Chapter 186

“I knew Mamako would come in at the end. But…at least I got a turn! There’s still hope!” “I’m proud of my contributions. I’m sure I’ll be in the commercial as the true heroine.” “We did what we could. The rest is in the hands of those above… O Heavens! I’m the Hero you chose! Help me out here!” With hope in their hearts, faith in an idealized future, they failed to hear the quiet chuckle from the gem-buried coffin. A few days after the filmed quest, Shiraaase sent them a letter. An invitation to a test screening for the completed commercial. “Medhi, is my hair all right? Anything out of place?” “I doubt anyone will notice if it is. You’re still Wise.” “God, so mean. ’Kay, that means I get to borrow your lipstick. Wait, this is mine!” “Yo, girls, knock it off. It’s time to go!” The girls were paying extra-close attention to their appearance…and had been at it for two hours, so Masato had to drag them from the inn. The screening was in a public auditorium in Catharn. A big building, like a temple, with a line of guests outside. Villagers, adventures—well over a hundred. “It’s open to the public? Yikes, now I’m nervous.” “Me too! Oohhh…” “All we’re doing is watching it together! Let’s relax and enjoy it! Whoo!” Mamako was her usual self and led the way to the staff entrance, which opened into the lobby. It felt like everyone here was staring at them…and just as that was getting unbearable, Shiraaase arrived. “Thank you for taking the time to join us here. Your contributions have allowed us to create a true masterpiece. Please enjoy.” “G-great…” Even Shiraaase was making them nervous somehow. They took seats at the back of the theater. Shiraaase, Masato, Mamako, Porta, Wise, and Medhi, all in a row, waiting for the moment to arrive. “A great many people are about to see the Hero’s party in action. Can you tell us how that feels?” Shiraaase asked Masato. “How I feel right now? Uh…” “If people are so impressed with my magic that they form a fan club, I won’t know what to do! Mwa-ha-ha.” “Wise, never fear. That won’t happen. However, I should prepare a box to hold all the presents they send me.” “I…uh…will just be happy if I’m in it at all!” “Porta, dear, you worked very hard. I’m sure there’s lots of you. Hee-hee.” “And back to you, Hero. The party leader—Masato! Speak now.” “For the wrap-up? Okay, leave it to me. I got this.” He cleared his throat and thumped his chest. “I have but one wish. That the sight of our adventures gives people hopes and dream—” “Oops, out of time. Silence, please.” “Argh…I should have known…” The theater dimmed, and images appeared on-screen. It was starting. Our…no, my heroic endeavors! The adventure documentary depicting the everyday lives of the Oosuki family and their party… …began with Masato waking up. “It’s morning! Wake up! …You just won’t get up, huh? Well, Mommy’s gonna have to use a little morning magic! Mm…mwah!” Mamako was next to his bed, pretending to kiss him awake. Only the top of Masato’s head was shown. End scene. Next was breakfast. “Here you go. Eat up!” A close-up of Mamako holding out a bowl, smiling. Then Porta cheerily eating. Rice stuck to her cheeks. Cute. Really cute. Once breakfast was over, they headed for the Adventurers Guild. “Oh, what’s that?” A momentary glimpse of the backs of Wise’s and Medhi’s heads. Mamako and Porta pointing at the quest posting, talking. Dramatic background music obscured what they actually said. Now it was time for the adventure! Exploring the swamp. “How lovely! The water seems quite clean. Perfect for children to play in!” “Indeed, but this is a ‘field,’ which means monsters spawn on it, and I can infooorm you it is quite unfit for unaccompanied children. As my name is Shiraaase!” “Oh dear! Then make sure you stay close to Mommy!” A caption appeared, reading Staff provide generous assistance, and the screen showed Shiraaase looking directly into the camera, walking along the wooden planks next to Mamako. A relaxed scene of two moms strolling along… But then! “Oh dear! It sprayed me with water! Mommy’s positively dripping!” A sudden spurt of water drenched Mamako, leaving her dress translucent! That was bad enough, but… “Something behind—? Oh no, I’m not falling for that! Hee-hee!” Mamako smiled, and a moment later she was covered head to toe in goo, her clothes dissolving… Mamako in a bikini, dual-wielding, on the offensive! “Only bad monsters make Mommy strip! You need to be punished! Hyah!” Two-hit multi-target attacks annihilated the slimes. Yay! Mommy won. And… “Hee-hee! Mommy did her best!” Mamako was jumping up and down, delighted, making everything heave. A new caption appeared: Do you love your mom and her two-hit multi-target attacks? An excessively long caption, getting in the way, hiding the bouncing boobs. There was a magnificent fanfare as the commercial reached its finale. The screening ended to thunderous applause. “Why’d they have to add that long caption? So frustrating!” “I get it, but they’ve gotta make it fit for general audiences.” “Maybe we’ll get the uncensored version on the disc release?” “They’d better! I’d buy it!” The audience departed, chattering excitedly. Leaving Masato’s party. “We were literally just extras.” “Yes. Rather predictable, really.” Wise and Medhi were staring dead-eyed again, devoid of expression. “Wow! I had no idea I would be in it so much!” “Hee-hee-hee. Isn’t that nice? Anyone who sees this video will want to have a family adventure of their own! Won’t that be lovely?” Porta and Mamako were all smiles. And… “Go on, Masato. A few words in summation, if you would,” said Shiraaase. “Right. Everyone, lend me your ears.” Masato got to his feet, turned to his party, and took a bow. One, two… “That was all Moooooooooooooooooooooom!!” His scream echoed through the theater. The place had excellent acoustics.