Realistically, though, she probably just didn’t care.
“I get where you’re coming from, I really do... That said, I can’t imagine guys our age give a shit about sex appeal. Ask any dude you know and he’d probably say he prefers the sweet and innocent type,” Inaba argued.
“No way. Teenage boys in our generation are all about sophisticated seduction. That’s what my gut tells me.”
“Your gut. Right,” Taichi muttered under his breath.
At that, the two girls whirled around to face him.
“Aha! Come to think of it, we have one such teenage boy right here! Taichi, which would you prefer?” Inaba asked.
“Yeah, Taichi! If you had to choose, who would you rather see naked, me or Inaban?”
What a loaded question.
But Taichi knew he had no choice but to give them some kind of answer. He closed his eyes for a moment to ponder it, then said: “Well, if I’m being asked to represent the entire male population here at Yamaboshi High, the answer would be ‘both’—”
“‘3:55 PM: Yaegashi Taichi ordered two female club members to take off their clothing.’ Did you get all of that, Inaban?” Nagase cut in.
“Of course. Now we have the perfect editorial note for this month’s issue.”
Inaba smirked as her fingers flew across the keyboard.
“W-Well, I can’t exactly argue when I did technically say it...”
Taichi slumped his shoulders in defeat. He knew he couldn’t win against them, no matter how hard he tried... Sadly, there was no beating the established power structure in the CRC.
Thirty minutes ticked by as Nagase read some manga, Inaba continued to work on her laptop, and Taichi studied for the next day’s lesson. There was supposed to be a scheduled club meeting today, but the last two members had yet to show up.
Taichi’s pen fell still.
“Come to think of it... Aoki was acting kinda weird in gym class earlier today...” he muttered to himself, not expecting much in the way of a response. Unlike Taichi, Aoki was in Class 1-A, but that didn’t mean they never saw each other; classes 1-A and 1-C shared a joint gym class.
Inaba straightened up and shot Taichi a questioning look.
“Now that you mention it, Yui wasn’t acting like herself at all, either.”
“Yeah? Do you think something’s going on with them? Maybe Aoki’s aggressive courting finally paid off or something?”
“Hah! No, that can’t be it. The way things stand, those two will never get together. Not until that dipshit realizes where he’s going wrong.”
At that, the door quietly slid open, and the subjects of their conversation stumbled into the room: Aoki Yoshifumi and Kiriyama Yui.
Aoki was a lanky youth with medium-length wavy hair. Personality-wise, he was either a laid-back, easygoing dork or a brainless moron, depending on how you looked at him.
Kiriyama wore her hair long—shiny brown strands that could sometimes look red under the right light, though it was her natural color. Beneath her shapely brows sat a pair of defiant, upturned eyes. Though she was petite in stature, her body was far from undeveloped; her muscular limbs hinted at a regular exercise routine and gave her an air of vibrant energy.
As one might expect at first glance, the two of them were fairly cheerful people... usually. And yet, for some reason, today the two seemed completely miserable—exhausted, even.
Taichi, Nagase, and Inaba all moved to one side of the table as Aoki and Kiriyama took their seats on the other side. They sat there, silent and pale, occasionally shooting each other furtive glances.
“So, uh... What’s... going on with you two?” Nagase asked, taking the initiative to break the oppressive silence.
“Well, uh... I mean, I do wanna tell ya, but I’m kinda not sure how...” Aoki replied hesitantly, scratching his head. He typically wore his uniform a little loosely, but today he was a downright mess.
Next to him, Kiriyama was staring down at the corner of the table, absently playing with a lock of her hair.
“Seriously, guys, what happened? I can tell something’s on your mind, so just talk to us about it. Let us help you,” Taichi urged.
“Thanks, dude. For real. Okay, here we go. I’m gonna explain everything. It’s just... We both agreed we were gonna tell you, but now that we’re here, it’s kinda scary... Seriously though, it takes a lot of guts to tell you what I’m about to—”
“Just spit it out already!” Inaba snapped, interrupting him.
“R-Right!” Aoki squeaked, nodding.
Inaba had no patience for shenanigans.
Aoki took a deep breath, then looked over at Kiriyama for confirmation.
Kiriyama grimaced and nodded.
With her blessing, Aoki began to speak.
“Alright guys, the truth is, last night...”
The room went dead silent as everyone waited with bated breath. Aoki let the silence hang in the air for a moment... Then, finally, he screamed—
“WE SWITCHED BODIES!”
“What?” Inaba and Taichi asked in unison.
“Hahahaha... Huh?” Nagase faltered.
