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“Hey, is today your birthday, man?” Hitoshi asked.
“Oh, yeah. Something like that,” I replied.
“Shucks, happy birthday, then. You should’ve said something! If you had, I would’ve gotten you a present and all,” he said.
“No need to trouble yourself,” I murmured.
Hitoshi’s question came as soon as I entered the classroom and sat down in my seat. Actually, I didn’t remember telling anyone about my birthday; how did he know?
Maybe Nanami said something? I looked at her—only to find her surrounded by several girls. They were all forming a crowd around her. I didn’t think I’d ever seen them gather like that before. Even in Hawaii, the crowd hadn’t been this big. There even seemed to be girls from other classes there too.
Does Nanami have something special going on today? She looks kind of troubled, though. But even if I wanna go and help her, it seems like a terrible idea for a guy like me to go barging into a group of girls like that. Maybe I’ll text her first.
I messaged her with a short “Need help?” to which she replied, “I’m okay, better you stay over there.” Yeah, seems like my presence is not called for. I’ll leave things to Nanami.
“Who did you hear about my birthday from?” I asked, turning to Hitoshi. “Did Nanami tell you?”
“Hm? No, dude. There’s a bunch of rumors going around that an idiot couple were making out in the cafeteria, and that the boyfriend’s birthday is today,” Hitoshi explained.
I thought that the idiot couple bit was rather rude and uncalled-for. Though it was true in a way, so I couldn’t quite argue against it.
“Huh? Wait, no one mentioned our names, though?” I asked.
“We figured the only idiot couple around that would make out in the cafeteria would be you two,” Hitoshi replied.
“Oh. Ah. I see.”
“And? Were you making out?”
“In a manner of speaking,” I said with a sigh.
Dammit Hitoshi, how dare you grin like you’re having the time of your life right now? Sure, maybe we could have been a bit too flirty, but we weren’t causing problems for anyone. Or were we...?
“I didn’t think we were doing anything weird, though,” I muttered.
“I mean, if you guys were just flirting and stuff I think it’s fine. At least people are enjoying it enough to talk about it,” Hitoshi offered.
“Personally, I’d prefer it if people didn’t gossip in general,” I groaned.
“No can do. Rumors are entertaining, you know? They spread because everyone likes that stuff,” Hitoshi said, only emphasizing how impossible it was not to talk about the fact that Nanami and I were making out.
With Hitoshi spelling things out so plainly, I couldn’t help but agree. We wouldn’t have been the subject of any rumor if we hadn’t done anything extra; this had been our own doing. I just had to tell myself that. Plus, unlike last time, these rumors didn’t seem terribly malicious.
Wait, was it malicious last time? I can’t even remember now.
“Oh, before I forget,” Hitoshi said, “they’re saying the boyfriend wants to sleep with the girlfriend on his birthday.”
Yup, this rumor is totally malicious. Wait, we didn’t talk about anything like that at all, though. Where did people... Oh, is it the part that Nanami glossed over before? Is that it? That part must have mixed up with the bit about my birthday, evolved, and then circulated like this.
I knew this from my previous experience, but rumors sure were frightening. I should be glad that at least this time our names weren’t explicitly attached to them. But I still couldn’t keep myself from sighing.
“And with that, I shall give you your present,” Hitoshi said, placing a convenience store bag on my desk. There was something square, so it was probably some kind of snack. Did he go out of his way to buy this for me?
“Oh, thanks. But didn’t you say earlier that you didn’t have anything prepared?” I asked.
“I didn’t get you anything proper. This is just a gag gift, on the off chance that the rumors are true,” he explained.
What in the world is a gag gift? I didn’t quite understand, but I felt touched that he had gotten me a present at all. Let me just accept this gratefully.
“I see, thanks for going to all that trouble. I really appreciate... Wait, what is this?” I asked.
When I looked inside the bag, I saw...a small, square box. It was black and almost looked like a box of cigarettes. But that wasn’t possible. Was it chocolate or something? There was a number written on the box. The cocoa percentage, perhaps?
