“Why, they’re adorable!” Cecilia smiled happily at the circle of dogs around her. It was a mass of tiny, cute little things—Dachshunds, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas, Papillons, Yorkies, and more, all yapping energetically.
Meanwhile, Ichika...
“Grrrrrr...” Growls arose from the Dobermans, Siberian Huskies, and other hounds around him.
“Ugh, I guess I’m just one of those people who animals don’t like.” He sighed.
As he did, Cecilia took his hand. “Don’t worry. You just need to convince them that you’re their friend. See, like this.”
Cecilia reached out a hand to scratch a husky under its chin, and the growling immediately stopped.
“Wow.”
“Hahaha. All it takes is a kind heart.” Cecilia smiled.
Meanwhile, Ichika was reminded of something. “Isn’t there some old English saying about getting a dog after you get married?”
“No, it’s after you have children.” Just the mention made Cecilia’s cheeks flush red and left Ichika at a loss for words.
“Oh, huh. Ahahaha.”
“Funny, isn’t it.”
Gazes from the brush nearby watched their afternoon get better and better.
✦ ✦ ✦
“What do we do?! They’re having a great time!” Ling stomped her feet.
“What am I supposed to do about that?” Houki was beginning to lose hope.
“The costumes were a failure.” Charlotte sighed as she pulled off her Dobonta mask.
“That’s okay. At least it was fun.” Laura stood, her arms crossed.
“Our next plan is...” Kanzashi excitedly opened a projection display in midair.
“This is—!” The others gasped.
“I call it the ‘Haunted House Horror Holler Hour’!” Okay, maybe the name was a bit iffy.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Why don’t we have something for lunch?”
“Of course! Actually, I made something and brought it with me.”
For a moment, Ichika thought they’d have too much, but he decided to keep this thought to himself. Instead, he pulled out his own lunch sack.
“So did I, actually. Why don’t we trade?” As he did, he winced. His lunch was a loaf of French bread hollowed out and filled with tuna salad and onions. It was sliced into discs, sort of like a Westernized sushi roll. That much was fine. The problem was the ‘French’ part. “...You know what, actually, why don’t we just have our own.”
He belatedly tried to retract the offer, but Cecilia just chucked.
“Too late now, tee-hee.” She swiftly snatched the wrapped loaf from his hands.
“And you can have this.” It was replaced with a delicious-looking rice ball.
Ichika couldn’t argue with that smile, and he sat down to eat. “I made tea, too. Though yours is probably better.”
“I brought green tea! Perhaps we could trade those as well.” Cecilia pulled out a bottle and handed it to him.
“Let’s eat.”
“Yes, let’s eat.”
They bit into their lunches.
“Mmm! This is great!” The rice ball was perfectly salted, and the savory flavor of its seaweed wrapper filled Ichika’s mouth, along with the tart sweetness of first-rate Kii Province umeboshi. With ingredients like that, it had to be good.
“Yours is quite nice, too.” Cecilia seemed to be satisfied with the ersatz Western sushi roll. The onion added a bit of tanginess to the tuna salad, and he’d made it with imported mayo, which uses whole eggs, rather than Japanese mayo which uses only yolks, to make sure that it wasn’t too heavy. “Oh dear, Ichika. You have some rice on you.”
“Huh, where?”
“Right here.” Cecilia stretched out her fingers and plucked it from his cheek before popping it into her own mouth. It was enough to make the people around them jealous. Especially the cluster of Dobontas.
“What the hell! Ichika’s never that nice with me!” Ling cried out.
“Me either!” Houki chimed in.
“He’s being way too lovey-dovey,” whined Charlotte.
“Unforgivable. I should end them where they stand,” Laura said, as she resisted the urge to reveal herself.
“I think I remember a scene like this from an anime...” muttered Kanzashi. You could almost see the rage emanating from them, even through the costumes.
As they glowered, Tatenashi, in a new disguise, approached Ichika and Cecilia.
“Hi there, you two! Did you know? We’re giving away free tickets to the haunted house for couples today! Here you go!” Tatenashi forcibly pressed the tickets into their hands before leaving again.
That, at least, earned a thumbs-up from the Dobontas.
“Now, just what should we have waiting for them,” Ling asked, her eyes gleaming and an indomitable grin—like that of a certain third-generation gentleman thief—plastered across her face.
