“You’re pretty good, Yaegashi-kun,” Nakayama murmured, swallowing hard as she wiped the sweat from her brow.
“Who the hell came up with this?! It doesn’t even explain how the winner is determined!” Himeko raged, her face beet-red. But it wasn’t just anger that was heating her up.
“Nakayama, you’re next. Are you prepared? I’m guessing you’ll need to submit something on par with Yaegashi’s entry or the crowd won’t accept it,” Ishikawa told her, looking both concerned and somewhat grim. It was rare to see him outwardly oppose anything.
“Who’s next?!”
“C’mon, get real mushy!”
“Or maybe just get a room!”
The crowd was enjoying this a little too much for Taichi’s liking.
“It’s my turn,” Nakayama declared. Then she cleared her throat and continued, “Well, you see, I’m in a relationship with Ishikawa-kun, and... lately we’ve been going on dates at the park. And I’ve been making little picnic lunches to take with us, right? See, I’m pretty good at Japanese food, and I want my boyfriend to enjoy my cooking, so I usually make stew or stir-fry. It’s nothing special; 90 percent of everything I cook is the same brown color... but Ishikawa-kun still tells me it tastes good, so... Heehee...”
“Humblebrag!”
“Yeah! You’re just bragging!”
It was a humblebrag, but it clearly got a reaction out of the audience, so by that metric, Nakayama had passed with flying colors.
Next up, Kiriyama.
“This might be the turning point for the whole battle,” Himeko murmured as she stood next to Taichi.
“You think she can’t do it?” he asked.
“Damn right I don’t,” she replied.
Kiriyama stood front and center, staring at the ground and fidgeting with the hem of her gym shirt.
“I’m in a relationship with Aoki, and... well, for one thing he’s really stupid, and not very manly. He’s tall, but in a beanpole kind of way, and he’s stupid, and clumsy...”
“Y-You already said the stupid part,” Aoki whimpered quietly.
“But when we’re alone, he can be really cool... and sweet... so yeah... I don’t know how other people feel about him, but... I love him.”
“SHO KYUUUUTE!!!” the crowd squealed.
Kiriyama’s face was on fire as she shrank into herself, like she was trying to disappear. Admittedly it was rather cu— “Ouch!”
“Don’t start swooning for some other guy’s girlfriend! Yours is right here!”
“...Could you please quit spying on my internal narration?”
“I’m just saying... I love you WAY more than she loves him,” Himeko muttered as she turned her face away sulkily.
“Thank you, Himeko... I love you, too.”
Reflexively, he reached out to her—
“Could you guys at least wait your turn to start doing that?” Ishikawa muttered.
“Wha?!” Taichi yelped.
“We weren’t doing anything,” Himeko grumbled.
“Sorry, it was just a thought I had. I’m impressed you can afford to get distracted at a time like this,” Ishikawa continued.
“I know, right? Knowing them, they’re totally the type to start kissing in the middle of a crowd!” Nakayama remarked.
“No we don’t! Only in a dark movie theater at most!” Himeko hissed.
“Again, that’s the kind of thing you should tell the audience, not us,” Ishikawa replied.
“I’m pretty sure the audience would start booing,” said Taichi. He was starting to get a little worried, and for more reasons than one.
Meanwhile, Aoki jogged up to take his turn.
“Yui! Thank you so much! That was so sweet, and I... Man, I really love you!”
“Ugh! Stop!”
It was so blunt, the audience cheered and applauded like crazy.
“So pure!”
“So sweet!”
“Living the dream!”
“Hell yeah! Thanks, guys! Get out there and live your dreams, too!” Aoki responded with a smile. This battle format was practically designed with him in mind.
“I’m falling asleep over here. Hurry it up,” Himeko jeered bitterly.
“Alrighty then, here I go!”
Meanwhile, Kiriyama had lost her chance to retreat to the sidelines and was now stuck standing in the middle next to him.
“Okay, uh, what’s something I can tell them... Oh, I know. Whenever we kiss, Yui always—”
“DON’T TELL THEM THAAAAAAAAT!”
“GWAAAAGH! Gppphh!”
Her foot collided with his family jewels, and he collapsed to the ground. KO.
And so Team Kiriyama was eliminated from the battle.
“Nakayama is the first girlfriend I’ve ever had. Therefore, I plan to spend all of my ‘firsts’ with her.”
“M-Me, too, Ishikawa-kun!”
“Awww, they’re each other’s firsts!”
“So innocent!”
“That’s so sweet!”
“I love it!”
In his first one-on-one round, Ishikawa pulled off a faithful, dedicated proclamation of love, and the crowd ate it up. Then, at last, it was Himeko’s turn.
“Himeko, don’t feel pressured to go outside your comfort zone. No matter what you say, I promise, I won’t—”
“Actually, just come with me.”
“Huhwha?”
Right when he was trying to send her off, she dragged him along with her to the center of the ring. But even with close to a hundred pairs of eyes on him, he didn’t feel nervous. If anything, he was more worried about what kind of stunt she was about to pull.
“I’m putting an end to this farce once and for all!”
“Inaba-saaaan!”
“She’s so badass!”
“Why’s Yaegashi with her?”
“Listen up, people! As of this very moment, I... I mean, we,” Himeko called in a loud voice, “are going to kiss!”
“OHHHHHH!”
“But that’s R-rated!”
“Are they seriously going to?!”
“Are we?!”
All at once, the crowd was ON FIRE. People were dancing, singing, shaking each other — it was pure pandemonium. Then they started chanting:
“KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!”
Meanwhile, Taichi struggled to think.
“But isn’t it against the rules...? Well, maybe not... Kissing is PG-13, I guess...” he mused, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. “Are you sure about this, Himeko?”
Kissing... in front of all these people? Even if they asked everyone not to take any pictures, there was bound to be at least one rule-breaker among them. Those pictures could then get passed around the whole school. This was a huge gamble.
As her boyfriend, he wanted to be supportive... but it was also his duty to protect her from making mistakes.
“Himeko, we don’t need to take this risk. We can still win this with our couple stories.”
“Dummy. Can’t you see? I’m doing this because I don’t want to take any risks.”
He didn’t understand what she meant by that, but it was too late; she was already leaning in. He didn’t have time to think. In the background, he could vaguely hear the crowd shrieking, but it all sounded so distant—