Sousuke didn’t even have the presence of mind to comfort Tessa, who was clearly feeling despondent, on their way back from Yamsk-11. Kaname turned her back on us, he reflected. And Kurz is...
Tessa would be rebuking herself over both of them. My mistake. My incompetence. If only I’d had more foresight... Even though there was nothing she could have done.
Tessa never blamed anyone else in times of tragedy, only herself. Her intelligence and good-heartedness only made it worse. What can you say to someone like that? Sousuke wondered, as the helicopter’s crew prepared her a tranquilizer. Tessa initially refused it, but staying with her and forcing her to take the medication was the best Sousuke could manage to do.
Lemon was severely depleted, but would probably pull through. The crew had finally been able to give him proper first aid, and he’d been fast asleep ever since.
While holding Tessa’s hand as she struggled with nightmares, Sousuke thought over many things: the omni-sphere; the accident eighteen years ago; the Whispered, and the Whispering; the world, which had gone off the rails; and finally, Chidori Kaname, who was now the key to all of the above problems...
He couldn’t even begin to think of how to go about solving them.
He thought next of Kurz, and could only remember Kaspar, the enemy sniper, with blood spurting from his chest as he died. He’d checked the estimated distance on a digital map later, and found that Kurz made the shot from a distance of about 1650 meters. From what little Sousuke knew about sniping, he knew well that this had been an insane distance for any sniper to have pulled off a shot. It had to have been the greatest shot of Kurz’s life, and his willingness to put his life into that shot had saved Sousuke and the others.
A person’s death is a part of their life. That’s what Sousuke had said to Leonard back there in the darkness. To think he’d be reminded of it so soon afterwards...
They returned to the Tuatha de Danaan, which was heading to the Pacific via a southerly route, some 54 hours after their escape from Yamsk-11. The crew there seemed to be under a pall, having already heard the news.
Clouseau had already returned, and without any criticism, said, “Well done; now rest.”
Mardukas, similarly, had just said, “I’m glad you’re back. Don’t worry about the captain.” They were all used to losing friends, too, and could just leave Tessa to handle her grief in her own fashion.
Then he’d met with Mao in the briefing room, where they’d spoken without anybody else around. At first, she listened to his explanation with an air of total calm. Once he was finished, she let out a sigh, and whispered, “Well, I guess that’s just how it is.” After a long silence, she then said, “Did he tell you? About us...”
“Yes,” Sousuke responded simply.
“I see... Well, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing,” Mao said. “Pretty casual. No big deal.”
“I see.”
“It was just a fling,” she went on. “Not even a good fling. Just stress relief, really. We weren’t serious about each other, and we knew things like this could happen, so I really should’ve kept my distance. Yeah...”
This was very different from what he and Tessa had heard about it, which just made it even more painful for Sousuke. “Mao,” he started to say.
“I really wasn’t all that into him,” she rushed to say, cutting Sousuke off. “He’s six years younger than me, you know? He was an idiot, a womanizer, and a playboy... we were just messing around. Yeah...”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that,” Mao ordered. She must have reached her limit, because she turned her eyes downward, put her arms around Sousuke, and whispered softly, “It’s not your fault. He’s just an idiot, that’s all.”
“Mao...”
“He was so stupid,” she sniffed. “But I really liked him...”
“I know.”
“Don’t you go dying on me, please.”
“I won’t.” Her tears soaked into Sousuke’s shoulder as she trembled and wailed and choked with uncontrollable emotion. Her weeping echoed in his ears. He couldn’t say anything else. All he could do was hold her.
He wasn’t sad. He was used to it.
But... am I really? Sousuke wondered. He’d learned a bit about how to smile. But he still didn’t know how to cry. When will an imperfect person like me be able to tremble and weep? he thought regretfully.
Then he thought, Chidori, why aren’t you here? If I were with you... If I were in your arms, I think maybe I could cry.
●
All these flights aren’t so bad, Kaname thought, sinking deeply into a chair in the jet’s business cabin. Surrounded by burly bodyguards and loyal attendants, she enjoyed her high-class meal and watched her favorite movies. It had been a very long time since she’d felt so relaxed. How long has it been? she wondered. She couldn’t really tell.
Sousuke and Tessa were dead. She’d heard Kurz Weber was dead, too. Poor things, she thought distantly. But it’s their own fault for forcing us into conflict. They could have just sat back and left everything to me; then, everything would get better. They didn’t even have to worry. They could have just taken it easy.
“Ms. Chidori. Do you need anything else?” asked Sabina Rechnio, from the back of the cabin. She’d previously been off on an errand in South America, but they’d met up with her after transferring to the business jet.
“Hmm, not in particular,” Kaname mused. “But... oh, I’d love a long soak in a bath.”
“We can’t do that on a plane, of course,” Sabina replied. “But I can have one prepared the moment we arrive.”
“Oh, then a hot spring would be nice.”
“Hot spring?” Sabina repeated.
“Hot spring,” Kaname told her firmly. “I’m going to take it easy there until the preparations are complete. A big, open-air bath... It would be great to go in with everyone and have some fun. Actually, it’s been a long time since I went to a hot spring...”
Memories of fun times welled up in her mind; it was a nostalgic image, a memory of a time she’d fully enjoyed, despite her nerves. When was the last time I went to a hot spring, again? she wondered. And who did I go with? Who had proposed the idea, and who had been in on the fun? She came to again as she felt the blood go rushing to her cheeks, and noticed hot liquid pouring from her eyes. She found it so strange, when tears were so pointless now...