I hadn’t seen my mother and brothers in a long time, so we had a lot to catch up on. In the middle of our chat, someone knocked on the door. The tailors had finished their preparations.
“Let’s move to their room.”
“Yes. Chris, Johan...”
“We’ll wait here. Johan and I will while away the hours together, so don’t mind us—take your time picking out a dress.”
At my mother’s urging, I stood up. I intended to try on the samples, and even though they were family, I was still uncomfortable about men being present. I’d been fretting about what to do since I didn’t want to neglect my brothers when they’d come all this way to see me, but Chris had beat me to the punch.
My older brother is such a capable man. There are so many men who avoid accompanying a woman shopping, but look at him! He’s so considerate at such a young age.
Johan made an I didn’t agree to that! face, which I turned a blind eye to. It’s good to spend some quality alone time as brothers every now and then to deepen your bond.
“Then we’ll leave you both to it,” I said.
I had the maids make a fresh pot of tea and bring out light sweets they could snack on. Then, I headed with my mother to the room where the tailors awaited. Sir Leonhart should be home soon; he can keep them entertained when he’s back.
As soon as I arrived in the other room, I tried on an empire dress. In Japan, bustier-style empire dresses were trendy, but I had a feeling that would be too risqué for this world. Though exposing a bit of décolletage was standard for soirees, a bustier cut would be going too far.
The dress the tailors had prepared for me had puffy sleeves and a square neckline that showed generous décolletage. The overskirt was white and a shade of beige that looked like gold in the right lighting. It was the basic style that I’d seen in paintings of women with children.
“What do you think?” I asked.
Mother inspected me closely. Her gaze ran from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and then she knit her brows. “Dowdy.”
Talk about giving it to me straight. I don’t think it looks very flattering on me either, though. In the first place, empire dresses are hard to pull off. On top of that, this dress isn’t the right size for me, which makes it worse.
“I had a feeling it didn’t suit me.”
“How do I put it... It looks like you’re wearing your mother’s dress that’s been altered to fit you—as best as it could be, anyway.”
“The analogy was unnecessary, thank you very much.” It’s so accurate that it’s depressing, so please stop.
“No, no, you’re still adorable. However, it’s smothering all of your good qualities. How strange! This is a common design and color, so I wonder why...” Mother frowned, placed her hand on her cheek, tilted her head, and muttered, “You could do without the puffy sleeves. Should we try formfitting or flared...?”
The designer standing next to her leafed through some papers and showed mother a sketch. “What do you think of this?” she asked.
“Yes, sleeves that show off the shape of her arms would be best. However, the décolletage in this design is unacceptable. Since her waistline will be hidden, we must show off her neck and arms. Also, off-white shades tend to appear faded.”
“The duchess has fair skin and light-colored hair, so perhaps darker colors would suit her.”
Mother and the designer were getting quite worked up as they discussed styles. We were supposed to be making a dress for me to wear, but I couldn’t keep up with the conversation and was relegated to idly standing there. They pressed fabrics against my body and changed my pose—whatever they wanted from me, I acquiesced. Do with me what you will. I felt like a fish on a chopping block. When they told me they wanted to see me in a different dress, I changed without resisting.
This time, I tried on a dark-red dress with black lace. It gave off the complete opposite impression from the previous one—dark and seductive. I’m a former villainess, so is it really okay for me to wear this? Won’t it look like I drink blood out of a wineglass?
Apprehensive, I turned to face them. My mother and the designer stared at me with wide eyes. Their penetrating gazes made me uncomfortable.
“It suits you extremely well,” said the designer.
“I agree. Your face resembles mine, so I expected you to look more stern.”
I wasn’t prepared for all the compliments, and now it was my turn to stare with wide eyes. “Do I not appear stern?”
“Not at all. You look like a composed, mature lady. An impressive feat, given the fact that the wrong combination of red and black tends to look garish and vitriolic.” Mother smiled wryly. “Perhaps it’s a difference in character.”
She seemed conflicted, which perplexed me. “Mother?”
