Under Starry Skies Together
1
PART THREE: KAJII TAKUMI, HOTARU’S FORMER BOYFRIEND
I’ve searched so long just to see you once more.
All I want is one more chance to say what I couldn’t before.
KAJII TAKUMI SAT on the veranda, taking an evening rest surrounded by the flowers of his garden. By his side was a woman dear to him. The wind gently brushed her hair as she looked up. Following her gaze, he saw that the sky was turning from orange to indigo and the stars were starting to sporadically twinkle.
True night still had yet to arrive, and the stars in the light-indigo sky were far from bright. Their modest shine reminded him of her. He looked back down to her soft face in profile and was entranced.
“Takumi-san? Is something the matter?” She noticed his gaze and asked him that question. Her large, moist eyes made his heart skip a beat. To think he, a man eight years older, would be so flustered by her.
“No. I was just captivated by the sight of you.”
“Oh, you.” She giggled and covered her mouth as she smiled. His heart began to race.
Looking back on it all, it might have just been him who was in love.
Two years had passed since the war ended, and Japan was going through difficult times. But Takumi could still enjoy comforts like this evening rest on his veranda because his family ran a successful clinic in Yamagata that had been largely unaffected by the war. The love of his life lost her parents during the war and was taken in by the Kajii family because they had known her parents. However, she wasn’t adopted as a daughter but accepted into the home as the eventual daughter-in-law. She was grateful to Takumi and his family for welcoming her, but even without such an obligation, the two were close.
He held her dear and believed she felt the same way about him. But what she held in her heart must not have been the same love he felt but the kind felt for family and friends instead. She never returned him the answer he wanted to hear.
“Ah, right. I brought you a gift,” he said.
“Oh? What is this?”
“Star sand. I thought you might like it since you always love looking at the night sky so much. Maybe it’s a bit bland?”
But he was willing to wait. He believed love needed time to blossom.
“No, it’s wonderful… I’ll treasure it.”
In the end, she never answered his proposal, and they parted without a single goodbye.
✦ ✦ ✦
Hotaru recalled an evening shared on a veranda somewhere. She fiddled with a small bottle of star sand in her hand. It wasn’t a valuable object by any means, but it was a gift from him. The small, star-shaped grains looked like sand, but apparently they were actually the husks of deceased tiny organisms… His gift would have been a lot better if he hadn’t tacked on that explanation, but being a little foolish was very much like him.
She would gaze at the small bottle from time to time. It had a calming effect on her. Etched in the star sand were nostalgic memories of hers: the starry sky they looked up at together, his sheepish smile. She’d left many things behind, but this bottle was the one thing she couldn’t bring herself to part with.
“Hotaru-chan, a customer’s here for you.”
“Coming.” She put the bottle of star sand in her breast pocket and smiled softly. She would sleep with a man she didn’t know again today, but there wasn’t a trace of hesitation in her. She was used to this line of work.
She passed by the bar counter and, out of the corner of her eye, saw the young man who had become a frequent customer lately. He didn’t come to sleep with any women, however, but to drink liquor and chat with the manager. He showed some interest in Hotaru, but apparently not enough to buy her services. That was fine by her, though. He was several years younger, but he was sharp and knew how to hold a conversation. Talking with him was pleasant.
She swore there had been a waitress he was quite taken with, but he made no attempt to talk to any of them now. Perhaps she simply misremembered? She looked around, thinking to herself there were both fewer customers and fewer waitresses around than before.
“Heya, Hotaru. Hope you don’t mind me coming by again.”
“Of course not; I’m delighted to see you. Please, allow me to lead you upstairs.”
Tonight’s client had already come by a few times to sleep with her. She was pleased to know she was liked so much. The man, used to the process, followed her up to the balcony room on the second floor without hesitation.
They spoke little, having no need for words. They took their clothes off and got on the bed. She lightly brushed his hand and guided it to her chest. Snuggling close, she could feel his warmth and his breath.
Ah… So cold. His skin was warm, but the hotter it felt, the colder a place dear to her became.
She did not hate sex. She had abandoned her old self and become Hotaru in full, which was what allowed her to play the role of a sex worker and grant these ephemeral dreams of love. The smile on her face and the feverish moans she made were all real. The man loved her, and she loved him back.
But nights in the Dove District were long, and sometimes it felt like she was gasping for air.