“Grrr.”
“Hmph.”
Charlotte and Laura stared each other down across a table, the intensity of their stares more than making up for their lack of words.
“So, everything good? I can leave now?” Ichika tentatively asked. A quick piercing glare from each was enough to shut him up.
“You know, Laura, you’re just too selfish,” Charlotte said.
“Me? You’re talking down to me? After your whole act where you dressed up in drag to sleep wi—sleep in Ichika’s room?”
The silence was over. A war of words—with mutually-assured destruction—had begun. The battlefield was the IS Academy dining hall. Whispers spread like wildfire around the other tables.
“Full mobilization in the battle for Orimura, huh.”
“The cold war’s gone hot.”
“I’m surprised that the two who always seemed to get along are the first to really get into it.”
“Orimura the friendship destroyer.”
Ichika couldn’t stand it anymore, and stood up.
“Hey, wait, Ichika!”
“Where do you think you’re going?!”
He sighed before firing back, “Just chill for a second, okay?”
Charlotte and Laura were both taken aback by his sudden forcefulness, but as he strode off toward the kitchen to talk with the lunch lady, they began to argue again.
“See? You made him mad, Laura!”
“What are you talking about? It’s because you wouldn’t listen to him!” The battle was joined again. As it raged on, Ichika returned with dessert.
“Why don’t you two make up over this?” In his hands was a huge parfait, with two spoons stuck in it. “Orimura Ichika’s miracle jumbo parfait!”
It was probably too much for just the two of them, honestly. Heaping portions of fresh fruit and a mountain of whipped cream. Chocolate sauce and strawberry jam. A total calorie bomb. Yet sweet enough for neither of them to care.
“Have some. It’ll cheer you up,” he urged. Somehow, this was less than convincing.
“Nah.”
“I don’t want any.”
Charlotte and Laura turned their noses up in indignation.
As Ichika sighed, wondering how he was going to deal with this, Cecilia passed by.
“Oh dear, Ichika. What seems to be the matter?” She was completely oblivious to what was going on. Which gave him an idea...
“Cecilia, have this parfait.”
“E-Eh? But I’m on a diet right now...” She shied away from the gigantic confection, but Ichika knew just how to cajole her. It just took a bit of sweet talk.
“Huh, I don’t think you need to be on a diet,” he said. “Nothing wrong with some curves. Plus, I’ll feed it to you.”
Scooping up some whipped cream in a spoon, he raised it to Cecilia’s mouth. A silvered tongue, an imposing presence, and special attention. The three ways to a maiden’s heart.
“Very well, then!” As Cecilia’s lips wrapped around the spoon, Laura and Charlotte’s eyes narrowed.
“Charl and Laura don’t seem to want any, so I guess it’s all yours. Say ‘ahh!’”
“Ahh...” Cecilia was obviously enjoying this, and kept on eating.
“Hey, hold on a—” As Charlotte started to object, Ling passed by too, and completely drowned her out.
“Hold it right there! What are you two doing?! This is public indecency right here!”
Ichika lifted a spoon to her as well. “Say ‘ahh.’”
“Mmn... Glm.”
“How is it?”
“Ehh.” It was so sudden that Ling barely even tasted it. But she was beginning to appreciate this more assertive side of Ichika. “I want some of that apple.”
“Sure, fine.”
Ling pulled a slice of apple from the parfait and bit down.
“I suppose I’ll try the kiwi, then,” Cecilia said.
“Okay.” Ling and Cecilia, with Ichika’s help, were making short work of the fruit in the parfait. All Charlotte and Laura could do was look on, green with envy, as the corners of their lips became embarrassingly moist.
“Ugh...”
Still, though, neither was willing to show weakness in front of their rival. It was almost like Ichika was making a show of things to tease them for their stubbornness.
“Here, Ling. Try some of the pineapple,” Ichika said.
“Mm. I guess.”
“Cecilia, the chocolate whipped cream is excellent.”
“Of course! Thank you.”
And then, the parfait was gone.
“That was great.”
“I simply must return the favor sometime.”
Ling and Cecilia got in their last few moments of basking in the attention before leaving with self-satisfied grins.
“I should head back to my room, too.” Ichika snuck a final glance at Charlotte and Laura.
“Ichika, you...”
“Me, what?”
“You idiot!”
Twin punches to the gut. And they fled while he was still writhing in pain.
“Well... I guess I at least... Got them back on the same page...”
With a thud, he crumpled to the ground.