Chapter 200

CHAPTER 118 The Ex-Nobody Renews His Vow I want to know defeat. I’d held steadfastly to that wish until the end of my life as the Demon Lord. At the time, I lived only to grant the wishes of those I’d lost, and it had filled me with loneliness. A world without pain, a utopia where everyone always smiled, couldn’t exist. One person’s good fortune was another’s misfortune. That was a fundamental law of society. However, I just couldn’t resign myself to that truth. Because I’d promised them. I’d promised those departed that I’d let their regrets drive me. Ultimately, that brought about my descent into madness. Heroes rose to stop me, comrades who once fought by my side. I slaughtered them all. And as I clashed with each of my former comrades one by one, my soul withered away. That’s why I longed for defeat. Please…somebody stop me. Break my body beyond recognition…and take my hand. Just like Lydia. Please, somebody, guide me to the right path. My dearest wish was never granted. From an outsider’s perspective, the Demon Lord deserved to be alone. Yet I believed my isolation wasn’t to be written off as something I deserved. Mephisto Yuu Phegor. That devil stole everything from me. If not for him, I wouldn’t have lost anything. My most loyal comrades, my beloved best friend—I never would’ve been separated from any of them. Each time somebody left me, the devil cackled. “I’m the only one who will never abandon you, my dear.” The words haunted me without end. I feared that same motive had fueled this very battle. As I sneered at Mephisto and he merrily sipped his tea, I realized the truth. “La-la-la-la.” He hummed, smiling sweetly, like a young maiden in love. His face truly was beautiful, but I found it nauseatingly hideous. “Care to tell me what’s so funny, Mephisto Yuu Phegor?” “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, like you don’t knowww!” The devil threw his head back and laughed. I wanted to drive my fist into his face. I tried to move, desperate to grant the wish that surfaced from the depths of my heart. Yet I couldn’t move. I no longer controlled my body. So I sat there at the table with a devil, forced to chat. “……This is torture. One-of-a-kind torture.” “Awww, there you go again, baby, playing hard to get. We both know deep down you love it.” I wanted to kill him. Or at least be allowed to die. Mephisto wouldn’t permit either, though. He didn’t want to kill his enemy or die. If anything, his was truly an optimistic sort of ambition. “Ohhh, that’s my honey. You really do understand me.” “Stop reading my mind…you’re making me sick.” My angry thoughts traveled to the devil like whispered nothings in a lover’s ear. Mephisto smiled bashfully at my curses. “It really is you. It has to be you. I had hopes for Ireena, but regrettably, she’s just too green. She’s not strong enough yet to withstand my might.” “……So that’s why it has to be me?” “Yup. Because you won’t break. Your mind and your body are indestructible.” There was a hint of melancholy in Mephisto’s smile. It was a loneliness that only those with overwhelming power understood. There was a single person capable of comprehending his loneliness and rescuing him from it. I refused to accept that, though. Even if it was true, I couldn’t bring myself to accept it. However…I knew for certain that was the key. To win this battle and to give everyone a future, I needed to make a tough decision. I needed to embrace a path more difficult than sacrificing my life. We’d be at a stalemate forever, otherwise. “Aww, looks like you’ve figured it out, my dear.” Mephisto giggled, taking a sip of tea. “You are truly precious, the way you muse over two options. I really do love the way you look when you’re perplexed.” “…Piss off, you stupid worm.” After snarling a curse, I took a deep breath in and released it slowly. I pictured the faces of my friends. They’d probably come back to fight. I wondered how they’d react to the ending that would follow. I hoped they wouldn’t be upset with the only future I could give them. “Y’know,” I began. “I never should’ve been born. Same goes for you.” “Yeah. I couldn’t agree more.” Suppressing the urge to vomit over our moment of agreement, I looked up at the sky. “Guess this is the end of the road for me.” His best friend slept in his arms. Disaster Rogue glanced at her peaceful face, his thoughts drifting to the other version of himself. He and Ard Meteor were the same person. However, there was one significant difference. One was a man in the middle of a story. The other had reached his story’s end. That caused a great difference in the way they thought. Thus, Rogue believed that Ard Meteor’s choice was a grave error. “He ordered me to protect you…so I agreed. And yet…” Now I think it was wrong to listen. The shared sense that came from being the same person brought tidings of his end. “So, in the end, we’re both failures,” he muttered. “Nn…mm…” As Ireena started to wake, Rogue froze, as did his comrades. They were in the middle of a field. The campus-turned-battlefield and the capital city that held it were already far in the distance. They’d all run nonstop to get there. In silence. Only running. Surely, that was because they were all in mental turmoil. Is this really for the best? Sprinting was all they could do to shake off that thought. They’d stopped at the first reason they were given. Ireena Olhyde blinked her eyes open in Rogue’s arms. “A-Ard?!” she cried, looking up at the man carrying her. When Rogue saw the look of relief wash over her young, pretty face, he wanted to say yes. But instead… “I am…Disaster Rogue. Not Ard Meteor.” …he told the truth. The intense guilt and self-loathing wouldn’t let him say what he wanted. I am no longer her best friend. I’m just a failure, nothing more. I failed to protect her, so I’m no longer worthy. He fed himself these curses