"Nadeko. The question of whether or not I'd have become your friend if you weren't cute doesn't have anything to do with reality, and I think it's meaningless. In fact, I think there's all kinds of issues that come up the moment you ask that question, so I'm not answering it."
“…”
"But if you still want me to answer it, I'd have to tell you that I wouldn't have become your friend. Well, is that what you want me to say? Are you satisfied, does it make you happy? Is that what you're trying to get me to say? Do you win if I do?"
"N-No..."
"No? do you hate yourself for being cute?"
"Th-That's not it... But when they make it sound like that's all Nadeko is…”
i don't like it, i say.
i said it quietly, so Tsukihi might not have heard Nadeko.
Which is why i continue. Like it's an afterthought.
"i-i want Nadeko's worth...to be more in a place that isn't visible."
"Your worth?"
"B-Being smart, or athletic.. .or having a great personality. Something with more.. .value, even if it just happens to be the case. .. Oh, um, yeah, something more like a talent…"
"I don't think that's any different." Tsukihi shrugs, like she's gone beyond anger and has just given up. "And people with something more like a talent might feel the same way. They'd probably feel hurt if they were dismissed for not being cute. That's no reason to reject who you are."
"B-But Nadeko...isn't cute because she wants to be cute."
So.
i'm lucky because i'm cute, it's not fair, it's cheating—i hate it when people say those kinds of things.
No, i don't hate it.
It’s—tiresome.
It makes Nadeko tired, both physically and mentally.
"Being treated special just because i'm cute..."
"Makes you feel guilty," Tsukihi finishes Nadeko's line.
She's sharp—but doesn't need to be in this case.
Anyone could figure it out. As long as you aren't Nadeko.
"Is that why you grow out your bangs to hide your face?"
“…”
"I thought it was because you're shy and don't like making eye contact...but Nadeko. While you can hide your face, you can't hide the way you act, okay? You can't hide your voice. I mean, everything that makes its way out of you is cute, Nadeko."
“…”
"Then again, wanting what you don't have is human—Karen worries about how she's too tall, and I have times when I think, If only I wasn't Koyomi's little sister."
Her strength and her weakness is the same thing, and that thing is Big Brother Koyomi?
Seriously, how awkward.
Could you please not be so frank?
What would have happened to Tsukihi if she weren't Koyomi's little sister?
"I see. So that's why you grew out your bangs," Tsukihi says, as if to make sure, "And that's why you normally never dress up and always wear lame-looking clothes."
“…”
Uh-uh.
Nadeko's clothes aren't—
"That's why you have a tacky scrunchy on."
“…”
"That's why you do all of it—fine. In that case, let me give you one piece of advice that takes all of that into account."
"A-Advice?"
"Yep. Listen carefully. Umm..." Tsukihi nods before continuing. With a broad smile on her face. "I understand what you're saying, but still, you, just-cute Nadeko, didn't do anything wrong, stupid."
“...nkk!"
As decisive as could be.
It's such an awful remark that i can't even react with shock.
i know there's no room for it, but i feel like i heard her wrong.
Actually, i'm impressed by her all over again. Talking to a depressed Nadeko, Tsukihi hasn't said a single kind or comforting word yet.
Wow. She really, truly is amazing.
Meanwhile, despite everything, in the end i want to hear a kind or comforting word, which makes Nadeko feel so ashamed.
"If you hate it when people favor and praise you just because you're cute, then just work on improving other parts of yourself. Give it some effort, try your best. Why try to cancel out your cuteness instead? You've got it totally backwards, I don't get it."
"G-Give it some effort, try your best?"
"Yeah. That's what everyone does."
“…”
There's nothing i can say to that when she slips it in so casually.
Well, i know she's right, but.
i know she's very, very right, but.
"B-But, Tsukihi."
“What?”
"G-Giving it some effort, trying your best...is...tiring."
Tsukihi is silent for a moment, then says, "Nadeko, that's so you. It's that laziness of yours...or maybe lethargy, that I like about you."
"But I wonder. I don't really know, how does it feel when someone seconds your faults like that?"
"Huh?"
Tsukihi's words make Nadeko snap out of it.
Second your faults?
"Like, 'You're sloppy but I like that about you!' Or 'I love how you're so foulmouthed,' or 'I like how there's always a shadow about you!' or 'I like how you're so clumsy!' I wonder what it feels like to be told that kind of thing. Does it feel bad, or does it make you feel better, which is it?"
"Who even said that to you, anyway?
"Wh-Who..."
Tsukihi just went to her next question without waiting for Nadeko's answer to the first one.
"i, um, can't really tell you... "
"Was it Koyomi by any chance?"
"N-No... Big Brother wouldn't," i deny firmly before any false doubts get cast on him. Then again, it was a vampire mentally linked to him, Miss Shinobu Oshino, who said it to Nadeko, so maybe i don't sound too firm.
It's not like that's why, but i stick on something like a footnote.
"B-Big Brother Koyomi is kind…”
"Yeah. I know he's kind. I know that better than you. But it's exactly why he sometimes says things you don't want him to."
Things he shouldn’t, you see. No, maybe things that—he doesn't need to, Tsukihi adds.
"Wait, so you have a crush on him, don't you?"
The ace up her sleeve comes from nowhere.
And she's laid her hand right on the table.
It feels like the game changed right as i thought we were playing poker.
No, her straight question is making Nadeko want to flush, so maybe it's still poker. Right, Tsukihi doubled down.
"Wh-What might you possibly mean by that?"
i'm so shaken that i speak in a stilted way. i sound like the culprit in a classic detective novel.
Then again, that's pretty much the position i'm in...
"Wh-Where is your evidence...
"Hey, you don't need to hide it. Everyone can tell, anyway. It's so obvious. only person too dim to notice is probably Koyomi."
“…”
"I thought you might be happy you got to sleep in Koyomi's bed last night—"
Tsukihi says this.
No way.
Nadeko isn't such a shameful girl and didn't take off her yukata and sleep naked in his bed for just a second—i want to say so but can't get the words out. i'm not panicking, but i'm a step away from it.
Well, sure, for a number of reasons, Tsukihi, if no one else, would have figured it out by now...
"—And I thought it's because Koyomi said 'aren't you glad you're cute' or whatever that you're feeling bothered."
“…It wasn't him," i correct, but maybe Miss Shinobu's words did cast a gloom over Nadeko's heart.
Still.