Chapter 150

“Personally, I wish she’d knock that ooooff.” “Mm. It don’t fit with the Four Heavenly Kings shtick. Loving a mother like you is a sign Porta’s got bats in her belfry.” “Silence.” Dark-Mom Deathmother’s glare met Fratello’s bleary gaze. Neither backed down. “Oh? So you’ll look me in the eye now, eh? …So which bit ticked you off? ‘A mother like you’? Or the part where I mocked Porta? You ain’t done nothin’ mom-like but you’ll get mad on her behalf?” “I said silence. We don’t have time to waste on idle chitchat. All of you should get to work immediately. If you obey my orders without question, I shall overlook your insolence.” “What if I don’t obey? You gonna dish out the punishments?” “…Your manner displeases me. Who do you think you are?” “Are you seriously asking that?” “That’s what weeee want to knoooow.” Amante and Sorella joined the staring contest between Fratello and Dark-Mom Deathmother. “You’ve yet to fulfill your exposition obligations. You sank the Materland hideout into the ocean with us still in it. What were you thinking?” “Management’s analysis achieved results sooner than I’d expected. I was forced to take drastic action to avoid them securing evidence of my actions. Time was of the essence. I apologize for the lack of consideration.” “Theeeen, after thaaat, you didn’t answer no matter how many times we caaaalled. Why noooot?” “Same reasons. I was focused on evading management’s investigation. I didn’t have the time to respond. Again, I apologize.” “Lip service apologies,” Fratello grumbled. “You have your explanations. Obey my instructions…” “Don’t be ridiculous.” All three of them stared up at Dark-Mom Deathmother, radiating hostility. “I shouldn’t even have to explain this, but I’ll make this very clear. We find this treatment completely unacceptable. And we see no reason why we should follow you.” “My, my, such disobedient minions.” “Damn skippy. How else would we become the Four Kings rebelling against mothers?” “We haaaate mothers. Why would we obey instructions from oooone?” “I see. That is true. You’re completely right. You are obeying the tenets of the Rebellion you joined. In which case, how’s this?” Dark-Mom Deathmother raised a hand. Above her head appeared a shoulder bag far larger than Porta’s, its mouth yawning like that of some giant beast. An avalanche of weapons poured out. Swords, daggers, spears, and axes. They surrounded the three Heavenly Kings, tips pointed at their throats. “That’s…” “My in-game job is Merchant. The bonus abilities provided to moms have given me unlimited weapons, armor, and items. And this is just one way I can use them.” “You can use anythiiiing?! That’s not faaaair!” “Settle down, Sorella. Even if she can use any weapon, it don’t mean squat if she can’t hit us. Right, Amante?” “Ha-ha! Exactly. No attacks will work on me! All of these will bounce off—!” “You think so?” Dark-Mom Deathmother proceeded to chant a spell: “Trade-in.” Instantly, light drained from the Heavenly Kings’ bodies—like the light of their souls. And the light changed to dictionary-sized books, which vanished into the shoulder bag. “Er…what was that…?” “Reflection, debuffs, attack bonuses against mothers—I purchased each of your unique skills, converted to skill books.” “What are you talking abooout?! You can’t buy skiiiiills!” “Of course I can. I’m a Merchant. Literally everything can be traded. Oh, right! I have to pay for them. I’d value those skills at…this much.” Three 1 mum coins were spat out of her bag, rolling to the Heavenly Kings’ feet. “Ridiculous… Hey, Amante.” “Amanteeee!” “Huh?” Fratello punched Amante in the stomach. “Gah!” The attack landed. No reflection. Sorella slapped Amante’s face. “Ow!” The attack hit. No reflection. “Wh-wh-what noooow? We’ve really lost our skiiiills!” “Seems like it… I don’t think it was necessary to test it twice, though.” “Anyways, we ain’t got no way to fight. She’s really done a number on us… So, what now? You got us under control, so we gotta follow your orders?” “Exactly. You will obey me. Do your duty as the Rebellion’s Four Heavenly Kings. Once you have fulfilled your duties, I shall return your skills. That is all.” The hovering weapons surrounding them parted, opening a path to the throne room door. A clear invitation to leave. “…One final question, if you don’t mind,” said Amante. “Masato Oosuki mentioned something about pins and brainwashing. We’d never heard anything about that…” “Currently I am personally heading up a stratagem to eliminate mothers from the world at large. This stratagem does not require your participation. Your help would doom it to failure, and