Zzzp.
The tip of the wooden sword retreated back into the room. She’d given up, apparently.
Bam!
“Hey, are you trying to kill me?! If I miss a dodge once, I’m dead meat!”
The tip was at the spot where my head had been mere moments before.
“What’s going on?”
“Oh, it’s Orimura.”
“Ah, that must be your room, Orimura! Nice intel!”
Girls emerged from the rooms around me. All of them were wearing fluffy, pajama-like casual wear that was absolutely not designed to be seen by men. Some of them were only wearing long sweaters with neither a skirt nor pants underneath. A white triangle could be seen peeking out from underneath. Others were wearing a thin shirt with nothing else. Scantily clad girls were in all directions.
—Do girls really take off their underwear at every opportunity?
That seemed a little risky to me.
“Hey, Houki! Houki! Let me in! Come on! This is an emergency. I’ll apologize, okay? Please, please just let me in...” I said, prostrated on the floor in front of the door.
—Open the door, o my savior.
“.........”
There was only silence inside. At least the sword tip disappeared. I prayed there wouldn’t be a third stab attempt.
Dadum.
There was a long pause. Perhaps two or three minutes long, but it felt like an hour or more.
Creeeak.
“Come in.”
“O-Okay...”
Houki had opened the door in her kendo clothes. This must have been what she could put on the fastest. The belt was tied carelessly. She must have been in a hurry. Either way, I went inside.
—Wait a minute. Something’s off here.
“What?”
Gulp. She was staring at me.
—Sorry, nothing weird here at all!
Houki sat down on the bed.
“.........”
She frowned at me and tied her wet hair into a ponytail. She looked like herself again now. In terms of looks, at least.
“Are you really my roommate?”
“Y-Yeah. Looks like it.”
She was staring at me again. I wouldn’t have been surprised if her look could cut bamboo. Slash, slash.
“What’s the meaning of this?”
“Huh?”
“I said, what’s the meaning of this?! Girls and boys don’t share a bedroom past seven! It’s common knowledge!”
In the middle ages, sure. Then again, I also thought that 15-year-olds of the opposite sex shouldn’t be living together... Let alone sharing a room.
“D-D-Di...”
“Dee?”
“Did you request this? Being in my room?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
I always seemed to pick the dangerous option. I didn’t think I had, though. My response had disappointed her, otherwise the wooden sword wouldn’t have come flying at me.
“C-Careful!”
Close. Too close. I barely managed to catch the sword in-between my hands, which really hurt, because it was made of wood. The impact wasn’t going to kill me, though.
“Ridiculous? Ridiculous?! Blasphemy.”
Whoa, she looked really scary. Terrifying, even. Maybe “childhood friend” was actually the codename of some kind of assassin in a secretive organization? Houki was still putting pressure on the sword caught between my hands; the situation was real bad. It wasn’t a real sword, so it wouldn’t actually cut me, but it could still knock me out well enough. Perhaps it might even break my skull? Probably not.
“.........”
No, I take that back. I looked at the demon in front of me and knew that, even with a wooden sword, she could split me in two. Houki leaned down more and more, which increased the pressure to her sword until it collapsed, and she was suddenly on top of me.
“Whoa, Shinonono... So daring...”
“Don’t beat us to the punch...”
“We could share Orimura.”
Share? Share what? At least five girls were peeking in through the open door, but there were probably more out in the hallway.
“Wh-Wha...”
Houki jumped away from me immediately. Bless the lifesavers.
“Oh? Are you done already?”
“That was looking real steamy.”
Wow. High school girls these days were looking at the scene of an attempted murder thinking it “looked steamy.” I had to remember that. I resolved to send a text to Gotanda about it later.
“......!”
Houki chased the girls away without saying anything and locked the door. I suspected the scene of an attempted murder was going to lose the “attempted” part. She had to keep people from interfering, but what about her alibi? Wait. Maybe I was just too dumb to understand her master plan? She might have a really good one. Horrible. This was how people got killed. The world had gone to the dogs.
