Home / The Vexations of a Shut-In Vampire Princess / Chapter 199

Chapter 199

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We traveled for one week south of the ruins before arriving at our destination—the mining city of Neoplus. Spica said there was an unprecedented gold rush going on in Neoplus, though people weren’t going for gold but rather this weird mineral called Mandala. The mysterious precious gem appeared wherever there was a Dark Core. The deposit had been found a little over a decade ago. Before then, Neoplus had been an unassuming village, but development accelerated eight years ago, and now it was a big city with a population in the tens of thousands. Mercenaries from all over the country went there looking to get rich quick. You could feel the vehement greed in the air. So much so, I was getting heartburn just walking down the streets. “We’re finally here! Okay, people, let’s find some good citizens and extort them to give us a place to stay tonight!” Spica said. “W-w-wait! What the heck are you suggesting?!” “I’m joking!” “It sure didn’t sound like it!” “Wha—?! No way, you didn’t take it like that?! Well, you’re not the slaughter commander for nothing! But think carefully about it. The police or the army would come if we tried killing or robbing innocents. Why would we make our work harder for ourselves on purpose?” “…” Why am I being treated like the weirdo…? She’s the weirdo… “…Spica, I really don’t think we can make this work.” “Oh, please. Even the greatest enemies will work together when their boat is about to be capsized.” “Do you really want to cooperate?” “Of course! That’s why I caught you. And if you run away again, I’m frying you up and gulping you down!” Lingzi shivered and hid behind me. I get you, Lingzi. Who wants to get eaten by this weirdo? After the whole ordeal at the ruins, Spica had caught us in the blink of an eye. Now that I thought about it, that was no surprise. There’s no way I could have escaped these snappy terrorists. So Lingzi and I had been forced to join their party and make the weeklong trek to Neoplus. Well, at least we weren’t killed. I had no choice but to cooperate with Inverse Moon. “Hmm?” Spica peered into Lingzi’s eyes, smiling. “What’s up? Are you afraid of me?” “I-I’m not…” “You are! I’ll put a collar on you so you can’t escape!” “Stop it! What if you give her some weird fetishes?!” I shouted. “You want one, too? Okay, two pets are better than one!” “Over my dead bodyyy!!” Spica cackled as she tackled me. Having a cat’s nine lives wouldn’t be enough to survive as this weirdo’s pet. We ran in circles for all we were worth. Someone sighed. “…Your Highness, we shouldn’t be drawing attention to ourselves.” Startled, I turned around. The fox beast-folk Fuyao Meteorite gave the Wicked God Slayer an annoyed look. “What’s that, Fuyao? You’re opposing me?” “They have no reason to run at this point.” “But I heard women and children aren’t safe in Neoplus. I have to keep them on a leash to protect them!” “They’re not little girls. Besides, alliances should be equal.” “……You have a point!” Crack. The collars in Spica’s grip broke. With her bare hand?! But there was something more surprising: “Fuyao… You have common sense…?” Cloing. A switch flipped. “I’ve got it in spades! Think about it! Leading two hideous pets around would harm Her Highness’s reputation, duh!” “What?! Hideous…?!” Cloing. “…Who cares about her reputation? In any event, there’s nothing to be gained by being rough with an ally. Take the pet idea too far, and they’ll bite the hand that feeds them.” “Komari, does this girl have a split personality…?” asked Lingzi. “I—I dunno… Maybe she’s just trying to be edgy and pretending to have one…” Either way, it was creepy. Like boss, like underling. “Whatever! Time to talk business!” Spica smiled from ear to ear and grabbed Fuyao by the arm. “Let’s go somewhere to sit down. Any recs, Fuyao?” “How could I have any? This is the first time I’ve been here—” She cut herself off. Fuyao’s fox ears stood up as she looked all around. Her eyes stopped at a corner of an alley. That’s…an old well? “What’s wrong?” “No…” Cloing. A switch flipped. Then I saw something strange. An expression came over Fuyao’s face unlike that of either of her personalities; rather it was like that of a small child afraid of a ghost. “…Nothing… Let’s…look