“Thank you for your trouble, Orimura Chifuyu.”
“But of course.”
She was even shorter than Ling, even flatter than Ling, with a baby face which made her look even younger than she was, but wrapped in an extravagant dress. Her poise and air were every inch as regal as a queen’s, but her cheeky grin gave Ichika the impression that she’d be even more of a handful than Ling was.
This is not good. Not good at all!
For just a moment, their eyes met. He tried to tear his away, but it was too late.
“You there!” Her finger pointed straight toward him. “Orimura Ichika, am I correct?”
“Err... Yes?”
“Ufufu. You shall be my attendant. Bask in the glory.” Her lips wrapped back in a self-satisfied smirk.
“Ugh, I just knew this was going to happen.” Ichika slumped back in his chair.
“Wait, what’s going on here?!” The rest of the cadets seemed just as displeased with how things were going as he did.
“You heard Her Royal Highness. I expect you to be a perfect gentleman.”
The message was clear. This was his problem. And thus began a new trimester sure to be even messier than the last.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Ugh, a butler outfit? Again?!” I couldn’t imagine being any more embarrassed. And it wasn’t even temporary like last time. The royal command was that, if I was wearing anything, it had better be that or pajamas. “I don’t care if she really is a princess, this is...”
A glare from one of the suit-clad maids cut me off before he could even finish with ‘going too far.’
“It is as Her Royal Highness commands.”
“Uh, okay...”
Their leader, a woman with a standoffish attitude accentuated by her low-bridged round glasses, had an especial talent for throwing daggers with her eyes that could cut through steel.
“Er, Florence? Can I at least go to class now?”
“No objections!” She was standoffish, or more just completely unapproachable. “The Imperial Knight will be arriving in Japan today. I expect you to greet her.”
“O-Okay.” And right now, those metaphorical daggers had me metaphorically pinned to the wall. First princesses, now knights? This is getting more and more absurd. What the hell is going on with my life? Ahh, hell, who am I kidding? Who else would even be able to figure this out?
“Garde à vous!”
Backs stiffened all around me as a clear, intense voice rang out like a bell. Even I couldn’t help but straighten up in response. That was how intense her voice was. A bright flash filled my vision, like lightning I heard rather than saw. I wasn’t sure which way I’d look if I heard her in one ear and a lion’s roar in the other.
“Her Royal Highness desires a promenade. Of course, the companionship of one of you will be necessary.” Her hair was long and straight, and in lieu of the others’ suits she wore a brigandine and an épée at her hip as if she’d stepped straight off the set of a period drama. “Very well. Orimura Ichika!”
“Yes, ma’am!” She had an ice-cold beauty about her as she pointed at me.
“She’s chosen you. I expect you to be on your best behavior.”
“Understood! But, er, who are you?”
“Imperial Knight Djibril Emmuler. Any other questions?”
“No, ma’am!” She was taller than I was, and I stretched out as much as I could as I answered. And as I did, she whispered in my ear.
“You understand what will happen if any misfortune befalls the princess, correct?”
“Y-Yes! I will protect her with my life!”
“Exactly what I wanted to hear. Dismissed!”
We split off. The maids and the Knight going one way while I went the other. Still wondering what the hell was going on, I made my way to the special guest room in the dorms.
✦ ✦ ✦
As he did, the usual crew watched from behind.
“They’re working him like a slave.”
“Indeed! I’m jealous, er, I mean, that’s unforgivable!”
“He’s just a magnet for trouble.”
“Maybe he has a talent for it?”
“Well, I’m not sure I’d call that a talent.”
“More a curse...”
None of them were quite satisfied that they’d gotten the last word in that exchange.
“Looks like we have to tail him.” At least, that was Ling’s idea. A spy thriller off school grounds was appealing to them all, though.
“Let’s try not to be spotted.”
“Yeah.”
Their whispers were no less enthusiastic for their muted volume. No one suspected that disaster was about to strike.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Jeez...” Keeping up with Princess Iris was absolutely exhausting for Ichika. Regal airs or no, she was kind of a selfish little brat.
“Ichika! I want something to read. Go buy me some manga.”
“Ichika, I want ice cream. Go buy me some.”
“Ichika, rub my shoulders.”
“Ichika.”
“Ichika!”
“I-chi-ka!”
He could hear it echoing in his head even when she wasn’t with him, and the echoes were beginning to give him a migraine.
“What will it be today?” he sighed as he stepped back into the room and Iris sat up in bed.
“There you are, Ichika. My legs are tired. Massage them.”
“Very well.”
She sidled over in bed, casually sliding her legs off the side. They were lithe like a girl’s, with smooth, smooth skin. Not really thinking, he began the massage.
“.........”
“What’s wrong? You’re so quiet today.”
“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking, you have pretty legs.”
For Ichika, it was just a casual observation, but Iris’s face turned bright red.
“H-How rude! Of course they are! Hmph!” As if it just now occurred to her that he was a guy, Iris tugged her legs back and tucked them under herself.
Ichika didn’t really get why she’d do so.
“Jeez, and I was just complimenting you...” he shrugged.
“Rude and lewd!” He couldn’t help but laugh at how it reminded him of Houki. But if anything, it frustrated Iris even more.
“What are you laughing about?! How insolent! Off with your head!”
“Please, no.”
This exchange had become a refrain between the two of them, evidence of how they’d grown to know each other over the past week.
“Anyway, Ichika. I want some clothes.”
“But you already have plenty of dresses?”
“Not like that! I mean, something like... Like... Find me this!”
Looking at the fashion magazine spread open on her bed which she pointed to, Ichika realized what she meant.
“So something like a normal girl would wear?” he questioned.
“Y-Yes! I need to know how the hoi polloi live! It is my duty as a ruler!” She shook with tension as she tried, and mostly failed, to puff out what passed for a chest.
“And? What will you wear when we go out?”
“W-Well, I’ve been thinking—and while I’m sure it will be impossible to hide my regal aura—but an IS Academy uniform should make me blend in well enough.”
“Understood.”
She had prepared in advance for this eventuality, and already arranged for an IS Academy uniform. Apparently, she really did want to go shopping.
“Anyway, I’ll wait in the hall while you change.”
As he began to step out, words he’d never expected stopped him.
“No. I’d like your assistance. And I’m sure you wouldn’t mind.”
“Are you sure?!” Even if she was flat as a board, it would be awkward seeing her in her underwear. But shooting her down would make things even more awkward between them, so he went along as if it were completely natural. “Very well. I’ll assist you.”
“Hmph.”
“......?”
Iris, apparently displeased with that answer, puffed her cheeks out. “Enough! I can change myself!”
“Huh? Very well. Understood.”
“Get out of here, you idiot!” She shoved Ichika out into the hall, where all he could do was be relieved that he’d survived that ordeal.