i don't even have the energy to argue back.
Even so.
i can't believe you... i can't believe you, Mister Serpent," Nadeko says to herself, but still audibly. Repeating the phrase over and over like some kind of plea is Nadeko's way of putting up a fight.
i'm not putting one up consciously. The best way to describe it is that i'm delirious.
"You're so mean, Mister Serpent...”
"Mean. Why are you blaming me? This is the flimsiest fit I've ever seen, hmmmm? I'm not the one who cut off your serpentine bangs. It was that Tsukihi girl, no?"
"Urrrrr."
He's right.
But honestly, Nadeko finds it hard to direct her anger at Tsukihi...and not just because Tsukihi already took some extreme punishment.
"Wh-Why, though. .. Why would she do this to Nadeko..."
"I don't think you're gonna find a reason."
Mister Serpent sounds like he's enjoying this.
Although he's merged with Nadeko, not a scrap of our emotions is linked. He's not like Miss Shinobu or Miss Black Hanekawa.
But what could he be enjoying about this?
"Basically, Nadeko, you managed to rub her the wrong way when she was bristling."
"B-Brisslin? Is that some cute anime girl who's popular now?
"No, no. It's not a nickname. Don't you know that word? It's as elementary as can be for me—whose scales are always on edge. Yes, bristling. In other words, you made Tsukihi mad."
“…”
It didn't seem that way—it didn't seem like the moody and hysterical Tsukihi's way of getting mad—still, was she mad?
The result of her anger at Nadeko.
Is that why those scissors flashed?
…
Uh-uh, no matter how mad you are, cutting off another girl's hair isn't something you do.
"Tsukihi really is scary..."
"Are you sure? You're a lot scarier from my perspective," the Serpent says.
"Why, is that..
"It's what I thought when I heard your conversation—hsshh, hsshh. I get how Tsukihi feels, a lot better than how you feel. She and I are also pretty close as far as our existences go," Mister Serpent remarks, not making any sense. "Sure, she's a bit nastier than I am." "Wh...What are you talking about?"
"Nothing. Not a thing. If you have no idea what I'm saying, it means you don't need to know. Anyway, dear, you haven't forgotten, have you? You're gonna search for my object of worship again starting tonight."
"Whoa. Don't tell me you actually did forget."
"i didn't...but i don't want to walk around much with this haircut...even if i can't do anything about school…"
And you didn't save Nadeko when she was in trouble, i grumble, but Mister Serpent doesn't seem to catch it.
Nadeko's voice was too quiet. Maybe she needs to be a little more forward.
"Um, Mister Serpent? This is just a proposal."
"Huh? A proposal?"
"i-i hope you'll listen, it has 'merrits' for both of us."
"Of course I will. You and I are trusting partners, after all."
Yeah, right...
i won't say he has a forked tongue, but well, it is a snake's.
Nadeko speaks up. The proposal benefits both of us.
"Can we stop looking for your object of worship until Nadeko's hair grows back?"
“…Where exactly in that plan do I come out ahead?!"
"Eek!"
Nadeko flinches and shrinks as Mister Serpent yells at her—well, okay, he has a point.
"Y-You might feel a sense of satisfaction because you did something Nadeko asked you to do."
"Who do you think you are?" the god retorts.
Just as i expected, he shoots down the proposal.
i let out a deep sigh.
"In that case...i can just wear a hat at night? And sunglasses, and a face mask…"
"What are you, a robber?" The Serpent sounds dumbfounded.
"You know, Nadeko, you really are hopeless. Why does it matter what your hair looks like?"
“It...It's a very important issue for a girl."
"You'll be fine. You're cute enough."
i don't know what Mister Serpent means by this—maybe he's just trying to put Nadeko at ease, maybe it's an offhanded remark not even meant to do that.
But those words.
They're like thorns to Nadeko right now.
Fangs sinking into her.
"i...”
"You?"
“I’m not cute!" i scream.
On the way to school, too—i realize i'm almost there, and it's among classmates, seniors, juniors, and even teachers that Nadeko screamed.
She instantly shuts her mouth and places her open left hand over her sealed lips before sprinting away—to quickly make it through the gates and beeline to the school building.
"Hey, hey, Nadeko, what's the matter? Why run off? People are only going to be that much more suspicious. It's when you slip up that you need to take care to right yourself."
"U-Urrrr..."
It's not just because of Mister Serpent's warning, but i finally stop by the shoe cupboards.
i can't believe i feel so uncertain without bangs.
It's not even about being cute or not...
i'm just so uneasy.
Nadeko's eyes happen to make their way over to the full-body mirror placed diagonally across from the cupboards—and though i already saw it on the way in unexpected reflections and glass angled just the right way.
i see a girl i don't know. A new character. It has to be an original character for the anime, or maybe even a game version.
There's no game version, but still.
"See? This girl isn't cute."
"Hsshh hsshh, but isn't that exactly what you wanted? You didn't like it when people were partial to you because you're cute."
"It wasn't...that i didn't..." But i can't put together a response.
"It's just hair. Who cares? You don't have to do a thing for it to grow back."
"It won't... Nadeko is going to be like this for the rest of her life."
"You know that's not true. .. What the hell? That's not even negative, just stubborn. Instead of spouting that kind of crap, why not take care of your hair and do whatever you can to help it grow faster?"
"Y-Yeah... In that case, Nadeko will do her best to become kinkier!
"Did you really just say that?"
"i'll read all the naughty books i can find!"
Apparently, Miss Kanbaru's hair grows fast because she's kinky...
Fine, i do get a strong sense that the issue lies somewhere else.
And that's not what i wanted to say, at all—but what should i say to make Mister Serpent understand the way i feel?
Anyway, i'm in the school building now—i can't keep talking to him.