for a place. Quickly.” Fuyao’s suggestion and demeanor were unlike her. Lingzi and I froze in shock, and even Spica’s eyes grew wide as though saying, Who is this? “Something is up. Did anything you eat make you sick?” “I’m okay… I ate the usual for breakfast…” “Something is clearly wrong. You aren’t acting like either of your personalities.” Cloing. A switch flipped again. “I’m telling you it’s nothing. Stop worrying.” Fuyao turned back into her usual murderous self. She held her temple as she walked away. What was that? Something was clearly wrong… But oh well. Whatever. I forgot about it and looked for a restaurant. Inverse Moon split into two groups. Simply put, one was the main team and the other the backstage team. The main team’s job was to fight Star Citadel directly and rescue Meihua, and it was composed of me, Lingzi, Spica, and Fuyao. The backstage team would assist the main team by getting intel on Neoplus and doing stuff behind the scenes. Its members were Amatsu, Tryphon, and Cornelius. Why do I always get thrown into the offensive party? I couldn’t speak my mind, however. I swallowed my complaints. And so we began a strategy meeting in whispers at the bar. “The Mandala mining site is called Star Cave. The Nightsky Ring says Tremolo and Meihua are there!” The place was packed despite it being noon. We girls were clearly out of place among all the beefy mercenaries, but neither Spica nor Fuyao seemed to care. “Which means! They’re looking for the Dark Core inside Star Cave! We gotta stop them, or the world as we know it will end!” “Where is this Star Cave…?” Lingzi asked. “At the center of Neoplus,” Tryphon answered. We’d met up with him at the bar. Amatsu and Cornelius were occupied elsewhere. “I just checked, and the area around the entrance was full of mercenaries. And you need a license to go inside.” “…What a drag. Let’s just blast our way in.” “Fuyao, you’re too violent. The mercenaries have a lovely rule that they gang up on anyone who tries to sneak in. Yusei might find us if we make a ruckus. We must be cautious.” Now that was surprising. I thought for sure they wouldn’t care and charge in. At the very least, that’s what the Seventh Unit would’ve done. Hold up. Are my guys wilder than terrorists? “You have to be admitted by the authorities to get a license. The authorities being a prefectural governor of the Toumor Republic. There is an office here in Neoplus where they manage all government duties.” Tryphon took a piece of paper out of his pocket. It was a map of Neoplus. He pointed to the government office. “…What kind of guy is this governor?” “The current governor is Count Sandberry. Mining restrictions were greatly loosened since they were appointed, and they have immense support from the mercenaries.” “Mm-hmm.” I curled up while sipping my tomato juice. I wasn’t good with important people. I tended to mess up and make them mad. “Oh, by the way,” Tryphon added, a serious look on his face, “even if we get the license, we must be careful when exploring Star Cave. We can’t be found by Star Citadel, of course, but besides that, the mercenaries at the guild said that monsters known as Varmints have been appearing recently.” “What are they?” “Amatsu and Cornelius are investigating as we speak. Supposedly, they look like black beasts, and there are many of them living in Star Cave. Mandala mining hasn’t seen much progress as of late because they’ve been attacking people.” That was ominous. Are they more ferocious than Lapelico’s armies? “I see. That might be Star Citadel’s defense system,” Fuyao said. “We are considering the possibility.” “Yeah!” Spica nodded. “Beware, then! Thanks, Tryphon! Now we know what to do next! Let’s worry about the Varmints later and focus on Whateverberry to snatch a license out of them, yeah?” “Peacefully, if possible.” “There’s no vampire more peaceful than I!” Spica’s smile grew wider, while Fuyao grabbed a piece of fried tofu. “Good work. You’ve earned a reward.” “Thank you, but I merely did my job.” “How about a lollipop?! You like ’em, don’t you?!” “No, thank you.” “You’re welcome!” “Gweh!” Spica shoved the candy into Tryphon’s mouth. “BLEERGH!” His death throes echoed around us. I had suspected as much, but there are some serious abuses of power in Inverse Moon, aren’t there? “All right, people!” Spica clapped her