It was obvious how Inaba was planning to have them prove their identities.
“Good call. That’s probably the simplest way to prove we are who we say we are. So, ask me anything and I’ll answer it... though it might be tricky to think of something that you and I both know, but Nagase doesn’t...”
“Oh, we won’t need to worry about that,” Inaba replied confidently, dismissing his concerns with a wave of her hand. “Now then, I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to answer it on the spot. No pausing to think.”
Inaba leaned forward and drew her face close to his. She was far more seductive than a girl his age had any right to be. Swallowing his panic, [Nagase] (Taichi) firmly returned her gaze.
“Bring it on.”
“I want an answer within milliseconds, got it?”
“I got it, I got it.”
“Alright, here we go.” Inaba took a deep breath and blurted out, “What’s the title of the last porno you borrowed from Aoki?!”
“Big-Breasted High School Gi—HEY! Don’t ask me that! And... and how would you even know the answer to that in the first place?!” Taichi babbled, embarrassed at the words that had nearly slipped out of his mouth at full volume.
“Whoa... It’s not every day we get to see Taichi lose his cool! Wait... Now that I think about it, how does Inabacchan know about our little deal?!” Aoki protested.
“That’s not important right now! What’s important is that we can use Aoki to confirm your answer. Now then, Taichi. Spill it.”
Her expression was dead serious, but Taichi could see a hint of glee in her eyes.
He glanced around at Kiriyama and [Taichi] (Nagase). Kiriyama was eyeing him suspiciously, her face bright red.
And then there was Nagase, who was shooting him a reproachful look, made even worse by the fact that she was using his own face to do it. “Big-Breasted, huh?” she parroted dryly.
“L-Listen, Inaba-san... Is there any chance you could let me just whisper it into Aoki’s ear?”
After a moment of silence, Inaba jerked her head in Aoki’s direction.
Relieved, [Nagase] (Taichi) decided to get it over with before she changed her mind. He rushed over to Aoki and whispered the title into his ear.
“Well, Aoki?”
“We got ourselves a winner, Commander Inaba! Plus I got to hear [Iori-chan] talk dirty! Totally worth it!”
“Wait, what the? I feel like I got the short end of the stick in this deal... Maybe I should bill him for it later...” [Taichi] (Nagase) mumbled to herself. Evidently she had some interesting opinions on Aoki’s stupid little comment.
“Alright then. Now that we know both of these dipshits like ’em big, it’s time to find out whether the person in [Taichi’s body] is indeed Iori.”
“Y-You don’t think she’s using this as an opportunity to get revenge on us for teasing her earlier, do you?” [Nagase] (Taichi) whimpered fearfully.
“I wouldn’t wanna get on her bad side, that’s for sure...” Clearly even Kiriyama was feeling a little intimidated.
Inaba stood up, walked over to where [Taichi] (Nagase) sat, and whispered something in [his] ear. Instantly, Nagase began to choke.
“Holy crap... I-Inaban, are you serious?!”
“Dead serious,” Inaba declared.
“Y-You... You didn’t have to tell me...!”
[Taichi] (Nagase) clapped [his] hands over [his] eyes and slid down in her seat. Whatever Inaba said, it must have been something completely nuts.
“Wow... I guess we’re all growing up...” she sniffled.
What on earth could have elicited a reaction like that? Taichi was dying to know.
Stone-faced, Inaba collapsed back into her seat and stared at the ceiling. “People swapping bodies in real life... Alright, fine, I’ll believe you.”
At this, the other four gasped and cheered at their hard-earned victory.
“I asked myself, what’s more likely? That Taichi could learn to wear his emotions on his sleeve, or that body-swapping is real? And in the end, I chose the latter.”
“I don’t even know how to respond to that... And why are the rest of you all nodding like it makes total sense?!” Taichi had half a mind to find out exactly what the others really thought of him.
“So, okay. Let’s say we’ve determined that Iori and Taichi have switched bodies... What now?”
Inaba had brought up a very important question.
“Heheh! What now, indeed!” [Taichi] (Nagase) chuckled.
“I notice you’re having fun playing the role of the comic relief today,” Inaba commented dryly.
“Let’s hear more about what happened when Aoki and Kiriyama switched bodies the other night. You guys went back to normal at some point, right?” [Nagase] (Taichi) asked, his optimism tempered at best.
“Hmm, let’s see... The other night, around 3 AM or so? I randomly woke up, and my bed felt all different, so I looked around and noticed I was in a room I didn’t recognize. So I got a little freaked out and started searchin’ the whole room top to bottom. Then I saw my reflection in the mirror and was like, wait, isn’t that [Yui]? So then I got even more freaked out, but right as I was about to tear my hair out, I suddenly found myself back in my own bed. The end! It was pretty much the same for you, right, Yui?”
“Yeah, for the most part... In my case, I thought it was like all just a bad dream, so the second I saw my reflection in the mirror I crawled straight back into bed. It was so crazy... I didn’t even care that the bed wasn’t mine... Oh, and when I found myself in my room again... and in [my own body] again... I noticed the place was a total mess.” Kiriyama shot Aoki a dirty look.
“I... I’m really sorry!” Aoki apologized profusely.
“Hmmm... So how long would you say it lasted, all told?” [Taichi] (Nagase) asked Aoki.
“Less than an hour for sure... I wanna say thirty, forty minutes?”
“That’s it? This is one bizarre phenomenon... Well, I guess it’s bizarre regardless, but still...” Inaba grimaced.
“I think maybe it wears off over time. Or maybe something else trig—”
Before he could finish his sentence, Taichi’s consciousness went black, almost as if someone had pulled the plug on his brain.
“—Hey! You alright?!”
The loud voice rattled around in his head. Wincing, Taichi opened his eyes.
All at once, his surroundings returned exactly as they were before.
No, wait. Something was different.
Inaba had been sitting diagonally across from him moments ago, but now she was directly in front of him. Aoki and Kiriyama had changed positions, too. But most importantly, someone in Nagase’s body was now looking at him. This could only mean one thing.
“We’re back to normal!” Nagase and Taichi exclaimed in unison, both beaming brightly.
“Gimme a break...” Inaba mumbled, sliding lower in her seat.
By the end of the day, Vice President Inaba ordered the members of the CRC to keep the body-swapping situation to themselves for now, and then they all went home.