✦ ✦ ✦
“So this is the haunted house?” Cecilia asked. The name aside, it had become the fashion to have more than just a spooky old building. Cobwebs and creaky stairs were so out of date. And D-Land was no exception.
“Is it just my imagination, or is like no one else here?”
Tatenashi had done a very good job clearing out the other park attendees, but Ichika and Cecilia had no reason to know that. As for the haunted house, it was done up like an abandoned hospital. Even the outside looked foreboding.
“So I suppose we go in?”
“Hm? You’re not scared or anything, Cecilia?”
“Of course not. Anything I can shoot, I can handle. They’ll need more than zombies or whatever to scare me.” Cecilia formed her hand into the shape of a gun. It wasn’t particularly girlish, but it was appealing in its own right.
“So you’re okay with horror stuff?” Ichika tried to think of who would be scared by it, and could only come up with Tatenashi. For all the airs she put on, she definitely couldn’t deal with this kind of thing. Not really who you’d expect, now that I think of it. As he stifled a laugh, Cecilia frowned at him.
“Why, Ichika! Are you thinking of other girls?”
“Well, uhh...”
Ichika tried to play it off, but Cecilia just chuckled and led him by his hand.
“Well, I don’t know who just had your imagination right now, but I’ve had your hand all day so I suppose I can’t complain.”
“If that’s all it takes to make you happy.” Ichika laughed, too. Meanwhile, the six watching from the shadows were almost ready to explode.
“Ichika, you... You twerp!”
“I can’t. I just can’t. I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill him and dump the body in the ocean.”
“Ichika, you philanderer!”
“We’ll use him for target practice. Target practice is completely legal.”
“No more, Ichika! No more...!”
“You really hate to see Ichika like that, don’t you. Especially lately.” Tatenashi was fishing for agreement, and she got it with a round of nods.
“Anyway, let’s drag them to the very pits of terror! Ahaha, ahahahahaha!” At the signal of Ling’s maniacal laughter, they took up their positions.
✦ ✦ ✦
“It’s rather dim in here.” Cecilia was still holding Ichika’s hand.
“Watch your step.”
“Of course. I’ll be fine.” Cecilia was, after all, a proud sniper.
Suddenly, a mummy wrapped in bandages leapt out at them. ...A mummy with a bokken.
“Roarrrrrrr!” It swung its wooden blade to and fro as it approached, creating an atmosphere that was less spooky and more just plain terrifying. Realizing the danger they were in, Ichika and Cecilia fled to the next room.
“Awooooooo!” A person in a wolf’s skin suddenly leapt onto Ichika’s back. And immediately bit his head. The ceramic fangs cut into his scalp.
“Oww!”
“What on Earth are you doing?!” Cecilia quickly pulled the wolfman (?) off him with a judo throw, only for it to leap off the wall and back at her.
“Awoooooooooooooo!” I’m gonna kill you, Cecilia! I’ll kill you, and then I won’t have to pay you back! Ling had fallen into the habit of forgetting her wallet when she went out, and was quickly racking up quite the debt. Not that she couldn’t pay it. National cadets were given a stipend that was more than decent. Ling just had the bad habit of forgetting her wallet. Back in middle school, she’d done the same thing with Ichika.
“Let’s get out of here, Ichika!” Cecilia yelled.
“Y-Yeah!” Ichika fled the room, hand in hand with Cecilia, only to encounter a chainsaw-wielding giant in the hallway with a familiar-looking mask. The growl of the chainsaw engine was scary all on its own.
Let’s go, Laura!
Got it!
Inside the costume, Laura rode on Charlotte’s shoulders.
Rrrrrrrrrr! The chainsaw’s low-pitched mechanical roar echoed off the walls, but Cecilia didn’t flinch at all.
“How rude.”
Bang! A gunshot rang out.
“Wait, Cecilia! You brought a gun?!”
Bang! Bang! Cecilia smiled as the shots rang out.
“Only something small for self-defense.” The 9mm Browning Hi-Power, as issued to 007, may or may not have actually been ‘small’ or ‘for self-defense.’ But who was going to argue, when it was in her hand?
“Ohoho.” Cecilia grinned as she opened fire, to Ichika’s nervous surprise.
Laura! Let’s get out of here!
No! The punishment for cowardice in the face of the enemy is death by firing squad!
As they squabbled inside the suit, they fell to the floor with a thud.
“Well, that’s settled. Now let’s get out of here.”
“Uh, okay.”