Instead of replying to me, she addressed the designer. “I would like to see a black fabric paired with a different color. Do you have beige lace?”
At her behest, the designer stepped away for a moment.
Once no one was nearby, my mother furtively whispered, “I can’t wear red and black. I look like a witch when I do.”
Now that she mentions it, I can’t recall a time my mother wore a red-and-black dress. I was under the impression that she preferred muted colors like dark green and blue. I never thought it would be for a reason like that. She has glamorous features and boasts outstanding proportions, so I think red and black would look extremely good on her. Such a shame.
“It would look good on you, though,” I murmured.
Mother drew her brows together in a troubled expression. “I heard His Majesty has a distaste for gaudy women, so I developed a habit of avoiding those colors.”
I froze—I’d landed on a heavy topic that shouldn’t be spoken about lightly.
However, she quickly laughed it off. “Well, that doesn’t matter anymore.” It didn’t sound like she was forcing herself to say that. She truly sounded like she meant every word.
“It doesn’t?” I asked.
“Yes. In the past, I desperately wanted him to look my way, but that zeal has petered out. If I’m honest, the current distance between us is just right.”
Even from my point of view, the relationship between my parents wasn’t bad. They felt more like business partners rather than a married couple, and though they weren’t passionately in love, they shared a strong bond.
“Thinking back, I wasn’t in love with His Majesty either. I simply wanted a family,” she said flatly, her eyes slightly downcast.
Seeing her like that made my heart sink. Even though she didn’t seem especially lonely or sad, I found myself rushing to her side. I reached out to her and squeezed her hand. She looked up with a start. The confused, defenseless expression on her face made her appear younger than usual.
“I’m here. Mother, I’m your family.”
Surprise colored her face.
“Chris, Johan, and even Leon are your family too. Also, father is often incomprehensible, but he’s probably also family.”
Adding “probably” there was unnecessary, but it put a broad smile on my mother’s face. “You’re right.” Her tone and expression were both tender and full of mirth.
“And of course, that goes for this child too,” I said, rubbing my stomach.
Mother also touched my belly. She caressed it gently, and the corners of her eyes softened. “It’s your granny. I’m waiting for you, so please come into the world a healthy baby.”
I didn’t think “granny” was an appellation that suited her very well, but her tender, smiling face was definitely one of a grandmother who loved her grandchild. Isn’t that nice? Your grandmother is going to dote on you, I mentally whispered to my child. I have a feeling that she’s going to try to spoil you rotten though, so I’d better keep an eye out for that.
“A growing family is a wonderful thing,” my mother said.
“And it’ll continue to grow from now on,” I replied.
“Yes, that’s right. I can’t wait for your second child.”
“It won’t be just me. Chris and Johan will marry before long.” I would like to have at least two children though. But surely Chris and Johan will marry first.
It had been an innocent remark, but my mother furrowed her brow deeply. “Those boys? I wonder if they will ever marry.”
“I hear they are extremely popular among unmarried women.” I may be their sister, but even I think my brothers are a pair of high-spec handsome young men. “The two of them don’t seem very enthusiastic about the notion, though.”
I have a vague feeling that they’re trying to run from marriage, but given their positions, it’ll be difficult for them to remain bachelors forever. Johan aside, it’ll be impossible for Chris since he’s the crown prince. I can kind of sympathize with them, though. If Sir Leonhart didn’t exist, I would never have considered marriage.
While I was lost in absent-minded thought, I felt a stare. Mother’s eyes were fixed on me as she muttered, “Their standards are too high.”
“Standards?”
“There can’t be many women like you.”
Like me? What do you mean? Like a reckless wild boar? Well, we would be in trouble if there were many noble ladies like that. I’d like to believe she didn’t mean it in that way.
“Tell him it’s time he stops clinging to his younger sister.”
I’m a brocon myself, so I rarely defy Chris. If I suddenly told him that out of nowhere, he might end up bedridden. Not knowing how to reply, I deflected with a vague laugh.