hands. “Our first destination is the government office! Let’s go get that license!” It can’t be as easy as you make it sound. I knocked back my tomato juice, feeling an ominous premonition about what awaited us. “Okay. You can have a license.” The government office was like a castle, surrounded by tall walls. The menacing AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY signs had me on edge, but after we asked for a license application at reception, they let us through to the governor’s office as if it was nothing. And they gave us our license. That was too easy. There’s gotta be a catch. “You look like you can’t believe it. But don’t worry; I trust my eye. You’re not like all the other greedy mercenaries.” The office was full of shiny gold coffins. A girl sat haughtily in the middle of them. Governor Sandberry—the most important person in Neoplus. I was worried she’d be a huge guy, but in reality, she was a small girl, far from what the word “governor” brought to mind. Her (skimpy) outfit was fluttery and glittery, and she had rich-brown skin. Also, for some reason, she kept a bunny plushie sitting beside her. She was unlike most of the people I knew. I couldn’t even tell her species. “What? Is there something on my face?” “Huh? No, nothing…” “Please don’t mind her, Governor. Terakomari is simply admiring your benevolence with gratitude.” “Geh,” I uttered. That was Spica La Gemini, if you could believe it. She wasn’t yelling like a drunkard now—she was as calm as the moon. She was as graceful as when she had adopted the persona of the Pope of the Holy City of Lehysia. Yes. It was all an act. An uncanny act. She’d said, “Gotta keep our identities hidden when meeting the bigwigs!” but I felt like it was pointless, considering she kept her outer appearance the same. “Okay. Eh, I guess it doesn’t feel bad to be thanked.” Governor Sandberry opened the drawer next to her chair and took out a scroll that said MINING LICENSE. “Thank you,” Spica said as she received it. “We’re lucky to have come across such a reasonable person. I should have expected it, coming from someone holding together the most dangerous place in the world.” “Are you being sarcastic? That’s funny.” The governor smiled sadistically. “I’ll add you to the miner registry. You can go and explore Star Cave as much as you like. Just watch out for the Varmints, yeah?” “The Varmints? I heard about monsters appearing in Star Cave.” “I guess you could call them that. They attack people at random. You’ve gotta run the moment you sense danger. I’m talking to you, little vampire. You look especially weak.” I jumped upon being pointed at. Reflexively, I put on my cocky act. “W-weak?! Ha! I’ve skewered a billion people with my pinkie finger alone! I’m the strongest vampire there is!” “Pfft. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!” The governor burst into laughter. Maybe a billion was too much. That’s one damn long finger. “Ah-ha, ah-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… Please don’t make me laugh! But hey, I like me some cocky girls.” “Huh…?” “I love stomping on them, making them kneel, rubbing in reality. Making them realize they are nothing, then putting them in my coffins for my collection.” “Lingzi, mind if I hide behind you?” “I—I won’t let you lay a finger on Komari!” Lingzi stepped before me with her arms spread. She’s so earnest and cute. It felt like getting a look of what Sakuna had lost. …Hmm? Wasn’t Sakuna the neat and pure type just like Lingzi? Ugh, my head… Eh, whatever. Anyhow, it didn’t feel like Governor Sandberry was just a sadistic girl. The important thing to note here was she’d realized I was weaker than a snail. It was only a matter of time before she saw through Spica’s creepy act, too. “Back on topic,” the governor said. “Now you can join the gold rush. Just remember to pay your taxes, ’kay?” “Of course, I would never avoid paying my taxes. I swear to God,” said Spica. “Oh, and one more warning…” She took another paper from the drawer and showed it to us. On it was a strange diagram, resembling a shiny starlike sphere. Hmm? Haven’t I seen this before? “We’re looking for this bomb. It was unexploded in a war far in the past, and there’s a chance it might be buried in Star Cave. If you find it, leave it right where it is and tell me.” That’s the Dark Core, isn’t it? What’s