Chapter 180

“Oh? Have we met?” one of Masako’s companions asked the trio. “Nah, we don’t get out much, so this is a first!” “No wonder I didn’t recognize you! …Well, since you’ve made it here, you really should chat with Mamako. Make way, ladies!” “Thank you so much.” The other mothers stepped aside, letting the new arrivals surround Masako. “H-hi, nice to meet you…” he said. “Yeah, hi, moving right along, tell us everything that’s cool about your son,” said the first mom. “He’s very handsome! He’d never admit it himself, but I’m his mother, so I can say that with pride!” “How old was he when you stopped bathing together?” asked the second mom. “Five…but for certain reasons, also last night…” “Wo—I mean, how lovely! I want my family to be as close as yours!” chirped the third. “How can I do that?” “Raise your child’s endurance levels. That’s the key to everything.” The more this was based on personal experience, the more confident he was. But then a bell rang out—the clattery kind they used when drawing raffle numbers. “Your attention, please! All this commotion has drawn in something extra special!” “Dude, they’re gonna do one of those sales demonstrations moms love so much! Don’t miss out, man!” Mone and Mamasato were pointing down the street. Several wagons were approaching. “Ooh, sounds neat.” “This is what mothers do for fun. We’ll have to join in.” “Masa—I mean, Mamako! Come mom with us!” “No, I… Aughhh…” He was not given a chance to refuse. The mom trio grabbed Masako and dragged him toward the sales demonstration line. “Yo, Ma-Mom! Let’s enjoy this together!” “You’re way too wound up about this…” Mamasato secured a position right next to him. And a man in a flashy suit came out to start the demonstration. “Hello, lovely ladies! Are you ready? We’ve got a very special product for you today! Can I get a holler?” ““““Whooo!”””” Clap, clap, clap! Like the crowd, the three new moms were all clapping and shrieking. There was one male voice mixed in, but thinking about that would just make Masako sad, so he ignored it. “What’s so exciting about this? I don’t get it at all…” “Don’t be silly! This is that shopping network thing! Easy-peasy.” “Any mom would get excited. Unless…wait…” “Oh, right! I’m also a mom! Eeek!” Clap, clap! Couldn’t get caught. Summoning the last of his energy reserves, Masako desperately tried to act like an excited mom. The salesman put a frying pan on a fire gem burner and started frying up a fish. “Observe! This frying pan can cook fish at this heat—but look! It doesn’t stick! It’s still clean! Whoo!” ““““Whoo!”””” “We’re in an RPG… Use that tech to make a shield or something…” “Um, what? Is that what a mom would say?” The ex-delinquent mother shot him a glare. Can’t get caught! “Wh-whoo! Lovely! Nonstick pans are the best!” “Thank you for your support!” said the salesman. “Well, since you’re so excited, Mamako Oosuki, why don’t you come up here and demonstrate?” “…Huh?” “Good luck, Mamako.” “Whoa—I mean, nice! I’ll cheer for you!” “Ma-Mom! Go for it, dude!” The elegant mom and shoulder bag mom—and Mamasato, too—all pushed him forward. Masako would have to give a demonstration. “Go right ahead, Mamako!” “Argh, fine! …Oh my! This fish really doesn’t stick! Golly! I want one!” ““““So do I!”””” Masako’s words lit a fire under the crowd, and they started lining up to buy. He was a hopeless cook, and if even he could keep the fish from burning, the product was clearly legit. “Let’s keep it going! Our next product is the exercise ball! You can tone yourself just rolling around on top of it! Isn’t that nice?” ““““Too nice!”””” “Mamako, if you’d be so kind?” “I’m still demoing?!” Masako wound up planking on top of the balance ball. “Amazing!” “You could have a figure like hers!” Mamako had been in shape to begin with. This sales technique was clearly a con. “Th-that’s all, right…?” “Well, Mamako, if you’d introduce our next product?” “Am I even getting paid for this?!” He went from one introduction to another: “Natural pearl necklace!” “Look at the size of those pearls!” “Luxury brand bag!” “Perfect for a sudden errand!” “A collagen drink!” “For smooth skin!” The moms mobbed the stage, buying everything. I can’t…I’m dying…literally… Masako’s HP had long since hit zero. But even decked out in a pearl necklace and brand bag, with a nonstick pan and collagen drink in each hand, perched on a balance ball… “And now for our next product! Mamako?” “I can’t—I can’t—I can’t…” “Oh, come now! Wait till you see this!” The salesman took out a very familiar mirror. He tapped the screen… And was covered in light. Replaced by—a notoriously unflappable mysterious nun. Shiraaase. “This MOD mirror is limited to only one mom here! What do you say?” “…Name your price.” Once again, he wanted to give her the biggest smack of her life, but he definitely didn’t have that much energy left. Evening. The symposium had concluded, and the party was back at the Mom Shop for cleanup. “…That was the hardest day ever…” Masato was back in his own body, flat out on the table, long past moving. Mamako was restored as well and placing a cup of hot cocoa next to him. “Great job, Ma-kun! Takes a lot out of you, doesn’t it?” “Yeah…but at least we didn’t get caught.” They smiled at each other, relieved… “Well? We wanna let him think that?” “The whole body swap thing? I noticed, too! Are you just gonna keep that to yourselves? How long were they like that?” “Ever since the four of us went out delivering flyers, Mone.” “They seemed way closer than usual, so I kept quiet!” The girls were sipping tea at another table, talking among themselves. “How did they… Oh, Shiraaase.” “I did not infooorm anyone! They’re your friends; of course they saw through it. Also your performance was dreadful.” Masato bolted upright and glared at her, but she didn’t bat an eye. Irritating. All that work he’d done to hide it, but everyone had known from the get-go. He could have spared himself so much trouble… Rocking between shame and fury… “Pretending we didn’t notice was definitely the right move. Masato got the full mom experience!” “The opportunity certainly arose.” “He kept his word! Good job, Masato!” “Argh…” If the opportunity arises…, per his own words. He couldn’t argue that. “Anyway, best we just keep it secret. For everyone’s sake,” said Wise. “Actually, I was keeping a secret of my own! Specifically, that Shiraaase came over first thing in the morning and the MOD mirror was already working,” said Mone. “Hah?!” “We used Wise’s transformation spell to change our appearance then joined in the symposium,” Medhi explained. “But that’s just between us.” “Those three new moms?!” “We should probably keep what we all talked about a secret, too!” chirped Porta. “If you tell us everything that happened, Masato, then I’ll explain things to you. What do you say?” asked Shiraaase. They all glanced his way. If they did that…the endurance thing, the handsome son brag, and the bath with Mom were all definitely fatalities in the waiting. “…What’s a few secrets among party members?” he said before collapsing on the table again. Mamako settled down next to him, smiling. He scowled up at her, unsure what she was so happy about. Then a thought struck him. “…Living as you for a day,” he began, “I realized something.” “Oh? What’s that?” “You really do a lot. Thanks.” “Hee-hee. You’re welcome.” Masato’s voice had a note of genuine respect.