Prologue:
Transient Days
AMID TORRENTIAL RAIN, the man extended a hand to us and said, “If you have nowhere else to go, why not come stay at my place?”
I was only five then, yet I still remember it now. Unable to stand my father’s treatment of my younger sister, I’d taken her and fled Edo. I didn’t want us to live in a home like that anymore.
“…The rain’s only getting heavier,” I said.
“…Yeah.”
The rain poured, leaching our warmth and weighing down our bodies as we walked the night road side by side. It was too dark to see what lay ahead, and we were without umbrellas.
“I’m sorry, Suzune. I’m a failure of a brother.”
Suzune, my younger sister, hung her head sadly. Her hair had streaks of reddish-brown, and a bandage covered her right eye. Looking at her bandage dredged up bitter feelings. I hadn’t been able to protect her from our father. I’d tried my hardest, but in the end, our family shattered apart. Her bandage served as a painful reminder of my own ineptitude.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m happy as long as you’re by my side.”
We reached for each other’s hands, and my chest warmed as I felt her soft palm press against mine. Slowly, she broke into a genuine smile.
A pathetic older brother who couldn’t protect what was dear to him and a younger sister who beamed even while drenched in rain.
What did I think of her smile then, I wonder. I probably felt a myriad of emotions, too jumbled to put into words. The one thing I know for certain, however, was that her cherubic smile saved me in that moment.
So, I made a wish: No matter what she may ultimately become, please, allow me to remain her older brother until the end.
But I was only a child then. We might have left our home, but there was nowhere I could take her. We could only meander along the road leading away from Edo, without purpose or direction.
The rain grew heavier, then heavy enough to obscure what was before us. There was nowhere we could go, and no place we could return to. I was certain we would die on that road when we came across a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties. He wore a sedge hat and a slack kimono robe. Without bothering to ask if we were runaways, he said, “If you have nowhere else to go, why not come stay at my place?”
He was a stranger, and I was wary of him. I hid Suzune behind me and glared as fiercely as I could. But the man just smiled and said, “No need to glare. I’m nobody suspicious or anything, really.”
I saw the sword at his waist and asked, “You’re a samurai?”
“A shrine maiden guardian!” the man triumphantly replied. I had no clue what that was, but the man stated it so proudly that even my child mind understood it must be something grand. “So, what’ll it be?” he continued. “Are you going to take me up on my offer or stay out here and bite the dust? Personally, I don’t think you have much of a choice.”
The man was right. There was no way we could survive on our own. It felt pathetic to admit, but it was foolish of me to leave home without a plan.
“Jinta…” Behind me, Suzune clutched the hem of my kimono robe, gazing fearfully at the stranger. She was afraid of men because they reminded her of our father, but we had no choice. As children, we had to rely on others to survive.
“Let’s go with him, Suzune. It’ll be okay. I’m with you,” I said.
It was take this man’s hand or die. The man sighed softly, perhaps sensing my reluctance, but he never dropped his kind gaze. I took his hand. His palm was firm and calloused.
“The name’s Motoharu. And you, lad?” he asked. I understood the firmness of his palm to be a reflection of his diligence, just as my father’s own hands were always worn out from manning the shop. Something about that made me feel this man could be trusted.
Still, it was with some hesitancy that I answered, “…Jinta.”
“And how old are you?”
“Five.”
“You don’t say? You’re pretty levelheaded for your age. I take it that’s your sister then? What’s her name?”
“Suzune. She’s a year younger than me.”
“Is that right? I got a daughter of my own, actually. Same age. Maybe you all can be friends?”
Motoharu led me by the hand while I led Suzune by the hand, forming a chain. It was a strange sight that would’ve made any passerby do a double take, or so Motoharu joked.
We made for his village with him showing the way. I remember thinking that night that his rough palm felt just as gentle as Suzune’s.
“We’re here. This is Kadono.”
After traveling the winding road, getting to the mountain, and traversing the wilderness, we arrived at Motoharu’s home in a mountain village.
By then, more than a month had passed since we left Edo. With how casual his invitation was, I had expected his place to be far closer. We slept out in the open air many times along the way, often braving the elements just as we had that rainy night. I was exhausted from the journey. Suzune seemed fine, on the other hand, much to my chagrin.
I looked around through the rain that obstructed my view. There was a river nearby and a dense forest that continued beyond the village. In one area, buildings were packed messily together; in another, what seemed to be homes were sparsely set apart. It felt a bit disorderly. Perhaps because I had only known life in Edo, this place looked strange to me.
“Weird…” I heard Suzune say as she eyed our surroundings. She seemed to have reached the same conclusion as I did.