I can’t allow that.” “Ohhhh? We’d only screw it uuuup? In other words, you’ve already deemed us uselesssss.” “Fine by me. No skin off my nose. Humph!” Blustering, the three Heavenly Kings left the room. Dark-Mom Deathmother watched them go. No one saw her self-deprecating smile. Once they’d left the throne room, all three Heavenly Kings sighed. “…I still can’t believe the Master is really Porta’s mom. What a shock.” “I knoooow! I thought it was weird how she was so interested in Portaaaa, so I figured they were relaaaated, but…I didn’t think she’d be her moooom.” “But why’s her mom trying to erase all moms from the world? The heck is she thinkin’…?” Fratello stopped in her tracks, staring back at the throne room door. But her question went unanswered. “I don’t get why she treats Porta like that, either.” “Riiight? What kind of mom is like thaaat? Porta’s trying to prove how much she loves her, but she won’t even look her in the eeeeeye.” “Yet she was all prepared for her,” said Fratello. “She’s got a room and a custom-made Heavenly King coat. Speakin’ of, there was a room just like it at the old hideout before it sank.” “Yeah…it’s like she always meant for Porta to be one of the Four Heavenly Kings. But once she shows up, she’s all indifferent. It makes me sick!” An innocent Skeleton Knight, who just happened to be standing there, ended up getting his head punched off so Amante could vent. But it wasn’t really harmed by this. It was already dead, after all. The body just scrambled off to recover its head. “My, myyyy. Aren’t you angryyyy. I do sympathize, buuuut…” “Ain’t no point thinking about what we don’t know. Times like this, it’s best to keep things simple.” “…Yeah, good point,” Amante said, releasing her frustration in a huge sigh. Then she laughed. “Heh-heh-heh. At the very least, we’re clear the Master is a mother. And that she played us for fools. The worst kind of mother! Which means there’s only one thing the Four Heavenly Kings should do next.” “Riiiight! What do we do when a mother pisses us ooooff?” “We mess her up.” Sorella and Fratello exchanged malicious grins. “If Porta’s determined to protect that awful mother…well, I’d love to talk her out of it, but we’ll have to leave that for later. First, we need to ruin the Master’s plan.” “The Master seems concerned about who’s coming to attack this caaaastle. Which meeeans…” “We oughta bring ’em here.” “You can’t reach this place via any normal means of transport, so we’ll need to guide the one person she’s afraid of… I don’t suppose there’s anyone capable of something that extreme just hanging around here, huh?” Amante glared across the hall. There was nobody else there, but… The floor began bubbling like molten sugar, gradually taking human form. Mamako’s face, Mamako’s hair, and finally, Mamako’s figure—in a black dress. The unique creation modeled after Mamako—Hahako. “How did you know? …Oh, that’s it! Parents and their children share a natural psychic bond! Hee-hee-hee.” “Nope. You’ve just been following us so relentlessly that I’ve somehow learned to sense when you’re nearby. Anyway…” “Yes, leave it to me!” said Hahako. “Porta’s mother is most concerned about Mamako. I’ll bring her and her party here.” “Heh-heh-heh, exactly, bring Mamako Oosuki…wait…” “It’s so nice of you to invite your former enemy over! When did you become friends? I think that’s just lovely! Hee-hee-hee. I knew you were all good girls.” Hahako smiled happily and melted back into the floor. “Uhhhh…the Master’s enemiiiies…are the Rebellion’s enemiiies…” “The same folks we’ve got our hackles up about…” “And we just agreed to bring them here… Are we, like, actually dumb?” The three of them stared at each other for a long moment. “““……We’re so dumb……””” The answer was too obvious to deny, but no less depressing. Meanwhile… “…What does this mean?” “It is exactly what it appears to be.” Masato was lying on the lap of the Mysterious Nun, Shiraaase. She was staring down at him. The back of his head was preoccupied with the sensation of thighs. Thighs belonging to someone else’s mother—Shiraaase had a five-year-old daughter. ……What is this? What’s going on? He needed to get to the bottom of this. He was currently in a room at an inn in the Catharn capital. Glancing around, he saw Wise and Medhi leaning against the wall, glaring down at him. Everyone had woken up at the crack of dawn for an early breakfast, so it was still morning. We want to go search for Porta, but have no idea where she might be… They’d all settled down somewhere, dealing with their anxiety as best they could. Masato had sprawled out on his bed, eyes tightly