Chapter 170

“If you were truly alone, Ard’s choice wouldn’t be a mistake. I don’t think it’s wrong for someone who would genuinely find salvation in death to perish, but…” Ireena grabbed Alvarto by the collar again, her grip on his shirt tightening as she spoke. “…you have Kalmia. You’re not alone. Think! What will happen to Kalmia if you disappear?! Do you really not care about how much she’d mourn and suffer? Do you want death’s freedom so badly that you’d subject Kalmia to what you’ve endured for ages?” Alvarto’s teeth began to clatter. “I…” Once the memories had been called to mind, there was no way to stop them. His life with Kalmia. The memories they shared. It felt natural for her to be at his side. She had always, always been on hand for him, been at his side. In the beginning, Alvarto had found her repugnant, and even hated her. However, by the time he realized it, she had become like a part of his own body and mind. Yes, Kalmia was the one and only person left to him… “You idiot, it’s taken you long enough to notice.” Ireena sighed as though speaking to a foolish kid, then she let go of Alvarto’s collar. “You’re not the only one who’s lost someone dear, and neither am I. It’s something everyone’s got to deal with. I’m convinced it’s a trial that we all have to experience to grow. And it’s long past time you grew up, Alvarto. If not for yourself, then for the sake of your dearest friend who, like you, lost someone she loved and was left behind.” Ireena’s words struck Alvarto’s heart harder than any of her blows. Curiously, something warm bloomed in his empty heart. At that moment…the Holy Sword, Dilga Zervatis, in his hand glowed and began to change its shape, returning to that of a girl. Kalmia looked down at Alvarto. “I wasn’t able to stop Luminas. After you lost consciousness, she ordered me to keep living at your side.” Kalmia, who ordinarily maintained a level of stoicism, now allowed her sorrow to fill her beautiful features. “While I don’t consider myself a tool, it doesn’t change my fate. I’m still a piece of equipment at heart. The wishes of one that I’ve truly accepted as my wielder weigh me down like a curse. Which is why…I couldn’t die with you.” Kalmia’s face twisted with pain. Her fingers trembled and her lips quivered as she vented everything she had kept hidden for so long. “No matter what, I’m unable to die. But you’re different. You can prioritize your own aspirations and seek peace…and I wanted to stop you. I couldn’t bring myself to say it. You were just so sad and pitiful. Which is why I helped you to achieve your goal, but…” Kalmia choked on her words. She had definitely struggled over the last several millennia as she was caught between her friend’s last chance and her own desires. It was precisely because Alvarto was dear to her that she wanted him to find solace. However, she still prayed that he would live. Who could say how much torture Kalmia suffered over the years because of that contradiction? Alvarto had remained oblivious to those feelings—unable to comprehend them. “…Kalmia.” He called to her as he gazed upward. There was regret in his eyes, and sorrow, too. Perhaps seeing these emotions, Kalmia scrunched up her lovely face as she held back tears. “You are…to me…the last remaining…precious thing… So…please…please…don’t leave me alone.” A tear ran down Kalmia’s pale cheek. Alvarto felt a sharp pang of pain in his heart when he saw it. What have I been doing? Thinking only about myself. I wasn’t able to see what she felt… I didn’t even try to. Yes, it’s true…I really am a damned, mewling spoiled little brat. What Lydia had once told him. What Kalmia had once told him. Alvarto couldn’t understand at the time, but now he did. No matter how powerful, Alvarto was still a needy child. That’s why Lydia hadn’t accepted him as a warrior, while Kalmia had hoped he would grow from a child to an adult. Maybe she had wished he would become a man who would change her. One who would free her from her infatuation with death. If only I had realized this. Had I faced her as a man… No. It’s pointless to linger on that now. Changing the past was beyond Alvarto. He couldn’t recover what had been lost. That was why he needed to act for the loved one before him. “I truly, truly am sorry for everything I’ve done to this point.” Alvarto reached out and wiped the tear from his partner’s face. Then, he turned. “…Ireena Olhyde.” No anger remained on his face. “Living with the pain of loss is difficult, but…you’re not alone. If you support each other, you’ll be able to overcome it. And, if you can’t…then come to me. Then…” Ireena smiled gently, looking as radiant as a goddess. “…I’ll save you…and find a path to live by. I swear it.” Alvarto gazed down at the ground and grunted. As Ireena had said, it wouldn’t be easy. He would have to throw away his thirst for death and face off against despair. There could be no straying from the path, even if he regretted his own birth. It was a choice that was so full of suffering and obstacles that the mere notion was depressing. In comparison, perhaps it’d be better, easier, to die. He wasn’t able to let go of that desire completely. However, when he looked up, the blizzard had stopped, the clouds had parted, and sunlight streamed through. “Ireena Olhyde.” Alvarto looked at her and smiled for the first time in millennia. His next words marked the end of this battle and were a testament to his newfound determination. “You win.”