“Kadono ain’t weird at all. Though we are a small iron town, so you won’t find anything as exciting as in Edo,” Motoharu said.
“An iron town?” Suzune parroted.
“A town that makes iron. I’ll tell you more about that later. C’mon, this way.”
He led us to a wooden home that was much larger than its neighbors. “This is my place. Come on in.”
We followed him inside. From within, a young girl trotted towards us. Loudly, she called out, “Daddy, welcome home!”
Suzune stiffened in surprise. I stepped forward to protect her, a meaningless gesture. The young girl, presumably Motoharu’s daughter, leapt into her father’s arms.
“I’m home, Shirayuki. Have you been a good girl while I’ve been away?”
“Yeah!”
“That’s good, that’s good.”
The girl was slightly smaller than Suzune and had fair skin. Her lips curved into a soft smile as Motoharu patted her head. Motoharu’s own smile shone through his eyes. The two looked like a perfect family.
Suzune cast her gaze downwards, unable to bear the happy sight. Before her was something she could never have. Miserable tears began to well in her eyes, so I squeezed her small hand tight.
“Jinta…?” she said.
“It’ll be okay,” I said. If someone were to ask me what would be okay, I wouldn’t have been able to answer. But I held her hand tightly regardless. “Don’t you worry.”
“…Okay.”
Her relieved voice, her returning squeeze of the hand, her mild warmth—it all made me want to smile, so I did. And she smiled back.
“Hm?” After talking to Motoharu for some time, the young girl finally noticed our presence, giving us a curious look. “Daddy, who are they?”
“A couple of children I picked up along the way,” Motoharu answered. He wasn’t wrong, but his answer only begged more questions. The young girl tilted her head, confused. Motoharu continued, “They’ll be living with us starting today.”
The young girl seemed bewildered by his sudden announcement. Of course, she would be. Anybody would be surprised—displeased even—to so unexpectedly learn that they would be living with strangers. She asked, “They’re going to live here?”
“That’s the plan. Are you all right with that?”
“…Yeah!”
The young girl seemed happy with the idea. This time, it was I who felt bewildered. How could she—and her father—be so accepting of us?
“U-um…” I tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out.
The young girl tottered over and peered directly at me. “I’m Shirayuki. What’s your name?”
“J-Jinta…” I felt nervous being so close to such a cute girl, especially one who was so close to my age. I couldn’t see it for myself, but my face was probably red.
Suzune latched on to my arm. She was terribly shy with strangers. I could feel her trembling through our connected palms.
“Hello. What’s your name?” Shirayuki asked.
“…Suzune,” my sister quietly replied, not managing a proper greeting. That seemed enough for Shirayuki, however, as she smiled broadly in return. I couldn’t believe it, but she was actually welcoming us.
“Nice to meet you,” Shirayuki said, extending a hand.
She was practically a mirror image of her father. The sight of her overlapped with the memory of Motoharu extending a hand in the rain, and I laughed a bit.
“Hm? What’s wrong?”
“Ha ha… No, it’s nothing. It’s nice to meet you too, Sh-Shira…yuki-chan…” I awkwardly stammered out her name.
She smiled slightly and shook her head. “You don’t need to add ‘-chan’ to my name,” she said, with a mature gentleness so unlike a child’s. “Because we’re family from now on.”
In hindsight, I probably fell for her smile then. That was how it all began. I was so happy to be called family by her. She probably had no idea how much those words meant to me, but it remained one of my treasured memories, even now. I was saved by my sister’s smile—and by hers. After losing everything, I regained a small amount of happiness that rainy night.
From that day on, Suzune and I lived with Motoharu. His wife, Yokaze, turned out to be a big shot in the village, and she and the village chief arranged for us to live in Kadono.
I felt indebted to Yokaze, although I hardly ever saw her. When I asked Motoharu why she didn’t live with us, he just grinned wryly and said, “She has to live at the shrine for her work.” I wanted to ask further, but the sad look on Shirayuki’s face made me think twice.
At any rate, Suzune and I began a new life in Kadono. Suzune was a bit timid at first, but over the course of three years, she opened up greatly and even played with children other than Shirayuki and me. There was a girl named Chitose, who was about four or five years old, and they often played together. Suzune would soon turn seven, but she looked young for her age, so the two were a good fit.
As for me…
“Darn it!”
“Ha ha, you won’t hit me by just swinging your blade willy-nilly!”
I swung my blade recklessly, and as hard as I could, but Motoharu parried it with little effort.
“Good luck, Jinta!” Shirayuki watched the two of us sparring with amusement.