Chapter 8

Chapter 2 That’s right—she’s the self-proclaimed “cutest idol” “—My name is Yui Saikawa! I’m an idol singer!” It was just one damn thing after another. Detectives are magnets for problems that need solving. It was evening on a weekend, in front of a train station. Apparently having heard the rumors about me, a new client introduced herself to Natsunagi and me. Yui Saikawa was a singing, dancing middle school idol who was currently attracting massive amounts of attention in Japan. From what I’d heard, she’d made her professional debut in sixth grade. Ever since then, people of all ages and genders had loved her for her exceptional gifts in singing and dance, and especially for her adorable face. Her album sales always topped the weekly charts, and thanks to her looks, you could catch her frequently on magazine covers and in TV commercials. …Still. Yui Saikawa, huh? Hey, Siesta. Is this another coincidence? Or— Even so, no one but Siesta herself could know about that conflict. Yui Saikawa sucked in a deep breath, then shouted at Natsunagi and me: “I want you to stop the theft of a sapphire that’s worth three billion yen!” I know I just said this, but this was a weekend evening in front of a train station. I’m pretty sure you can imagine what the crowds were like. If a middle school girl started yelling about a three-billion-yen sapphire getting stolen there, it was perfectly natural for all those eyes to end up on her. Consequently, it’s fair to say what I did next was also perfectly natural. “Yes, okay, shut up a second.” I turned to this active idol, a middle school girl I’d only just met—and smacked both my hands over her mouth. “Mmph! Mmmmmmmrrgh! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmph!” “Okay, come on. Easy, easy.” As Saikawa struggled and kicked, I wrapped my arm around her, desperately trying to muffle her shouts. After all, I’d just finished a job. I was tired. I was very, very tired. Even if she was an idol, or a kid, no law in Japan would punish me for blocking her little mouth with everything I had. “You didn’t say anything about three billion yen, right? Right? Ow— Oh, hey, don’t run off!” She’d chomped down on my palm, then swiftly and agilely put some distance between us. “Wha, wha-wha-wha…?” she stammered. “Where did that come from?! Who—who do you think I am?! I’m the world’s cutest idol, Yui Saikawa! Do you know who you’re dealing with?!” “Calm down, Saikawa. Yes, my hands are all sticky with your incredibly cute saliva, but I’m not going to swab it and keep it forever or anything. I’m just tired and want you to shut up. That’s all.” “Waaaaaaaaugh! I thought you were a detective, but you’re a pervert! …Hah! Wait, are you the criminal who sent me that notice?! Waaaaaugh! You’re not just a pervert; you’re a thief! Somebody, get me a policeman! Please call the police!” “Ha-ha. Sorry, but the police and I are already on good terms.” “N-no! Are you saying this country is already corrupt all the way down?! That the police and the lawyers and the politicians are all on the side of the panty stealers?!”