closed, praying for Porta’s safety. Yes…and then… Mamako had called out, “Ma-kun, if you don’t mind?” and lifted his head, sitting down next to him. He’d known she was going for the lap pillow. She must have been worried about how much this was upsetting him. Masato had decided it wasn’t worth picking a fight about, and let her do it…but then the lap pillow didn’t feel quite right, and when he’d opened his eyes… “Should I clean your ears while I’m at it?” …he’d found Shiraaase staring expressionlessly down at him. Mamako was standing by the side of the bed, and judging from her apologetic smile, she’d been in on the ruse. Now fully clued in, Masato slowly sat up. “…Thanks, I guess.” “My! You took that in stride. I expected to get yelled at!” “Not really in the mood. Sorry.” “I see…in that case…Masato, grit your teeth.” “Huh?” Shiraaase raised a hand, and slapped Masato hard on the cheek. Everyone gaped at her. Especially Masato. “Masato! What’s gotten into you? Wise, Medhi, this is no time to sulk! Get yourselves together!” They’d never seen Shiraaase genuinely angry before. Even her expression was angry! Her words got under their skin more than the pain or surprise. They could feel their deadened insides springing back to life. “That’s…right,” Masato stammered. “Yeah!” “We’re not the type to just mope around!” said Wise. “Moping doesn’t change anyth—!” started Medhi. “I’ve come to visit you, but not only did you fail to speak to me, you didn’t even notice my arrival! Who do you think you are? Give me your undivided attention!” “What?! That’s what you’re mad about?” “Of course I am! I was sitting in a coffin outside the inn, waiting for you! Trying to fulfill my quota! But over an hour passed and no one came out to revive me!” “There’s no quota for showing up dead!” “And! After all that waiting, I thought you’d finally brought me back, but it was just a total stranger! A random passing healer! I just assumed it was you, greeted you like always, and got, ‘Uh…I don’t know you…’ like I was some sort of crazy person! That was super embarrassing! I was so embarrassed, I nearly died again!” “I don’t think you can blame that part on us…” “Fair. I did jump to conclusions. Tee-hee.” Shiraaase was back to her usual blank expression. She rubbed Masato’s cheek. “I did my best to come up with a way to disperse the cloud of gloom that had settled over you…but raising my hand to you may have been ill-advised. I apologize.” “Your motives are pretty suspect, but…fine, it did snap me out of my funk.” “I must apologize to you, too, Mamako. I have done awful things to your precious son. I’m so sorry.” “No…honestly, it’s my job to cheer Ma-kun up. I should have said something. But I just couldn’t find it in me to scold him…you’ve been a great help.” “I see. I’ve helped you! Then I shall dwell on it no longer. I promise I will continue to be just as silly. Heh-heh-heh.” Not the best news, but irritation certainly drove away depression. Everyone sat upright, facing Shiraaase. “If you’re here, you must have some critical infooormation, right? Lay it on us,” said Masato. “I’d be glad to. Mamako already told me all about Porta’s desertion while you were all moping around like idiots.” “Phrasing! Not that I can deny it…” “First, the reason Porta left the party…requires that I infooorm you about Porta’s mother.” Shiraaase pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket it and placed it on a table. It was a wanted poster with a likeness of Porta’s mother on it. “This is Porta’s mom…?” “Her name is Saori Hotta. She is Porta’s real mother…and a producer of MMMMMORPG (working title).” “……Huh?” Not a title he’d been expecting. Masato’s mind went momentarily blank. “Porta’s mom is a producer on this game?! Seriously?” “Seriously. Mom’s Massively Maternal Multiplayer Making-up-with-Offspring RPG is primarily run by mothers, even lowly drones such as myself. The government agency that manages it saw this as a chance to increase employment opportunities for women…but in Hotta’s case, she was hired purely on the basis of her experience and accomplishments. In other words, she earned the role of producer.” “She worked her way up to that level while raising a kid? Wow,” marveled Wise. “It must have taken considerable effort,” said Medhi. “A mother and a producer…oh…come to think of it, the whole point of this game is that you’re here with your mom, so is the reason Porta was playing all by herself…?” “More or less. Her mother was in a position to make that sort of request. But Hotta…was also doing terrible things behind the scenes, leading to our current predicament.” Shiraaase tapped