The three of them were completely baffled.
“I’m tellin’ ya, me and Yui switched bodies! Just like in a manga—aack!”
“Oho! Nice karate chop!” Taichi remarked, genuinely impressed at the speed and accuracy with which Inaba dealt Aoki his punishment.
“Wh-What the heck was that for, Inabacchan?!”
“Decent setup, but your punchline sucked ass.”
“No! I swear, it’s not a joke! I’m like, totally dead serious here, dude!”
“Honestly, I’m more stunned by the fact that Inaba’s willing to hit people who make bad jokes,” Taichi mused aloud.
“So, if you guys swapped bodies, then does that mean you’re actually Yui? You still look and sound as dumb as ever, though.”
“Swapped bodies, as in PAST TENSE! We’re back to normal now! And Iori-chan, could you maybe not gut me like that?! Didn’t anyone ever teach you that matter-of-fact comments hurt the most?!”
Using wide, exaggerated gestures, Aoki recounted his tale of trading bodies with Kiriyama, desperate to convince them he was telling the truth. It was clear he wasn’t joking, but everything he said was so preposterous, it left Taichi and the others at a complete loss.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough from you... Good grief. Yui, do you have anything you’d like to say regarding Aoki’s claim?” an annoyed Inaba asked Kiriyama, who had yet to say a single word on the subject.
Kiriyama stared at the ground, clutching at her hair, and shook her head. The chestnut-colored strands grew more and more frazzled with her agitation until finally she opened her mouth to speak.
“...He has to be lying. That can’t have been real. I mean, it totally doesn’t make sense. I was Aoki, and he was me? Yeah, no way. There’s like no way!” Her voice grew louder and louder until eventually she jumped to her feet. “I’m telling you, it was all just a bad dream!” Then she shifted into a fighting stance that would’ve looked right at home on the cover of Street Fighter. “I don’t believe in paranormal stuff! There’s nothing good ol’ science can’t explain! Yes, I’ve made my decision... Aoki! Leave me out of your creepy fantasies! Body swapping? Hah! That trope fell out of fashion years ago!”
“Are... Are you seriously turnin’ on me right now?! Didn’t we just agree it was real life?!”
“It was... temporary insanity! I can’t be held accountable for my actions!”
“I don’t exactly follow, but I do get the feeling this is an incredibly dramatic betrayal,” Taichi remarked, knowing his comment was unnecessary.
“You seriously think that was just a dream?!”
“You’re darn right I do! It was just an overly lifelike dream! Now come on, Aoki! Wake up already!” By this point Kiriyama was so worked up, she was practically having a manic episode.
“So you’re tellin’ me we had the exact same dream where we switched bodies at the exact same time? And we both somehow managed to dream about each other’s rooms with pinpoint accuracy even though we’d never been there before? And the things I moved around in the dream magically also got moved in real life?”
“Why not? Sometimes a lot of small coincidences happen at the same time! Call it a miracle!”
“Sure, and ya know what else would be a miracle? Me and you switchin’ bodies!”
“Of all people, why with YOU?!” Kiriyama howled.
“Well, it’s probably fate or whatever! Ties from a past life or something! Honestly, at this point, you might as well just go out with me already!”
“What kind of leap of logic is that?” Taichi retorted, though neither of them appeared to have heard him.
“UGGGGHHHH! This is why I can’t stand you!” Kiriyama shuddered and backed away into the corner.
“...So which is it, you two? I don’t care if it’s some weird fantasy or delusion or whatever. Just tell us what happened,” Inaba muttered. She sounded well and truly fed up.
“We don’t need to talk about it, Inaba! Aoki and I never switched! It never happened! I could maybe see it happening with Iori, but never with Aoki! Absolutely not! Not on your life! Denied! That creep’s just making stuff up about me...!” Kiriyama wailed as she threw her arms around Nagase.
“There, there...” Nagase cooed, stroking Kiriyama’s back as though she were a particularly rambunctious puppy.
“Wait, what? So you refuse to accept it just because it happened with me?” Aoki’s shoulders slumped.
“Hang in there, buddy,” Taichi said, clapping him on the shoulder. He still didn’t quite understand what was going on, but he could empathize, at least.
As for whether Aoki and Kiriyama did or didn’t switch bodies, the debate went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth...
Eventually Taichi and Nagase started their own running commentary of the argument, pondering whether it might simply have been a symptom of food poisoning or something, until Inaba finally snapped.
“Enough! All of you, chill the fuck out and GO HOME!”
With that, their regularly scheduled meeting was officially postponed.