the governor scheming? “Understood.” Spica nodded. “We wouldn’t want it to explode. We shall notify you promptly if we come across it.” “Really?” “Really.” “Hmm…” The governor and Spica stared at each other. A clash beyond my comprehension took place before my eyes. Finally, the brown-skinned girl crossed her legs and said, “Thanks. Good luck out there! Neoplus’s development depends on you miners staying alive and sane.” We got our license and left the government office. Now we could enter Star Cave, where Star Citadel was supposedly hiding. I’m getting nervous. Tremolo was near the top of the list of super murderers I knew. I really hope I get out of this alive… Ahhh, I need to go to the bathroom. “She was one peculiar lady—Governor Sandberry,” Spica said, holding a crimson lollipop. “She looked as if she was hiding something. She acts like a good politician, but I feel like she’s got something big under wraps.” “I agree. She said she wanted to trap me in a coffin, for starters.” “That is true…but that big thing was a Dark Core, wasn’t it, Spica?” Lingzi asked timidly. “Yes.” Spica put on a wicked smile. “There’s a possibility she might be involved in Star Citadel’s activities. I don’t know if she’s a member or just being used, but either way, she’s making the mercenaries look for the Dark Core while they’re mining. This also means Star Citadel hasn’t gotten their hands on it yet.” “Really…? Then shouldn’t we be investigating her more?” I asked. “I’ll tell Amatsu and Tryphon.” I couldn’t imagine that lady was a killer like Tremolo, but I did tend to make surface-level judgments. I’d better try to develop a more observing eye like Spica’s. “Or we might have to take some measures. If she’s a member of Star Citadel, then the enemy already knows about our plans to infiltrate Neoplus.” “Not that it matters, but how long are you gonna keep up that act?” “Measures! We gotta watch out for her! Maybe we should’ve killed her right then and there!” Spica got loud all of a sudden. “Um,” Lingzi said hesitatingly. “Spica, do you also have a split personality?” “No way! I’m not gross like Fuyao!” Fuyao’s ears twitched. The foxgirl had been a silent statue the whole time. Spica ignored her reaction and looked up at the blue sky. “Mine is only an act. An act that was born from admiration… It was hard avoiding being caught back when I was the Pope.” “…Your Highness, could you quit the gross posturing?” “Fuyao, that’s rude! How dare you call people gross! I adopted a quiet personality to trick people…but also because I wanted to be a composed person like Julius VI. She was serene, the opposite of me.” “Are you okay in the head?” “There’s nothing not okay with what I’m saying. Everyone wishes to be somebody else. Though you’re the only one I know of who’s taken it to the point of Core Implosion.” I had no idea what they were talking about. I just wanted to scream. And pee. I found a public toilet and pointed to it. “…Mind if I use the restroom?” “So my conversation bored you! Come back within five seconds, or I’ll put you in a collar!” “What the—?! Give me five minutes, at least!” Spica cackled. I ran to the toilet. “They say Star Cave’s crawling with Varmints. Can’t mine like this.” “Have you heard they’ve been showing up outside the hole now?” “They attacked someone?” “Isn’t there any way to exterminate them?” These are some thin walls. I could hear people chatting from the other side of the restroom building, from the men’s room. Their utterances caught my attention. Besides some stuff I couldn’t quite understand, they kept mentioning scary things, like people being attacked and the need to do some extermination. The Varmints. Tryphon and Governor Sandberry mentioned them already, but do they really exist? Ferocious beasts like shadows? Are they sure they didn’t just see a black cat or something? “Oh well.” No use thinking about it. I flushed the toilet and left the stall. It was time to go to Star Cave. I had to take some deep breaths to prepare myself mentally…but I froze at what I found next. In front of me stood three men. Hmm? Men…? But… “H-hey! This is the girls’ restroom!” “Yeah, and I’m a woman.” “Ah…” Was that rude of me? I’d thought she was a man because of her burly muscles, but she had a high-pitched voice and wore women’s clothing. She was a Warblade. So then that means the other two