the wanted poster. “She had secretly created an in-game society dedicated to eliminating mothers from the game world. That society…is the Libere Rebellion.” Everyone gasped. “Hotta is the mastermind behind the Rebellion…and once management discovered this, they attempted to take her in for questioning. But they were a moment too late, and Hotta fled into the game world, hiding herself here.” Porta’s mother was the Rebellion leader. She was hiding somewhere inside the game. “At that point, I should have immediately approached you…but I was delayed by the need to implement stopgaps against this sort of thing happening again and meetings planning our next actions. For her child to see a posting like this…well, that was certainly careless of us. I’m rather angry about it, honestly.” Porta had found the wanted poster, got in touch with her mother somehow, and gone to her side. And decided to join the Libere Rebellion—to be with her mother. “I see…so that’s what she was hiding at the Adventurers Guild…it all makes sense now.” Masato let himself fall backward onto the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, mulling it over. “Porta’s the only one who never got to travel with her mother…she must have missed her.” “Masato and Mamako were together the whole time, and both Medhi and I at least started out that way… Porta was always alone. Of course she’d get homesick.” “Even if her mother is the mastermind behind everything…especially if she was in trouble, she’d want to be with her, to help her however she could.” “Yes…Porta is such a nice girl. She would listen to her feelings and go running right to her mother’s side. Knowing that is actually something of a relief!” Mamako smiled gently and rubbed Masato’s head. “Stop it!” “Hee-hee-hee. Sorry.” Perhaps she was wishing her own child would listen to his feelings more. Seeing this demonstration of family bonds made everyone smile… “But that resolves nothing. There are so many problems remaining,” Shiraaase pointed out. Their smiles faded. “Right…even if parent-child reunions are a good thing, if the mom’s like that…well, we can’t just leave them to it and hope for the best.” Masato hopped to his feet. “Sitting around thinking about it won’t get us anywhere. We’d better go meet with Porta and her mom.” “It’s the only way! We gotta talk it over, figure it out! Charge on in and see where it gets us!” “Let’s make a formal thing out of it. We certainly shouldn’t show up empty-handed…” “Right! Gotta prepare for the worst, make sure our equipment’s in order…” “You can’t go to a meeting like that without a tray full of sweets. We’ll have to make enough for the Four Heavenly Kings as well, so…maybe two boxes’ worth?” “Yo, Mom, what are you talking about? We’re not raiding an enemy lair with boxes of sweets.” “Also,” Shiraaase mentioned, “do you have any idea how to get where they are?” They all just grinned. “That’s easy, Shiraaase.” “Yep. ’Cause since you showed up here…” “You must already know where they—” “But I don’t?” Shiraaase said, blinking. “““……Uh?””” “I really don’t,” she insisted. “I’m aware the situation calls for swift action, but the world doesn’t always make things that easy.” “True enough…” “That said, you are the hero’s party. Thinking for yourself, struggling to progress, and finally achieving a breakthrough—all part of a heroic adventure. Are you sure you wish to rely on help from others, always taking the easy path? Is that what you want, Masato?” She had a very valid point. Masato bit his lip, ashamed he’d ever wanted help. “You’re right… We should solve this ourselves.” “Well, that’s easily said, but I’ve actually already made arrangements. I’m sure she’ll be here soon…oh, and so she is.” “Huh?” The floor in the corner of the room suddenly swelled up, taking a form that was the spitting image of Mamako. “Oh, Hahako?!” “Hello. Did I time that right?” “Couldn’t have been better. You got results?” “I did. Just as you requested, Ms. Shiraaase, I have discovered Porta’s mother’s location. Porta was there, too. I can guide you all to her immediately. What do you say?” Hahako smiled at Masato. “Hoo boy…all that crap she talked, but she’d actually already set things up… You’re sneaky, Shiraaase. In a good way, I guess.” “Just my way of making up for management’s failings. Consider it my apology.” “Very well. Then we’ll be happy to accept Hahako’s offer.” “Oh, also—Masato, now that you’ve experienced the joys of another mother’s lap pillow, I can offer you the unique title: Mom’s Lap Pillow Master.” “Do not want!” Denied! You give Shiraaase the slightest compliment and she’d immediately gets carried