—And now our tale returns to where we started.
Welcome back.
Did you have fun?
i'm glad to hear that.
The grounds of Kita-Shirahebi Shrine—there's no building left here on this rotten and decayed mountain trail, with only a red torii gate giving any indication of the nature of the place, and this is where Nadeko stands all alone in a downpour so fierce she can't even see an inch ahead of her.
Alone.
Overwhelmingly alone.
Nadeko is the only one standing.
The other two have fallen—Big Brother Koyomi and Miss Shinobu have been filled with poison from head to toe, turning them a murky black—and as for Koyomi, his shattered heart has yet to regenerate.
But that's an immortal vampire for you.
Every bit as imposing as you hear.
It seems like they're somehow still alive, Neither has met death—though i realize it's laughably funny to talk about someone immortal as still being alive.
And—they're only "alive" if that's how you describe the physiological reactions they seem to be having to the pouring rain, like frog torsos twitching and convulsing after being electrified.
"You shouldn't have come after Nadeko," i mutter as Nadeko swings the fang in her left hand, cutting through the air. "You should have just let her run away, there's no need to bother—not if you aren't going to save her. If you weren't going to, Big Brother, you could have at least rid the world of Nadeko—at least killed her."
Too weak.
Even i shudder at how cold Nadeko's words are as she looks down at him with sober eyes—it might have been because of the chilling rain, but that couldn't be all.
By now.
Nadeko must be completely coldblooded.
Even more than Miss Shinobu—far more.
Nadeko's body and mind, her blood and heart, must be cold.
Running out of Big Brother's room after landing a blow and staggering him—
Running all over the place, i ended up here at Kita-Shirahebi Shrine, where it all started. Nadeko was hiding under its floor when, sure enough, Big Brother Koyomi came after her.
Even if he had some idea, he couldn't have found Nadeko blindly.
Was he looking for her the whole time?
Just like that night—yes, probably.
He must have been.
Because Big Brother, the one Nadeko fell in love with, is that kind of person.
That sort of person and—only that sort.
"You said you were here to kill Nadeko...and to go ahead and eat her... But i bet you weren't really going to kill her or let her be eaten.
By the time you blew away the shrine hall, you must have been trying to figure out a way. Because you're always—all talk."
Sure, if this were a case of possession, there might be a way of driving it out.
Nadeko continues.
Her words are only getting colder.
"That's how you always are... It's how you always behave. You don't think about winning, let alone your odds, you do whatever comes to mind and hope for the best in a battle..."
It's just that he's immortal, and as he is now, Big Brother—Miss Shinobu, too—isn't exactly strong. He's not even fully immortal, and especially in a bad match-up, against snake venom, for instance—yes.
You can see the results. It's a "retched" sight.
"So, anyway," Nadeko says without taking her eyes off of the two.
Still staring them down—there's no point in looking at her right wrist anymore.
"What was all this? What was this about? Mister Serpent—why did it end up this way?"
"Like I've told you again and again, dear, it's all your fault—hmmmm?" the Serpent answers in a cynical tone as always, like he's picking a fight.
No—"as always" is the wrong way to put it.
Mister Serpent—the aberration called "Mister Serpent," was resurrected when Nadeko ate the talisman only a few hours ago, and is a god.
No aberration by that name existed until then.
He was only in Nadeko's mind.
"Usually, that's enough—an aberration, even a god, only exists inside each person, anyway, on the inside, not outside. image you forced on me is already a creed."
"A creed... So Nadeko used an image to create an aberration called 'Mister Serpent' in her mind?"
"Right, and then you went and revived a long-dead faith all on your own. Well, I ended up being based on a weird character thanks to that... Sheesh, talk about a delusion."
A delusion. The word sticks in Nadeko's heart.
"A delusion... So even though Nadeko thought you were her partner, she really was just seeing things, and hearing things?"
"Yep. Seeing what isn't there to see, hearing what isn't there to ear. Taking them to be messages and believing you're the chosen one—what do you call someone who does that, Nadeko?"
Hmmmm? the Serpent taunts.
i have no words.
A pitiful girl.
A painful girl.
Nadeko Sengoku.
"Fantasizing that the divine speaks to you... Whatta make-believe Joan of Arc."
No wonder i knew what i felt in the shoe cupboard was a snake, a white one at that, when Nadeko couldn't even see it from her angle.
It was her very own delusion, so how could she not know?
The reason why the white snakes only came out of closed spaces and Mister Serpent wasn't able to leave the shrine couldn't be any simpler: the delusions wouldn't add up otherwise.
Closed spaces—it's in the cracks and shadows we can't see that we're able to imagine an aberration, where we're able to be surprised.
Sounds kind of stupid, doesn't it, this talk?
Well, it's not talk, it's a tale—
"Still, it's pretty impressive you actually resurrected me, a god, like that—hsshh, hsshh. In short, Nadeko, you fabricated a narrative to make it happen."
"Fabricated—a narrative."
"If you want to know what kind of story this was, there wasn't any story to begin with."
“…”
"You made it up out of whole cloth, concocted a tale that never existed, and played out a grand adventure in your fantasies. The real Nadeko was just living her everyday, unstoried life. You've always been good at escapism, and this has got to be your biggest feat yet."
"But..." Though i'm fully aware that Mister Serpent is telling nothing but the truth, Nadeko keeps struggling against it. "If you were her delusion until now, Mister Serpent.. .you still knew things Nadeko didn't."
Drawing on her knowledge, seeming to read her mind—the easy-to-understand and far-too-specific analogies too—all of that might be explained away by him being Nadeko's delusion. But Mister Serpent also knew things that she didn't, there was no way she had any expert understanding of aberrations—
"Hsshh, hsshh. Are you kidding me? I was your delusion back then, how'd I ever possess any sort of knowledge that you didn't?"
"Th-Then why—"
"You forgot about it, that's all. You acquired a bit of expertise in June reading in that bookstore's aisles to get rid of the charm placed on you. Of course, like when you cram for a test, you've forgotten most of it—but human memories aren't consigned to total oblivion.
No matter how much you think you've forgotten—it's etched into your brain. Just like how you never forget your sins."
“...i see.”
Nadeko must have seemed ridiculous, like someone watching a taped sporting event again and again and feeling thrilled every time. If Nadeko can reread and enjoy the same book endlessly, how low-maintenance is she?
"But how did you know about Big Brother, about him and Miss Shinobu using spiritual energy at this shrine or something, the stuff that Nadeko wasn't aware of—"
"You knew that too, dear," the Serpent declares.
i can't keep asking him after such a forceful declaration—but seriously, how?
There's no way—Nadeko could have known.
Who could i have heard it from? Who...
“i’m confused in so many ways...but could you tell Nadeko, Mister Serpent? What happened to make things turn out like this?"
i'm not trying to turn back the clock. Not now.
i've gone and done it, and that's all there is to it.
But i do want to know how i got here—as a matter of responsibility.
As the responsible party, or maybe in the way of atonement.
As the victimizer, at least.
Even i—don't feel like trying to run away from reality anymore.
…
Not like there's any need to now.
"Nothing worth calling a happening happened. Your memories got jumbled up and twisted around by your fantasies, that's all—like a big, winding snake."
"Enough with the metaphors. .. Since when has Nadeko's understanding been jumbled up? Just answer that. You must know—Mister Serpent."