“Ichika...”
“Yes?”
I was free of all earthly attachments. My soul was free. Free like a bird.
“Why are you looking like that?”
“Hm?”
I wasn’t making any particular face.
“Whatever. We need to talk about this situation.”
Oh, she was debating how best to dispose of me.
—Listen, Houki. It doesn’t end with killing someone. There’s still a lot to be done afterwards. A corpse is 50 kilograms or more of protein and fat, not to mention the five-plus liters of blood. And let’s not forget about the bones. Bones begin to rot at an alarming speed. Everyone forgets that, right? But it’s pretty tough. It takes way too long to dispose of the bones individually after you’ve dismembered someone. That’s where the fridge comes in. In the fridge you...
“Are you listening, Ichika?”
“Wh-What? I’m not listening!”
“Who admits to that, you idiot?” Houki sighed.
Did I make a mistake again? I felt really guilty. Everything was so uncomfortable. Still, a man doesn’t run away.
“S-Sorry. Can you repeat that?”
I bowed in apology. It was the law of the world. Even if you weren’t sorry, if the other person was angry, you needed to apologize. That usually fixed it.
“L-Like I was saying. We need rules if we’re going to live here. Um... L-Lines that can’t be crossed, all right?” Houki mumbled, practically inaudible.
Why did she look so uncomfortable, anyway? Her cheeks were so pink. Was she sick?
“F-First we need to talk about the shower time. I need the shower from seven to eight. You can have it from eight to nine.”
“Eh? But I want it first.”
“A-Are you telling me to stay sweaty for an hour after my club?”
“Club? Your kendo club?”
“Y-Yes.”
“Don’t they have showers there?”
“I-I need my own shower or it freaks me out!”
—Well, fine. I guess any sane person prefers their own bathroom over the school’s.
“Wait a minute. We don’t have our own toilet, do we?”
“We don’t, but there are two on each floor at the ends of the hallways.”
“Is there... a toilet for the men?”
I had a vague suspicion. Like, the IS Academy have always had only girls in attendance, so why would they have needed toilets for men?
“.........”
“Erm, uh... So what do I do now?”
“H-How should I know?! Ask the teachers!”
“So then if push comes to shove, do I have to use the girls’ toilet?”
I felt her murderous stare, and pulled back. Houki reached for the wooden sword again and pointed it at my throat. I knew then and there that demons walked among us.
“Y-You developed some perverted tastes while we were apart! I’m disappointed!”
“What? Why, Houki?!”
“Because you want to go into the girls’ toilet! I should punish you here and now!”
“Like hell you will!”
I saw a bamboo sword among the luggage sitting in a corner; it was probably Houki’s, sticking out of her traveling bag.
—People always tell you to put it into a case, Houki...
It was probably going to break if I used it to block a wooden sword, but it was better than nothing to sit out her rage. I grabbed the bamboo sword and pulled it out of her bag.
—It got stuck on something. Let’s yank it.
Zzzmm.
“Nooo!”
I pulled the bamboo sword all the way out and went into a defensive stance, facing Houki.
“Huh?”
Houki’s mouth was twitching without moving or speaking. She looked as if she had seen a ghost.
“Huh? What is that?”
There was something hanging off the bamboo sword. It looked kind of like two triangles connected at the corners.
“G-Give that back!”
She snatched it away. The wooden sword now laid abandoned on the bed. Even more things were stuck to the bamboo sword, and Houki snatched that away as well, and hid it.
“.........”
She was glaring at me with her face beet red. Probably a cold. Oh! I connected the dots. I knew what I’d seen now. Yes, indeed...
“Houki.”
“Wh-What?”
Houki was using both her hands to shield those things from view, unable to attack. She was at a wary distance from me. I looked at her hands and saw white, pink, and light blue between her fingers.
“Oh, so you’re wearing a bra now.”
“Nnnngh!!”
Bam!
My head rang with pain.