away. He turned his back on her and started getting his things together. “Well, then, shall we? Everybody ready?” asked Hahako. “Yes. I’ve got both boxes of cookies right here!” “Mom’s seriously bringing cookies…but maybe that’s for the best! As long as her hands are full of sweets, she can’t hold any weapons!” “And we’ll have to take care of any combat! Perfect,” said Wise. Just in case, they made sure everyone was carrying a good supply of healing potions, and it was time to go. “Well, everyone, do take care.” “You aren’t coming, Ms. Shiraaase?” Mamako asked. “I shall remain here and handle the matter of the rapid child growth. Mone has had the warning posted everywhere, but that alone won’t solve the crisis.” “Oh, right! I forgot about that,” said Wise. “Geez, so many problems…” “If you handle the root cause, everything else will sort itself out. So…” “Very well. We’ll both do what we can,” said Masato. “Here we go!” Countless white hands reached out of the floor, wrapped around them, and dragged them back down. This was an ability only Hahako could use—as a creation of the game itself, she could submerge into the game’s raw data. “What…is this…?” “It feels like sinking into a bottomless swamp!” The new sensation made the group’s faces turn white as a sheet. Shiraaase waited until the hero’s party could be seen no more, and then let out a brief sigh. “Right, then I’d better spring into action. First things first: swing by the Mom Shop and share information with Mone.” Shiraaase promptly departed the inn. But the moment she stepped outside… “Oh…?” …the ground beneath her feet tilted upward, and she began sliding down it. The road outside the inn had a depression in it—a crater. And Shiraaase was sliding into it. “Uh-oh…” “Oh, nun lady, you okay? I got a rope here! Grab on!” A man in a fishmonger’s apron was passing by, and he pulled her out. “Thank you. That was quite helpful. But what is this?” “I’m not really sure, but they’re happening all over! The ground just suddenly depresses. Just like this.” “That’s…very odd…” “Definitely one word for it. Oh, come to think of it, this morning when I went to lay in my fish supply, there was a depression like this in the ocean, too. Smaller, but like…a section of the water was just…not there.” “I…find it hard to imagine a depression in the ocean.” “Maybe I’m just seeing things. But make sure you watch your step!” The man laughed and walked away. “Hmm. Most bizarre. Another mysterious phenomenon? Well, they say if you chase two hares, you’ll catch neither. As planned, I’ll handle the rapid child growth first.” For now, she would just make a mental note of this other strange occurrence. Shiraaase turned toward the Mom Shop… “Oh…?” …and started sliding again. A second depression had opened silently next to her. Proof the situation was getting steadily out of control. Masato’s party was moving rapidly. “Like a walk through the ocean…swimming through a sea of data…does that sound right?” “Strictly speaking, more like deep-sea diving…,” replied Medhi. “It’s pitch-black and we can’t see anything.” “Well, yeah, there’s nothing here but data,” said Wise. They were passing through a realm composed entirely of data—a realm beneath the game world. Naturally, there were no shapes, colors, or anything else displayed. “It’s like being behind a set…like we’ve been shown just how fake the game world really is. Not ideal, but…we’ll just have to grin and bear it.” “Hahako, how much longer?” asked Mamako. “We’re almost there. About one more second. Here we are!” “What, alrea—” But before Masato could finish, they’d arrived. The sensation of movement changed from forward to upward. They were rising. The cocoon of white hands opened…and they were in an entrance hall, lit by a pale blue glow. “This…is a lot like the entrance to Catharn Castle.” “Yes—this is a castle. Deathmother Castle, the residence of Porta’s mother—Saori Hotta, who now calls herself Dark-Mom Deathmother.” “Dark-Mom Deathmother? That’s…certainly a choice.” “Perhaps she’s trying to get in the spirit of the game world. I won’t name names, but she might be similar to your mother, Wise.” “That counts as naming names! …But, like, you’re totally on the money. My mom was super proud of calling herself the Queen of the Night. I thought I was gonna die from the secondhand embarrassment. Putting that aside…Hahako, what now?” “You’ll have help. First…” But before Hahako could say anything further, a dark swirl appeared behind her. Something like yellow caution tape shot out of it, wrapping itself around her. “Whoa! What the—?” “This…is a tool only those with Producer privileges