I see. So Yoshin felt so lonely that he had even dreamed of me. And the high school version of me, to boot.
Jeez, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. This grin was just refusing to be wiped off of my face. I mean, I knew Yoshin was feeling weaker than usual because of the cold, but was there a girl anywhere who wouldn’t be smiling if her boyfriend had said that to her? I didn’t think there was.
I realized I was making a claim about a fairly large population, but regardless, I wasn’t willing to change my statement.
Well, then. I cleaned Yoshin’s body, and I helped him put on a clean set of pajamas. Though to be more accurate, Yoshin managed to put them on himself.
“Onee-chan can spoil you more, you know?” I said.
“Y-You’re not my onee-chan, though,” Yoshin muttered.
Yoshin clearly wasn’t feeling very good, but at least he had enough energy to point out details like that. Though he certainly didn’t have his usual pep. Even now, he was lying in bed with only his head turned toward me.
“Still, I wonder why it was a kid version of you,” I remarked.
“I wonder too. Maybe it was a representation of my loneliness because I was sick and feeling helpless?” he suggested.
“I would much prefer it if it was a representation of your desire to be babied by me.”
Yoshin puffed out his cheeks slightly at my comment, as if in protest. Maybe because I had just heard about his dream, but his face made him appear just like an adorable elementary school kid.
Hmm. I didn’t think I felt any particular way about little kids.
Just as I was thinking that, Yoshin slid his hand out from under the covers.
Are all the layers making him hot? I thought. But then he turned away from me and mumbled, “Then...can you hold my hand until I fall asleep?”
Y-Yoshin is actually asking me to baby him?! That’s what’s happening, right?! He wants me to baby him, doesn’t he?! He wants me to hold his hand until he falls asleep... I know I’ve said that to my mom after I watched a scary movie, but no one’s ever said it to me! Oh my gosh, he is so adorable.
Yoshin was so cute that I thought I might faint, but he interpreted my lack of a response differently.
“I-I guess not, huh? Was that too creepy?” he asked.
Honestly, my heart was doing somersaults in my chest. Who is this adorable creature? It’s my boyfriend, duh. Is he always this cute and precious when he’s sick? Wait, seriously? I mean, I guess he let me feed him earlier too. But he lets me do that from time to time anyway, so I didn’t think anything of it. This, though, must be because he’s feeling weak. That’s gotta be why he’s letting me spoil him like this.
A long time ago, Hatsumi and Ayumi were going on and on about the specific cuteness that only comes out when a guy shows an unexpected side of himself. Now I felt like I finally understood what they meant.
Nanami—a woman who understands. I’m totally gonna go for it.
“It’s not creepy at all!” I declared. “It just surprised me, that’s all.”
“But, asking you to do that until I fall asleep is—”
“It’s no problem! I’m happy to do it,” I insisted.
It was only when I finally took the hand that Yoshin poked out of the blanket that he looked relieved.
Such a small gesture. But being touched by someone who cared about you was comforting. Wasn’t touch an important aspect of healing? I felt like I had read that somewhere before.
“Thank you again for coming,” Yoshin said softly.
“Oh, no problem. I got to see so many lovely things,” I replied.
“I feel all I’ve shown you are my bad sides,” he sighed.
“No! Not at all!” I protested.
Yeah, Yoshin was weak and vulnerable, but that wasn’t something weird or bad. If anything, I felt relieved that even Yoshin became fainthearted when he got sick.
All I heard at school was how weird it was for people to see me by myself. After so long together, I guess everyone thought that Yoshin and I now came as a set.
But wouldn’t that, in a way, be somehow burdensome for Yoshin?
I had wondered if maybe my feelings for him were getting to be too much, or that maybe I should try to be more independent from my boyfriend. But hearing that Yoshin felt lonesome when he couldn’t see me actually made me happy.
What did that even mean, being independent from my boyfriend? It’s not like he was my dad.
Yoshin’s cold must have made him tired, because he was beginning to doze off while still holding my hand. His grip was loosening too. A little bit of naughtiness had me squeeze his hand a little, and at once Yoshin started, opening his eyes slightly. When our eyes met, we smiled at each other like it was the most natural thing.
Come to think of it, this was the first time I had ever watched someone fall asleep next to me. In Hawaii, or even on the video calls, Yoshin and I would be talking, and then we would fall asleep before we realized it. To be completely silent while waiting for someone to fall asleep... It made me feel funny.
I never knew that this was how people fell asleep. They would say a word or two, and then they would fall silent. That would go on for some time, until the silence began to outweigh the spare word or two exchanged.
Yoshin slowly began to mumble nonsensical things too. It was kind of amusing.
Actually, weren’t you not supposed to respond when someone talked in their sleep? Wait, but he wasn’t asleep yet, was he? And why exactly weren’t we supposed to respond in the first place?
Maybe I should look it up next time. Right now, though, all I wanted was to watch Yoshin fall asleep.
Not long after, I began to hear Yoshin’s steady breathing. He didn’t sound like he was having trouble, so maybe he was feeling a little better now.
I wanted us to go to school together soon, but I also didn’t want him to push himself.
“Are you asleep?” I whispered.
No response came. Yoshin’s hold on my hand had loosened, so I slid my hand out of his soft grip. I didn’t want any part of him to feel cold, so I slipped his hand back under the covers.
The expression on Yoshin’s face as he slept was so cute, but given that he wasn’t feeling well, I refrained from taking any pictures. If he had been feeling perfectly healthy, I probably would’ve gotten into bed next to him.
That was what I was thinking, but a part of me also knew that I would be too chicken for that, even with the opportunity to do so. I had learned my lesson in Hawaii, but I turned out to be more of a wuss than I realized. I should probably fix that, though I wasn’t entirely sure if it was something that could even be fixed.
I couldn’t say either way, but since the time for this kind of thing was most likely going to come, I should at least be prepared for it. Though I couldn’t do it now, because that would be morally wrong.
And just as Yoshin fell asleep, I heard the front door open.
Is that Shinobu-san? Must be.
“Nanami-san, I’m sorry to make you take care of Yoshin,” I heard her say.
Oh, it is Shinobu-san. Hearing her voice on the other side of the door made me relieved. Now Yoshin wouldn’t be alone even if I went home.
I stood up, looked at the door—then turned back around.
After a moment’s hesitation, I sat back down and drew closer to Yoshin. Didn’t they say that you recovered from a cold faster if you gave it to someone else?
So I kissed Yoshin on the cheek as he slept and whispered, “Good night, Yoshin. Sleep tight.”
And then I quietly left his room.