“What do you mean, ‘what kind’?”
“I want to know what he meant to you, sister.”
“Ide was a friend who played with me every single day this past year. And he was also the first vassal of the Sovereign Queen Lorde. He was the first one to go beyond being a mere collaborator and follow me, even though I was a sorcerer.”
“A friend and the foremost vassal...”
“Yes. When we began our pretend play here, he became a steadfast ally to me. And he stayed by my side until the very end.”
“Until the very end... Ide... Not bad. No, it’s cool.”
The loyal retainer Ide who’d stayed by the girl’s side until the very end. As a child, I’d thought he was cool. At the same time, I’d also wanted to become that Ide. To protect this girl, overflowing with talent, yet so reckless, always by her side...
“No, I will be the chancellor! I want to do it!” I’d volunteered of my own accord. That was truly a version of myself I could call my own.
“Ah...that’s right...” My consciousness returned to the throne room of Viaysia Castle. I gazed once more at myself, my hand grasped by the encouraging red octopus-like sorcerer. The reason I’d wanted to become chancellor was to remain by my sister’s side forever.
It was never to deny being her brother. To think I’d forgotten such a vital, original intention, trembling at the thought of reverting to a state worse than slavery...
“How utterly foolish I’ve been.” I couldn’t help but let the words spill out.
Then, seeing Rouge clasping my hand, I began to understand all the answers. I thought I’d sold every part of myself for the contract that had made me an Essence Thief. I’d believed all that remained was the power of the chancellor and the Essence Thief. But I was wrong. True, I’d lost much in exchange for that power. But the spirit I’d inherited from my grandparents had remained within me all along.
That was the true meaning of the contract I’d made with Apostle Regacy. That was the meaning behind the hope I’d felt back then. That was why, a year ago, when I’d seen Rouge and the other Jewelculi who had escaped from the research institute, I’d wanted to help them. The Jewelculi oppressed in this world a thousand years later were exactly like the sorcerers oppressed a thousand years ago. I wanted to help them to repay grandfather and grandmother’s kindness.
“How did you manage to escape the research institute with that tiny body? But you can rest easy now. The people who tormented you are gone,” I’d said, echoing the words that had been spoken to me long ago. “How did you manage to reach the northern frontier with that small body? You can rest easy now. There’s no one here to threaten you.”
Just like Titee had said, grandfather and grandmother had told me the same thing.
“Being a Jewelculus has nothing to do with it. We decide our own family. By the way, under our own law, we consider everyone here to be one family,” I’d said. That acceptance had come because I’d been told that blood ties meant nothing, that we chose our family on our own.
“Please never give up. Let’s all smile and aim for paradise together,” I’d said, knowing that if grandfather and grandmother were here, I would invite them in the same way. I had done everything in my power to help the Jewelculi. In other words, no matter how much of my memory was taken away, that spirit, that heart, could never be stolen by anyone. I realized I’d been given something so universal and wonderful, and I regretted forgetting it.
“Ah... Oh, I’m sorry, grandfather, grandmother... I truly am a worthless grandson, a worthless little brother. No, I couldn’t even be that...”
I repented bitterly for my failure to fulfill my promise to them.
“Despite receiving such wonderful teachings from both of you, I failed to repay that kindness! I left Titee all alone! For so very long, I was beside her, yet not truly there! I chose the wrong path, lost myself, and became a chancellor instead of a younger brother!”
There was nothing to lament when it came to lacking talent. Thanks to those splendid foster parents, I had gained a spirit I could be proud of. Thanks to that splendid sister, I also possessed a name I could be proud of.
“Everything... I was wrong about everything... I kept making mistakes, over and over... I didn’t want to admit it. That’s how I became what I am...”
With self-derision, I reexamined my life. Because of the price I’d paid, I could no longer recall the days spent with my sister. Yet I knew I had sworn something important in that pure-white place. Beneath the Pieris Aicia tree next to the gabled house, I had decided something profoundly important. What had I vowed? What had I thought? What had I dreamed of? What had I said I wanted? Why had I wanted to become strong? Had I truly believed I could become the chancellor of a nation?
No. I hadn’t wanted to become strong as the chancellor. I’d just wanted to become strong as my sister’s brother. That was the light that should have shown me the way, even if I got lost in the darkness. My true self.
I started to laugh. There was a refreshing clarity in finally reaching the answer, but mostly it was a bitter laugh at how pathetic I was. Tears streaming down my face, brows furrowed, I laughed from the depths of my soul.
Seeing me like that, Rouge beside me called out worriedly. “Professor...?”
Her voice snapped me out of my laughter. Grateful to her for teaching me something important, I forced strength into my body, which had been completely immobile until then. Muscles and nerves were crushed, severed, refusing to move properly. Yet, I still tried to force myself up.
Sensing my resolve, Rouge tried to pull me up with her clenched hand. With my student’s help, I staggered to my feet.
“Yes, I am your professor. You needn’t worry about me anymore. What happened earlier was merely me apologizing to your ancestors.” Determined not to cause further concern, I offered a light smile, one that seemed impossible after my defeat.
Naturally, Rouge was bewildered by this change in me. “Huh? My ancestors?”
“Meaning your family.”
“Don’t look to your ancestors! Look to the present, professor! If you have family, they’re right here! I’m your family!” Rouge shouted, thinking I was still trapped in the past, still holding my hand.
“Yes, that’s right. I wasn’t the chancellor, I became the respectable teacher I’d always wanted to be. I became an adult like my grandfather and grandmother. That alone is enough.”
My memories were still missing, but I understood myself clearly now. It was okay, I was strong. There was no need to lament, complain, or lash out. After all, I possessed the same strength of spirit as my respected grandparents.