“Oh, what’s this?! I’ve stumbled upon a girl being attacked by ruffians. I must save her!”
Reiko rushed up from ahead, equally deadpan.
“Huh...?”
The three realized they’d exposed themselves to the person they were tailing under a massive misunderstanding and panicked even more. Well, the part about them tailing me wasn’t a misunderstanding.
A girl “happened to be” walking by and had witnessed the whole thing, the misinterpretation included. The three men glanced back to find the dogs that’d been chasing them had disappeared. Relieved, they stopped and exchanged looks, unsure of what to do.
“Attacking a lady at night? You fiends! I’ll cut you down!” Falsetto said, her delivery suspiciously smooth, as if she’d rehearsed the line. I’d heard writers practiced their signatures before writing their novels, so maybe she’d drilled on heroic one-liners during training.
The three men stood there like deer in the headlights. They knew they wouldn’t get another chance to figure out my identity or track down my home if they lost me now, so they couldn’t flee. But they’d been exposed, were forbidden from attacking me, and two “unrelated” witnesses had appeared, interpreting the situation in the worst possible way for them.
Tough spot, huh...
I didn’t plan to capture and interrogate them or anything. Not only did I know who their client was, but I had their name and address too. I’d just been at their place, after all.
So, there was simply no need to question these men. A group of men had stalked a girl walking at night and tried to attack her, and were then punished by random passersby. Yup, there was nothing odd about it; just a normal occurrence.
“Your Majesty, I have urgent news!” the Minister of Finance said, bursting into the king’s office without knocking.
“What? What are you— N-No, it can’t be!” the king said, turning pale as realization dawned on him.
“Indeed, it’s about the free priestess!” the minister said, confirming the king’s fears. “The priestess, like the prior Angel, has been aiding the city’s sick and injured with Tears of the Goddess, as recorded in many religious texts. Word of her activities has been spreading among the commoners...”
“That’s all? You scared me...” The king, fearing a continent-sinking catastrophe, sighed in relief. “That’s good for the people... No, that means word of a new Angel will spread among the commoners, then reach the nobles and merchants. We must act fast to avoid trouble. Well done catching this news early!”
The minister ignored the praise and continued, “And some tried to scam Tears of the Goddess from her, spreading false information to get in contact.”
“Guh...”
“Then, after tricking her out of the Tears, they tailed her to uncover her identity and home, engaging her guards...”
“AAAAAAH!”
“Naturally, they were wiped out instantly and thrown into jail at the guard headquarters...”
“Urgh... A-And the free priestess?!”
“She’s perfectly safe. Not a finger was laid on her.”
“Th-Then...”
“Indeed, the Goddess’s beloved child was unharmed, and merely punished some fools. Which means...”
Color was returning to the king’s face at the minister’s explanation.
“So, she fulfilled her duty, struck down the villains, and is likely feeling rather satisfied...” the king mused.
“Yes, that is highly probable. Meaning...”
“The Goddess isn’t displeased!” they said in sync.
“What a relief... And thank goodness for those two hunters guarding her. Once their guard contract ends, I’ll reward them and offer knight apprenticeships if they wish,” the king said.
“They will likely decline the apprenticeship offer,” the minister pointed out. “One is an Einherjar, the other a rising star hunter. After all, skilled hunters...”
“Never give up their dreams and freedom!” they synced again.
“Ha ha...”
“Ha ha ha ha!” the king and minister laughed together.
“So, about those fraudsters...”
“We mustn’t ruin the priestess’s fun!”
“Oh... Right, absolutely...”
And so, they decided to stay out of it entirely.
“We’ve obtained the rough details on the noble who posted the Tears of the Goddess request,” the leader of the Eyes of the Goddess’s intelligence team reported.
“You may speak,” I said.
I’d usually say something like “What’s up?” but they loved it when I played the lofty goddess. They’d been working for free, so the least I could do was meet their expectations with some fan service.
I didn’t offer them only words, of course. I rewarded their good work with potions—not on the level of Tears of the Goddess, but strong ones—or amulets that contained real Tears, which could be bitten in a pinch to release the potion. They’d never accept cash from me, but they gleefully accepted such gifts...though they’d say my presents were too precious to use, and they planned to cherish them as heirlooms.
Use them! It’d be pointless if you died and let them go to waste! I bet you’re the type to hoard elixirs without ever using them!
For lesser accomplishments, I gave them snacks or liquor from Earth. I’d recreated them as potions and had them crafted on Kyoko’s mothership, or otherwise cooked them myself with local ingredients. Back in our old lives, Reiko and Kyoko had been worse cooks than me, but they’d surpassed me by now. They said it was because they’d spent many years as housewives...
Damn it...
Anyway, what mattered now was the report.
“The request was sent by Earl Vorrel,” the leader said.
“Hm? Wait, I’ve heard that name before...” I said.
“It’s the noble who posted the unicorn horn request,” Reiko chimed in.
“Ah...”
Come to think of it, we’d held a meeting about which high-difficulty job to take on. His name had come up as a reputable noble who wouldn’t default on the payment.
“He seemed like an ordinary noble without any red flags...but he’s targeted us twice; first with the unicorn horn thing, and now the Tears of the Goddess...” I said.
“No, we were the ones who chose to accept the unicorn horn request he put out. I don’t think he was deliberately targeting us,” Reiko replied.
“Oh...”
She was right. The only reason we’d accepted it was because we just happened to have a horn on hand. There was no way we’d go hunting unicorns if we didn’t even know where they were. We’d snagged it during a KKR material-gathering tour on another continent via Kyoko’s shuttle. It had been a little bonding trip for us.
“As for Earl Vorrel’s situation...” the leader continued, ignoring my chat with Reiko, likely because the answer was in the report. “His daughter has a rare disease. He’s spared no expense hiring doctors and apothecaries, as well as gathering all sorts of herbs and medicine. Longevity Medicine has no effect. A unicorn horn, bought at great cost, also did nothing. As a last resort, he offered a huge reward for the Tears of the Goddess. By some miracle, he was able to obtain one...but when given to his daughter, it caused endless diarrhea, drastically worsening her situation. The seller of the fake Tears was caught and locked in the mansion’s dungeon. If the daughter doesn’t make it, those swindlers won’t have a peaceful death...”
“G...” I croaked.
“Huh?”
“GYAAAAAAH!!! Reiko, emergency sortie! Kyoko, you hold the fort! Take me to that earl’s house, now! Hurry, let’s go!”
The Eyes of the Goddess leader immediately grasped the situation and sprinted off, me and Reiko following right after. We needed Reiko’s magic to barge into a noble’s house unannounced, not my potion powers.
“Huh? Wait, what’s going on?”