“What?”
“When Kosugi-san talked to me, it felt like he knew exactly what I was worried about. Don’t get me wrong, he helped shed some light on a lot of things, but it was a little too coincidental. Now admit it — what did you tell him?”
“Well, obviously I had to give him an idea of who I was sending. Can’t let just anyone be around kids, right?”
“Whoa... Spoken like a real, actual teacher...”
“I do have my teaching license, y’know! Anyway, quit trying to read into everything I say. Just say thank you, damn it!”
“I should thank you for all the things some other guy said to me?”
“You’re welcome! Glad to see you’re feeling better.”
Times like these, he was kind of infuriating... but to me, he was still a good teacher. During our time together, he had probably helped me in more ways than I knew. And he wasn’t the only one. All of the teachers at Yamaboshi High School had helped me grow from a child to a young adult.
“For a while I wasn’t sure, but I think I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to stay on this track and become a teacher,” I told him, partly to reassure him.
“Good, good,” he nodded, like a proper teacher. Like an adult.
At some point in his life, through some turn of events, Gossan had arrived at this conclusion, too. And now here he was.
“Listen... All these other kids, they’re just focused on trying to get into college at all. But you? You’re looking at what lies beyond. So yeah, of course you’d worry! You’re getting way too ahead of yourself!”
As he spoke, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Then he remembered he wasn’t supposed to smoke in here and promptly put it back in his pocket.
Together, we shared a peaceful moment as the sky darkened. We didn’t need to put on airs around each other. We could simply be ourselves, and no matter what happened, it would all fade into the twilight regardless.
“There is one other thing I wanted to talk about... not necessarily with you, but just in general,” I told him. He didn’t respond, so I continued, “Lately I’ve been feeling kinda emo, and I was trying to figure out why... but now I know the answer.”
Was I embarrassed to admit it out loud? Nah, not really.
“I’m sad that I won’t get to see my friends anymore.”
In the end, that was all it was. I was sad that we were all going our separate ways — sad that high school was ending. This place held so many special memories, and I was sad that I would have to leave it behind.
“Everyone else is still distracted with entrance exams, but before long I bet they’ll start getting weepy, too.”
I still met up with all my CRC pals on an individual basis, but... how many more chances would we have to hang out in a big group with all five of us together?
Normally I was always so busy with schoolwork, I never paused to think about how sad I was. But whenever there was an idle moment, it would rise to the forefront of my mind, and the loneliness would set in.
I didn’t expect Gossan to have an answer for this, but surprisingly, he gave me one regardless.
“It’s true you’ll all be split up after graduation. You won’t be able to see each other every day, or even every week. And it’s hard to let go of the people you’ve spent so much time with.”
But we each had our own dreams to pursue.
“But knowing you folks, I’m sure you’ll find your way back to each other again. Nothing’s stopping you from making plans to meet up.”
Nothing’s stopping us.
“Don’t get me wrong — physically, you’ll be far apart. But in your hearts, you’ll always have that connection.”
Even as we lived our separate lives, we’d carry a bit of each other with us.
“I admit, I spend most of my adult life never thinking about my high school friends. But whenever I meet up with ’em, the memories always come flooding back, whether it’s been months or even years.”
As he spoke, I could almost see his teenage self come to life.
“For some reason, the dumbest memories are the ones that’ve stuck with me the longest. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve said the words ‘Why do I still remember that?’”
It was like he was back in high school all over again.
“But that’s how we keep those old friendships alive. Actually, now that we’re all getting older and uglier, we might even be better friends now than we were at the time. Our bodies are old and decrepit, but our hearts haven’t changed since high school.”
As he gazed out at nothing with a smile on his face, I wondered what he was seeing. Whatever it was, it was probably something beautiful.
“Once your hearts are connected, time and distance don’t matter.”
Our hearts could never truly occupy the same space... but bridges could be built between them.
“If you ask me, you’ve made some mighty fine friends here. Both your classmates and your clubmates.”
Definitely.
“And when you’re at college, you’ll make some more.”
Looking back on the days I’d spent thinking I’d never make friends, I felt intensely embarrassed for myself. But at the same time, it felt so far away. Back then, I was so sensitive and self-conscious — I thought I was special. But those feelings had faded over time, and now I felt like I’d truly grown up. Still, I wasn’t mad at myself for having an immature phase, and I didn’t feel the need to eradicate those feelings entirely. In the end, it was what formed the foundation of who I was as a person. Sure, I wasn’t special, but I was one of a kind.
During my time in high school, I’d met dozens of people, some of whom helped me when I needed it most, and I’d built some incredible friendships. But while it hurt to be apart from them, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that our connection would never fade. Our parting was painful, but it wouldn’t hurt forever.
Besides, I was really looking forward to college. College was going to be bigger and better than high school ever was, and I couldn’t even imagine what great friendships were waiting for me there!
“Now then, folks, sorry for the wait, but it’s time to announce the winner of the Christmas Costume Competition! After that, we’ll be doing a bingo tournament!”
“Welp, I’d say I’ve done my job as a teacher for tonight. Guess I’ll get going. Behave yourselves, alright?”
And so, following the announcement from the stage, Gossan wandered out of the room. But here’s what was really aggravating about him: For a moment there, I actually found myself wishing I could be like him someday. Minus the lazy, irresponsible, kinda inappropriate aspects of him, that is.