can access. My actions have been severely curtailed. This will not be easy to free myself from.” “Producer privileges…then Porta’s mom is doing this? Damn!” Hahako was dragged into the dark swirl. “Oh my!” “Wait!” “Why, you!” All four of them grabbed on and tried to pull her back, but to no avail. “Resistance is futile. Her privileges are too powerful. Resign yourselves.” “But…!” “This is merely a movement restriction. Don’t worry—I’m in no danger. Also…I fear someone has come to peek at the source of this commotion. The child you’re looking for is right around the corner. See?” “Huh? …Oh! Porta!” Their former party member was at the end of the long hallway inside the entrance. “Whoa?!” She was wearing the black Heavenly Kings coat, and only her face was peering around a pillar. She immediately turned and fled. “Hurry after her,” Hahako suggested. “That’s why I brought you here.” “Yes, that’s right. Ma-kun! Girls!” Mamako’s cry gave the others the push they needed. “…Right, let’s go!” “Thanks, Hahako! We owe you one!” “We’ll make it up to you someday!” “No need. Oh, right… I was about to say—there are those in the Rebellion who will help you. They’re not always honest about their feelings…but they’re all good girls at heart. I hope you’ll all become friends…” That last bit sounded like something they’d have preferred not to hear. But with that, Hahako was pulled into the swirl. Once she was inside, it vanished. “Help within the Rebellion? I could name a few people who seem unlikely to ever help, but…” “Hahako probably jumped to conclusions. The three stupid Heavenly Kings probably did something dumb and it just worked out in our favor.” “Extremely likely. I feel like attempting to contact them would just be more trouble than it’s worth, so let’s do our best to avoid them at all costs.” “Yep,” Masato said. “Let’s just go after Porta. We’re in enemy territory. I know we want to do this fast but keep your guard up!” He drew the Holy Sword Firmamento and took a firm grip on the hilt. Wise manifested her magic tome. Her other hand was preemptively gripping a jewel that could cure magic seal. Ready for anything. Medhi took a few practice swings with her staff. Ready for the attack. Even though she was the healer. With everyone ready… “Okay! Ma-kun, girls—let’s clear this dungeon!” Holding boxes of cookies in both hands, Mamako dashed ahead. “Wait, Mom?! You can’t just charge forward! Look at what you’re holding?!” “It’ll be fine! I individually wrapped the cookies! They won’t crumble if the boxes get a little shaken up!” “That’s not my concern! …Argh! After her!” An army of Skeleton Knights were attempting to block Mamako’s charge. But she didn’t even slow down. She just ran right into them! “My!” High-level undead! “Hello!” Unleashing savage attacks! “Oh, lovely!” But she just seemed pleased to see them! “You all match!” And she elegantly dodged her way past! This was the special Mom skill, A Mother’s Parry! She had urgent business. But friendly neighborhood housewives were in her path! She couldn’t just ignore them. But she couldn’t let herself get trapped in a long conversation! At times like this, it was an important skill to deflect their approach and quickly move on without giving a bad impression. “If you have a skill like that, why does it never activate when we’re shopping?!” “It’s up to Mamako when to use it. Oh, right! …Spara la magia per mirare… Forte Vento! And! Forte Vento!” “Let’s clear these enemies out of our way and get after her! Raghh!” Wise’s fierce torrent of winds lifted the Skeleton Knights off their feet, and then Medhi hit them with a sideways swing from her staff, sending them flying. “Yes! Once they’re in the air, they’re mine—!” “No, secure us a path through here.” “Okay…” It was the perfect chance, but she was right. Masato glumly waved his sword back and forth, clearing a path between the enemies. They were soon through the Skeleton Knights as well. They could still see Mamako ahead of them. She’d stopped in her tracks. “Right, catch up with her! Mom! Don’t get too far ahead!” “Oh, Ma-kun! Stop! Don’t come this way! You’ll get stuck!” “Huh?” It was too late to stop. They’d already caught up with her. It was the end of the central hallway, the entrance to the next area. There was a huge space in front of them, like a ballroom. Gorgeous chandeliers dangled from the ceiling, and they really drew the eye… But there were squares drawn on the ground, each about a meter across—and the one the party was standing on had the word START written on it. “What the… Hey, we’re stuck on this square! Like, there are invisible walls around it!”