“Oh, you mean the parent-child-relationship one?”
“Wow! Got it in one! How’d you know?”
“We just took it at school.”
“Hunh…? Y-you did? Ma-kun, you didn’t say a word about it!”
“I don’t tell you everything, do I? And let go of me!”
His mom was snuggling up to him like a needy pet.
“So… Ms. Shirase, are we done with the survey?”
“No, just taking a short break because you jumped out of your seat the moment your son arrived. You certainly do seem to love him very much.”
“The feeling’s not mutual.”
“Whaaat?! Ma-kun, you love me, too, right? I know you do!”
“Gawd, just stop! And learn the concept of personal boundaries already! Also, stop calling me that awful nickname! I told you it’s embarrassing! Try to remember!”
“B-but…you’ll always be Ma-kun to me. I’ve always called you Ma-kun, so I just keep calling you Ma-kun! But if you don’t like Ma-kun, I’ll have to think of something to call you besides Ma-kun…”
“Just…stop talking!”
No matter how many times he pushed her away, she kept moving in close.
“Um, anyway, Ms. Shirase…I’m sure my mom’s running you ragged, but please carry on with your survey.”
“I will certainly try… Oh, one thing, if I may. The goal of the exercise is to get each parent’s and child’s opinions independent of one another, so…”
“So you don’t want us to know what the other says? You don’t want me eavesdropping on what you’re doing here?”
“Exactly. I see I had no need to inform you of that! Despite my name dictating that as my sole function in life!”
“Sorry about that… But, like, my mom’s answers…?”
When he was told not to listen, human nature made him want to do just that.
And if the answers were going to be what his mom actually thought of him?
What does she really think? I guess I’m a little curious…
But Shirase was conducting a formal government survey. If Masato eavesdropped and leaked info, that could cause a lot of trouble. He’d better do what she said.
“…Got it. I’ll hole up in my room, then.”
“Thank you for understanding. As soon as we’re done, I will come inform you. Until then, please relax in your room as you see fit. After all, shirase means ‘inform’!”
“Understood. I’ll be going, then!”
“Wait, Ma-kun! We’re still discussing what I should call you!”
“Don’t care.”
He dodged another of his mom’s advances and ran upstairs.
✦ ✦ ✦
In the living room, after Masato’s exit, Mamako wiped her tears with a tissue, blew her nose, wiped her tears, blew her nose, blew her nose again, and finished off the box of tissues while explaining the delicate heart of a mother with a teenage boy.
“…I mean, I do try to understand. Ma-kun’s in high school now—of course it’s embarrassing to be close with his mom.”
“It does seem like that’s part of it. We’ve seen a number of similar results from the cabinet survey. I can inform you this is entirely typical. As my name means inform, you know that information must be true.”
“But I still want to be close to my own child. He’s the only one I’ve got!”
“Any mother would wish the same. I have a daughter of my own, so I understand.”
“You do? How old is she?”
“She’s five. Still quite a handful!”
“Five… Yes, indeed… They can walk around on their own and say all kinds of things but still throw their arms around your legs, crying ‘Mommy!’”
Remembering her own son at that age, Mamako’s expression grew even gloomier.
“Part of me wishes we could still be like we were then. But Ma-kun doesn’t seem up for it. I bought him a computer when he got into high school, but all he’s done since is play games. He barely speaks to me at all anymore.”
“Yes, he did seem to be trying to end the conversation quickly. Short responses like ‘The usual,’ ‘Nah,’ ‘I’m good,’ and ‘Yeah.’ But really, that’s just your typical teenager. I believe all you can do is maintain the right distance.”
“Yes… But that’s easier said than done…”
“True enough. Hmm… A typical teenage boy… This level of friction might be just about right. Hmm…”
Shirase thought for a moment, then quietly made up her mind and removed a document from her bag.
MMMMMORPG (WORKING TITLE) REGISTRATION FORM
She placed this document in front of Mamako.
“Then…you’ll accept my application?!”
“Yes. I believe the Oosuki family meets the conditions to participate in the program. Therefore, I will allow you to join. You’ll have to get ready at once.”
“R-right! What do I need…? I’ll have to get Ma-kun’s shoes first! Oh, and! We’ll have to tell Ma-kun all about it!”
“I will inform your son. Such is my name; such is my duty.”