as he looked down at Ireena. She looked around, a wrinkle between her brows, and folded her arms. Ireena clearly wished to say something. She was probably trying to analyze and understand the situation. Upon taking everything in, she paused for a breath and said, “I know what happened. Ard sacrificed himself to save us.” She clenched her fist and gritted her teeth. Elzard was the first to speak to her. “None of us like the decision, but…it was the only way.” Alvarto and Lizer nodded. “He tried to preserve his hopes for the future.” “We need to accept it and move on.” Olivia, Ginny, and Sylphy held their silence. They’d all been tempted to reject Ard’s choice. However, they’d convinced themselves that accepting his decision was the only recourse. No matter how the three justified it, they’d abandoned Ard. That fact hadn’t changed. And that knowledge rendered them incapable of giving an opinion on the matter. They understood this and so remained silent with anguished expressions. Ireena didn’t comment on the group’s opinions. Instead, she watched the sky. “You know…for the first time in my life, I want to punch Ard,” she whispered, clenching her fist. “You’re just gonna sacrifice yourself for us? Don’t give me that crap… Is your trust in us really that shallow?” Rogue sympathized with Ireena. She was right. Ultimately, Ard didn’t trust his friends. He claimed he trusted them, and he acted accordingly to prove it. However, his love and attachment for his friends convinced him that he needed to protect them all, even if it meant sacrificing his own life. His selfless spirit was a beautiful thing, superficially. Yet beneath the surface, there lay a hubris that should’ve been ridiculed. Deep in his heart, he looked down on others, refusing to rely on anyone. “Why didn’t you ask us to help you fight?” How dare you carry all the burden yourself? It’s like a slap in the face to your friends. The next thing she knew, Ireena was screaming, releasing her rage that had nowhere to go. “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Her angry shriek echoed around the group. The long, anguished sound was a manifestation of everything Ireena had been keeping inside. “Phew…that felt good.” Ireena swiftly collected herself once she was done. “Okay, guys, let’s go beat up Ard.” She looked at her friends, hands on her hips. A chorus of bewildered faces stared back. Undoubtedly, they believed that Ard’s sacrifice meant that the fight was already over. Ireena vehemently refused. “Nobody can make it to their destination if they choose the wrong path. Ard’s gonna fail. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mephisto’s already got the upper hand.” From the perspective of most of the others, Ireena’s statement sounded like wishful thinking, an excuse to go back. However, Rogue knew the truth. I was right… Ireena sees through Ard Meteor like glass. She understands him fully. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. They are best friends. Ard took care never to let his admiration or special feelings for her show, but that didn’t change the facts. Rogue calmly told Ireena the truth. “You’re right. He lost to Mephisto moments ago.” All faces tensed at the revelation, but only for a moment. They quickly realized what they had to do, and accepted it. “So, we retreated…only to turn around and go back.” “It’s a bad look, but oh well.” “We can’t defeat Mephisto without Ard Meteor. Thus, we’ll need to storm into enemy territory again—that is undeniable. However…” Lizer put a hand on his chin. His eyes went to Rogue. “I really hope you’re not suggesting that we lay siege without a plan. You do have one, don’t you?” “Of course,” Rogue answered. “I’ve got measures in place. But…I can’t share them.” It was an unscrupulous declaration worthy of outrage. Any sensible person would’ve refused to risk their life for a secret plan. However…no one objected. They all trusted Rogue. They all trusted Ard Meteor. “I see. Then we need not hesitate,” Lizer said. “Indeed…,” Olivia added. Elzard sighed. “Dammit, I knew that guy was hopeless without us.” “Stop acting like you know him, lizard brain. You two aren’t even that close.” “Let’s all work together to bring Ard home,” Ginny said. “Great! I’ve been itching to have a good brawl! Don’cha agree, Sis?!” Theirs was a battle of almost certain death, yet there wasn’t a trace of weakness or despair in them. As he beheld this group of friends, Rogue muttered, “Well, Ard Meteor…looks like you made the same mistake I did.” How had he become a failure? The question had haunted him since he’d lost everything. Now the answer shone before him as clear as day. I tried to protect them, up until the bitter end. All because I looked down on them. The proof was in what I never managed to say. Those two words. “Help me.” Had I been capable of saying that, then perhaps… He and Ard Meteor had been so foolish. They were so adamant about protecting everyone that they’d made fatal mistakes. In the end, Rogue was yet another person who approved of Ard’s choice. They all knew that staying with him was the right choice, yet they hadn’t. Ireena would lead the charge to correct that mistake. This had been the right decision all along. Ard Meteor. We are both small-minded men who couldn’t let go of our intellects. That’s why we need them. We need a bunch of idiots standing by our side. Idiots like Lydia. And major idiots like Ireena. Rogue looked at Ireena, comparing her to his former best friend. She met his gaze. “Let’s go, Ard!” She reached out with her right hand. The sight of this called to mind something from Rogue’s past. He swallowed the words on the tip of his tongue and averted his eyes. “I am…not Ard Mete—” “No, you’re Ard. Make no mistake.” Ireena cupped Rogue’s cheeks in her hands, forcing him to look her in the eye. “You just remembered the day we met, right?”