“In that case, perhaps you have a different ‘eye’ than I do.”
“…An eye? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Yes, an eye,” Richard said. “I once said you are only able to compliment me because, in your eyes, you and I are two distinctly different creatures. Since then, I have been fortunate enough to watch you grow tremendously as a human being, both in the physical and the mental realm. If I may be frank, I had hoped this growth would result in fewer compliments from you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that. I’m really very sorry.”
“I’m not done yet.”
I sat up straight. “Yes, sir.”
It was very rare to hear Richard use contractions in such a dispassionate voice. I wondered if he had picked that up from Vince.
“You insist on calling me beautiful. Surely, I have begun telling myself as of late, it would be churlish of me to persist in perceiving this as idle flattery.”
“Um, I guess so…?”
“In short: To you, I am beautiful.”
His finger wagged gracefully as he pointed first at me, then at himself, like a wizard casting a spell. The beauty of it took my breath away. Richard smiled sweetly as if he had known it would and tilted his head again.
“If I may, perhaps this is your way of telling me that I am and always will be. Just as you are precious to me and always will be.”
Now that he said that, I realized he was right. To me, Richard was beautiful. To me, beauty was Richard. Because I knew he would still be beautiful to me even with my eyes closed, saying so was less an observation. It was just a description of what he inherently…
What he inherently—wait. No, hold on. Was it just me, or had Richard admitted something much more important? That I…that I was precious to him? Was that what he said?
“What…does that mean exactly?”
“Forgive me. As an Englishman, I am afraid I understand little of the intricate nuances of the Japanese language. Mr. Seigi Nakata, would you care to enlighten me what precious means?”
I—I mean—
Totoi was “precious” if directly translated into English. The Japanese dictionary sometimes included the English phrase “precious stones” next to the exemplary totoi stones—diamonds, sapphires, rubies, what have you. Same for semi-precious stones, aka half totoi stones. But enough about that. That had no bearing on what just happened.
Precious, well. It meant—fortunately for me—something very, very valuable. It told me everything I was wailing about earlier—if only Richard hadn’t met me; maybe he could have met someone better; woulda-coulda-shoulda—hadn’t been brushed off and ignored. Not one bit.
This beautiful jeweler snorted lightly and continued casting his magic spell on me. “And so once again, you fail to see anything but half of the equation. Consider the matter from my perspective. For every option you have robbed me of, I am guilty of depriving you of just the same. I have left a large part of myself in you over these past four years, influencing the way you live and think as an individual. And, even if you view your actions as the height of evil, I do not regret a single moment of it. I do not believe in the slightest that I erred in choosing to monopolize the resource known as Seigi Nakata. I am thrilled to have met you, to have spent time with you, to have developed a deep relationship with you, to have been introduced to your other loved ones. All of it is precious to me. If you ask me to pretend none of that ever happened, you force me to deliver this message: Take that claptrap and stick it up your arse. Your time with me is nothing but a treasure to me.”
“…”
“Do you understand, Seigi? You are a part of me, and I—I am a part of you.”
You are a part of me.
The words lodged deep inside my ears with their repetition. What was I doing right now? Sitting? Standing? Was I on Earth? Floating through outer space? Where was I? What was I? I—
Did this man just tell me I was a part of him? Part of the most beautiful living being in the world?
A tear spilled down my cheek. Richard wiped it away briskly, almost with exasperation, then set his jaw and continued, “Now, if you’ll forgive me for being redundant… I evidently do not mind your compliments on my physical appearance. In fact, quite inexplicably, I find I no longer struggle to look at myself in the mirror. Perhaps I have your silly voice in the back of my head to blame. Isn’t it odd? Prior to meeting you, I often looked in the mirror and tried to convince myself I wasn’t beautiful at all.”
“But that’s impossible. You can insist that the sun rises in the west, but that doesn’t make it true.”
“I agree. Thus, I would consider this a positive development. And,” Richard added, “I am grateful to have you in my life.”
Oh. I’m glad to hear that. You really have no idea how glad I am. I was so relieved, it even dried up my tears.
I didn’t know if I had made the right choice or not. Maybe that was all a matter of how I looked at it. But when I did struggle with that interpretation, Richard told me, “I’m glad you stepped into my life.” And that made me happy.
It made me happy to hear that I was precious. That I was a part of him. That he was happy enough to tell me that.
Because, inside and out, I felt the exact same way about him.
“…Thank you.”
“That was certainly a lengthy explanation, but I hope it was effective.”
“It was. It really, really was.”
“Excellent. Lecture over.”
Professor Richard beamed and suggested we keep moving along. When I joked back—asking why, since I didn’t exactly have any other appointments after this—he informed me that he was hungry. That one almost got a laugh out of me. Come to think of it, the museum did boast an excellent café—reputed to be the oldest and most beautiful in the world—that sold tea and cake. The very thing Richard craved whenever he felt worn out.
He guided me there, telling me I’d be shocked when I walked in and that I’d love it. Wow, I thought. Richard really does love this museum.
“Hey, Richard?”
“Yes?”
I asked him something that had been on my mind for a bit. Just to be sure, basically.
“What would you have done if I had chosen the shorter explanation?”
“Slapped you.”
“Figures.”
I’d had a feeling—his right hand had kept twitching. It would have been a real wallop of a slap, too. A Come back to reality, Seigi slap. Never mind the fact that we had been in a jewelry exhibit. I couldn’t bear to imagine what would have happened if someone had thought it was a fight and blew the alarms on us. Really, I had made the only possible choice.
Thank goodness I didn’t give Richard a negative memory to associate with this place he loves so much, I thought to myself with a sigh of relief. However, I had another worry: I knew I really shouldn’t make any negative associations of this place for Richard. And yet, what I was just about to do…
Oh well! All I had to do was believe in that one word: precious. This was my last chance, and if I let it slip away now, I knew I would never get this opportunity again.