“I’ve never seen this before. What is it?” I asked.
“Rubber. Like, that kind of rubber,” Hitoshi replied.
“Excuse me?”
The moment I heard that, I shoved the box back into the bag. I took it out in the classroom because I had no idea, dammit. No one saw, right?
I glanced at the box inside the bag again. So this is the... Wait, is this guy serious right now? Seriously? Of all things he could give me, he gives me this? Though actually it’s the second time someone’s given this to me. But last time it was from a teacher, and it was only one...and not an entire box, like this.
For the record, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving the one I received last time just out in my room, so I had put it in my wallet instead. Though since I put it away it hasn’t seen the light of day.
More importantly, I had no idea high schoolers could buy stuff like this. I had thought that the nurse had given it to me precisely because I couldn’t buy it. We’d even talked about something like this, if I remembered things correctly. Or could you just buy it like you could buy anything else, as long as you could stomach the awkwardness? I had thought that they checked how old you were at the convenience store or something. But I guess stuff like this didn’t require carding. Either way, sitting here contemplating the purchasing conditions of this particular item was just not a good use of my time.
I therefore took one deep breath and...
“Dude, are you trying to get smacked?!” I shouted.
“I’m joking! It’s just a little joke. Like, come on, man, guys gift stuff like this to each other all the time,” Hitoshi protested.
“Are you kidding me?” I moaned. “Really?”
“Yeah, basically. That’s just how guys get when they kid around. And this isn’t even all that bad! At least it’s practical,” Hitoshi said. “When it gets bad, it gets really bad.”
Seriously? Guys my age are scary. There’s a world of difference between this and what I imagined a gift exchange between friends was like.
I supposed this was why it was a gag gift, but since it was my first time receiving such a thing, I was still in mild shock.
“You’re not imagining anything weird about Nanami, are you?” I finally asked.
“Dude, even I wouldn’t do something like that with a friend’s girlfriend,” he said simply.
I see, in that case...I guess there’s nothing to worry about.
“But to think that this is the first gift I’ve ever received from a friend... I feel like I’m gonna cry,” I said.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Hitoshi said. “You got gifts in middle school and stuff, right?”
Huh? Do you get birthday presents from your friends in middle school? What world is he talking about? I don’t remember anything like that happening.
As I sat there in silence, unable to respond, Hitoshi grew quiet as well. Wait, this is making me feel...
“Wait. Never?” he asked.
“Not ever.”
“Damn. I’m sorry, dude.”
Please don’t apologize so earnestly; it makes me feel even worse. No no, please don’t bow your head to me either. Really, don’t worry about it so much! Please stop apologizing.
“But in all seriousness, is this actually practical? I don’t know anything about stuff like that,” I said.
“I don’t have a girlfriend either, so I heard it from someone who heard it from someone...but apparently one of the senpai said that one box wasn’t enough for one night. Especially when he was just learning,” Hitoshi replied.
Wow, that was way more information than I was prepared for. But this was all new to me, so it was actually quite helpful. Would I end up just like that senpai?
“And anyway, it doesn’t hurt to have it, you know? I’ll get you a real present next time,” Hitoshi continued.
“No, don’t worry about that,” I said. “This is more than enough.”
“Seriously, dude, I thought you’d see this as a joke and laugh, but I guess I missed the mark...”
That seemed more my problem than his, though, and therefore nothing Hitoshi had to worry about. I wanted to be someone who could laugh about things like this too.
I began to idly think about checking on Nanami again when the door to the classroom opened with a huge bang.
“Yoshin-kun! Is it true that it’s your birthday today?! The news was so sudden that I couldn’t prepare anything fancy, but I’ve brought you a gift!”
“Shoichi-senpai,” I said, slightly taken aback. “Uh, thank you for that.”
“Here, take this! As a man, practicing such etiquette is key!” senpai declared.
“Wait, you too?!”
The smile on Shoichi-senpai’s face as I, his kohai, shouted back at him with zero hesitation would forever remain with me, a birthday gift all on its own.