“Jeffy?”
“You know, you’ve made this the best day of my life. How do you do it? Really now. How do you do it?”
“No, back up. Where did ‘Jeffy’ come from?”
“Oopsy-doo, did I say that out loud? My bad.”
Around stifled giggles, Joachim explained that a club of zealous Jeffrey fangirls—Jeffrey’s Wives, as they titled themselves—referred to him as Jeffy online. In the course of combing through photos for his styling assignments, Joachim had encountered that nickname so often, it began to roll off the tongue.
“…Jeffy…” Jeffrey repeated, aghast.
“Isn’t it cute? It sounds like a little Nordic bunny. I wasn’t planning on telling you, but that cat’s out of the bag now.”
“Do I look like I have bunny ears?”
“Could be your costume for next Halloween.”
“Oh, please. Let’s not.”
Whenever the waiters brought in another exquisite dish, the two pretended to be deep in discussion over top secret matters. Jeffrey brought up a series of complicated graphs on his phone, which Joachim scrutinized, nodding as seriously as if he understood exactly what he was looking at. It was all just too much fun. Better yet, both Joachim and Jeffrey knew the other was enjoying himself just as much as he was. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jeffrey came to the only realization: Oh, I am completely screwed.
He called his favorite hotel and asked them to free up his usual room. The hotel swiftly complied.
“…Well, I’ll be damned,” Jeffrey muttered to himself. Joachim was in the bathroom retouching his makeup, leaving Jeffrey alone just long enough to put his shoes back on and retie them before checking out again. Outside the window, the New York metropolis was wrapped in a blanket of dusky red fog. So little of the city was visible that the area where Joachim lived in his trailer might as well not have existed.
Once love for another human being reached its highest point, only disillusionment could follow. Inflamed passions that had once blazed bright would gutter out, leaving nothing but ash or the dying sputters of a charcoal fire.
Which was why Jeffrey had booked the hotel room. It was time, he decided, to reach that ashen stage, and fast. However, much to his surprise, he soon discovered that there was quite a lot left in him to burn. Odder still, Joachim persistently failed to lose his interest. Their relationship developed, yes, but Joachim still refused to cede himself, body and soul, to Jeffrey. Regardless of Jeffrey’s intentions, there was no tinder in Joachim’s heart to burn.
That’s just how some people are, I guess, Jeffrey thought, as he tidied up his scattered thoughts. It was odd that he could understand that. He had known right from the start that an affair with Joachim was an enormous risk, but Jeffrey had perfect faith in his ability to discern which risks were the most dangerous.
The shoes were back on; their laces, tied. “Chim,” he called in the direction of the bathroom.
“Yes, hon?”
Just hearing Joachim’s voice made Jeffrey picture his lover’s mouth, lips parted.
He asked casually, “Do you want to make yourself happy, Chim? Do you think you’re one of those people who’ll find happiness someday?”
The hush that followed was so thick Jeffrey could hear the second-hand ticking on the clock. Still, he didn’t break the silence. It dragged on until Joachim’s voice floated out of the bathroom once more.
“…Sorry, but that’s not how I live my life.”
Good thing I booked a hotel, Jeffrey thought with a hint of a grin. He doubted he would have gotten that answer if they’d been intimate in a more personal location.
“Okay!” he called back. “In that case, I think we’ll get along very well with each other.”
Silence.
“I’m the same way. Look at us—twinsies!”
More silence.
“I’m glad I found someone like you.”
If their caresses remained purely physical—well, that was fine, because Jeffrey didn’t want anything beyond that. He could try to burn through all their passions at once, but what difference did it make when Joachim never offered any fuel for the fire to begin with? Joachim never tried to get more money from Jeffrey than was his due, according to the terms of their working relationship. He was even, in some sense, trustworthy in a personal sense.
Oh, Joachim was the best analgesic Jeffrey could ever have hoped for.
When Joachim stepped out of the bathroom, his hair and lipstick were immaculate once more. If there was emotion shining in his dark eyes, well, Jeffrey pretended not to see it.
“You’re a damn fool,” Joachim said.
“I’m aware. But I want to keep on living.”
Joachim’s eyes were tinged with pity, as if he was seeing himself in a mirror.
Jeffrey stood up and slapped his pockets. “Well, that’s that. Sorry to kick you out, but do you mind if I call you a cab? I’ll be in touch later.”
“Aye-aye, captain. I had fun tonight. The dinner was lovely, too.”
“Shoot me a message if you find any more accessories you like.”
Joachim waved him off like the gesture was a chore and turned to leave—before abruptly turning and coming right on back.
“What’s the matter?” Jeffrey asked.
Joachim tapped his right index finger against Jeffrey’s lips. “You better stay alive until I see you next. I’ll tell you ‘good job.’ Understand?”
“…Can’t wait.”
Now, with a fluttering wave, Joachim departed for real. He never looked back.
The sole occupant of the room once more, Jeffery diligently checked the phone calls and messages which had piled up in the interim. When that was complete, he placed an international call. There was a crackle of static before a young man picked up. Jeffrey smiled as widely as he could and made his voice that of a jovial celebrity. When he spoke it was, naturally, in Japanese.
“Hey there, Seigi! You doing okay? No harm if not. How’s hotel life treating you? You need anything? I’ll be back to see you soon. …Oh no, I’m not calling for any specific reason. See, I’m staying in a hotel tonight, too, so I was wondering how my other hotel buddy was doing. I say that as if I don’t stay in hotels year-round!”
His call with the young, depressed Japanese man complete, Jeffrey entered the bathroom and burst out laughing. All the free toiletries were gone.
Jeffrey avoided encounters with Joachim for a while afterward. Joachim didn’t need Jeffrey popping over constantly, either, so periodic emails with styling tips and attached clothes photos were plenty for both of them. Really, Jeffrey was so busy jetting back and forth from Japan to London to New York that he didn’t have the time for anything else.
It was late Wednesday night when his schedule miraculously opened up and he happened to think of Joachim. Jeffrey caught a cab to that once-frequented part of New York on the border of Queens and Brooklyn. The club was closed for the night when he arrived, but Jeffrey knew his favorite dancer wasn’t far. He slipped around to the back of the trailer house and knocked on the door.
“Yes?” Sure enough, Joachim was home.
“Surprise! Know what day it is, Chi—?”
Jeffrey’s tongue stilled before he could complete his sentence.
The unlocked door swung open to reveal Joachim crying silently. The upper half of his face was deathly pale where it wasn’t mottled with dark bruises. Blood oozed from a cut at the edge of his mouth.
It took ten seconds before Joachim, listless and defeated, and Jeffrey, dumbfounded, could meet each other’s gaze.
“…What happened to your face?” Jeffrey asked.
“Oh, I can’t believe it. Why now, of all times?”
Swearing a curse at God, Joachim rose and attempted to push Jeffrey out, but that was when a sharp crack resounded in the distance. Joachim pulled Jeffrey into his arms and bundled him inside, fast. Next thing he knew, Jeffrey was shoved into a small storage space in the back of the Ritz. Joachim forced him to his knees.
A purple cloth thudded over Jeffrey’s head. “Stay hidden. Don’t you dare come out of there. I mean it. If you break this promise, I’ll kill you.”
There was no time to respond. A stampede of footsteps pounded into the trailer, and some inarticulate—drunk—but unmistakably masculine voice shouted for Joachim.