. “You said you wanted to talk, right? I’m ready. Go ahead whenever you’re ready.”
I looked at her face, filled with the determination to hear me out and knew that I couldn’t be roundabout with my words. That was why I just came right out and asked.
“Did you ask me out three days ago?”
This was a very strange question for me to ask and it looked like Makoto was on the verge of tears, but she still smiled back at me.
“I thought so... You don’t remember.”
“Yeah. I don’t even remember what happened during our mini reunion. But...you do, don’t you? You know why I don’t remember anything, right?” Makoto stayed silent. “I probably threw up and passed out after hearing you ask me out, didn’t I? I probably don’t remember anything from the shock.”
It’d explain why my clothes had gotten dirty and been put in the washing machine. This was probably what Irido had wanted me to notice from the hint he’d given me. After hearing Makoto ask me out, I had a strong allergic reaction and threw up on my clothes. That was why I’d taken off my clothes and why they’d been in the washing machine. It was to wash away the vomit. Knowing that, it made me remember something else—the stain on the carpet.
When I went to the living room, I noticed that there was a stain on the carpet. I was now certain that it was from my own vomit. Most likely, my phone had ended up there because I collapsed and it fell out of my pocket. That was the first “bee sting.”
In order to seal away the shock from it, I wiped that entire night from my memory. Later, I received a second “bee sting,” which sent my body’s allergic reaction into overdrive, causing me to create an entire delusion in which I was being attacked.
“Seeing how I reacted, you ran away at first, but then you came back to check on me the next day and came into my room, right?” I asked.
Makoto awkwardly looked away. Though she didn’t say anything, her reaction was enough of a confirmation.