are women, too. The person on the right had a beard, and the one on the left was shirtless. “Wait, but what about the other two?!” “What, you sayin’ men can’t go into the women’s room?!” “Gweh!” The woman grabbed me by the collar. My brain couldn’t keep up with what was going on. Am I getting mugged? Spica took all my money… Then the Warblade woman said something I could not have seen coming. “You’re Terakomari Gandesblood, right?” “…” My survival instincts rang their alarm bells. It didn’t seem like the trio were here to hand me the handkerchief I’d dropped. I had a feeling they would beat me to a pulp if I admitted I was Terakomari. “Wh-who’s that Tera-what’s-her-name…?” “There’s a bounty on your head. Look.” She showed me a piece of paper. On it was an (eerily accurate) drawing of my face as well as the following message: WANTED-1 million nuko to whoever kills these two. I felt like the world was spinning. It wasn’t just me. The poster said these two. The other drawing was also of a familiar face. A blond girl wearing a strange hat—Spica. The artist really deserved a round of applause for the accuracy of their portraits. I decided to play dumb. “Ah-ha-ha-ha… Looks like a scary duo. What’d they do?” “I don’t know, and I don’t care. What matters is that I get a million nuko if I kill them.” “What’s a nuko?” “Nuko, what else? You’re Terakomari Gandesblood, aren’t you? And that girl with the weird outfit you were with is this Spica La Gemini, isn’t she?” “N-no! I’m Gigakomari!” Blam! Something blew up beside me. One of the men (the bearded one) broke the wall to the toilet with his bare hand. He’s gotta be at least as strong as Sakuna… The woman looked at me like a hungry scorpion. “I don’t like stupid lies. I’ll just kill you and send your body to the client.” “W-w-wait! I’ve done nothing to have a bounty on my head! Who even put it on me?!” “Who cares? Guys.” ““Yes, ma’am!”” The men took out some weapons that looked like saws. A slash from one of those would definitely kill me. But why?! Why are they trying to kill me all of a sudden?! I’ve had assassins sent after me before, but there was a bit more context for those! As I stood there, frozen and despairing… “Die.” …they brought their saws to my neck. The moment I thought I was dead… Cloing. A switch flipped. “Eh?” …the (shirtless) man collapsed. He blacked out immediately, his expression frozen in confusion. He fell to the filthy floor without getting the chance to scream. The other man (the bearded one) turned around to see what happened, but by that time, it was already late. My rescuer struck his thick neck with the back of her sword. “Gweh!” The (bearded) man spun in the air. The woman let go of me and turned around in shock. Behind her stood… “Wh-who the hell are you?!” “I should be asking you that. I thought you were late, and you’re here playing around with these guys?” The first sentence was aimed at the woman, and the second one at me. Her ears twitched, and her fluffy tail waved. Fuyao looked down at me in exasperation, unsheathed katana in hand. The woman produced a dagger out of nowhere, like a magic trick. “Ha! Terakomari’s friend? You wasted your chance to leave safely! Just so you know, we’re Black Scorpion, the wood-rank mercenary team! You go home and eat some fried tof—” Fuyao smacked the woman in the nose with the hilt of her katana. Blood spurted out of her nose as she slammed into the wall so hard, I was sure the impact would kill her. She spasmed a little before losing consciousness, and she showed no sign of coming back up. The three scoundrels had fallen in the blink of an eye. I fell limply on my behind. I survived. Thanks to this foxgirl… I had to thank her, but I couldn’t speak from the trauma of almost getting killed. Then, as I saw Fuyao approach the Black Scorpion members with sword in hand, I was shocked, like I’d been slapped on the head with jelly. “W-wait! Don’t kill them!” I tried grabbing her waist, but instead, I wound up snatching her giant tail. My whole body was enveloped in sweet fluffiness. “Kon?!” Fuyao let out a peculiar shriek. I had to ignore it. “I know they’re bad, but you can’t kill them! They have to be interrogated. It’s better if we take them to the police! Please put away your sword!” “Wh-wh-wh-wh-wha…? You’re wrong!”

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