Chapter 64

5 Kyoto. The glittering diamond at the heart of Japan. Boasting overwhelming military and political force, this prefecture allowed its citizens an elegant lifestyle that was the envy of others nationwide. Or until now, that is. Even Kyoto’s prefectural bureau, the Golden Pavilion, could not hold out against the sustained attempts at urbanization. In just a day it fell, its brilliant golden walls consumed by brutal gray architecture. The people in command, lacking any sense of honor or responsibility, fled the city out of fear for their lives, and one by one, anyone who would take the blame in their stead simply vanished, vacating the city like fleeing rats. In the end, the city was left devoid of even the lowliest citizen. “When the going gets tough, the weak piss their pants,” muttered Bisco, standing before the grand Kyoto checkpoint, as he tore off his disguise. Its massive gates stood utterly unmanned. “I guess there wasn’t much point in dressing up as Flamebound pilgrims, then,” said Milo. “I ain’t too surprised… Still, least it saves us some time.” “I’ll go get the others!” Milo rushed off the way he came, while Bisco eyed the Wanted posters lined up on the wall. When he found the ones of him and his partner, he tore them off, gazed at them wistfully, and stuffed his own into his pocket. “Bisco! Let’s head to Arashiyama first. We can give Actagawa a break and pick up some food for ourselves, too.” “Sure,” Bisco said and jumped atop the crab, handing the other rolled-up piece of paper to Milo. “Hmm? What’s this?” “It’s your Wanted poster,” Bisco replied, yawning. “But now that Kyoto’s gone under, there ain’t nobody left to pay out. Might as well keep them for ourselves.” “Huh? What am I going to do with a Man-Eating Panda?” “You could put it up in the clinic.” “And scare away my patients?!” “What’s all this, boys?” asked Red Tirol, popping a glance over Milo’s shoulder at the poster in his hands. “Ahhh! Milo’s famous Wanted poster. Still, the photo seems to be quite old. You are looking far more manly and rugged these days.” “Wow! Really, Tirol? That’s so nice of you to say. Thank you!” “Still looks like the same old panda to me,” said Bisco. “C’mon, Actagawa, let’s get moving.” “And what about yours, Bisco?” asked Red Tirol. “I’d love to see the poster of the Man-Eating Redcap.” “We don’t need to do that. Look, just hold on tight.” “Why not? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” “We just don’t!” “Oh, I have one, Tirol! Here!” “My, such a ferocious look. They’ve sure made a monster out of you, Bisco. You’re far more charming and innocent in real life.” “Shut the fuck up! Put that thing away!” Actagawa gave one last push, hopping through Kyoto’s empty streets in search of the Arashiyama Valley, where his tired legs would at last find respite. Nestled in the greenery, amid chirping birds and the rush of the waterfall, was a small pool. In it, a familiar orange carapace bobbed gently, from time to time rolling over in the water and allowing the cool stream to wash over its white belly. Suddenly, Milo’s head broke the water’s surface. “Phah! Bet that feels good, huh, Actagawa?” he said, giving the crab a broad smile. “You must be tired after all that walking!” The more motivated Actagawa was, the faster he ran, and so the boys decided their crustaceous companion should be allowed to indulge wherever possible. As for Milo himself, he found the cool water of the pool to be a welcome relief to his tired bones, and he sighed as he enjoyed his first bath in recent memory. Compared to his life until now, spent cooped up in Imihama, Milo’s life on the run was making his musculature ever so slightly more defined (though nowhere near the level of his sister’s), and now suffused with his natural beauty was the subtle strength of a Mushroom Keeper. “Bisco! Aren’t you coming in? The water’s lovely!” he called out to his partner, but Bisco was sitting by the edge of the pool, his attention consumed by the small cauldron simmering over the fire before him. Their journey so far had depleted many of the Mushroom Keepers’ all-important arrows, and so Bisco had hoped to take the opportunity to replenish their stock. “Are you still using that old thing, Bisco? Just use the medicine machine. It’s much safer.” “Like hell, dumbass. That thing ain’t right, I tell ya. If I’m gonna be usin’ these mushrooms for myself, then I oughtta be prepared to put my life on the line makin’ ’em. That’s just payin’ the mushrooms the proper respect.” “You know, you have a very outdated way of thinking, Bisco.” “Piss off.” Rebuked by his partner, Milo sighed and pulled himself out of the water, drying himself off before putting on his Mushroom Keeper tunic and pants. Suddenly, he felt someone’s gaze on him, and when he turned to look… “Milo! Milo, over here…!” “Tirol?” …hiding behind a boulder and beckoning Milo over was Red Tirol, stark naked, her face flushed bright red. “Listen, Tirol. I appreciate the effort, but it’s not going to work on me anymore. I see you as a friend…” “No! That’s not it, Milo…! Look, just get over here! I don’t understand any of this!” The usual impish quality that lurked in Tirol’s voice was nowhere to be heard this time. She sounded frantic, and so Milo walked over to her, mouth agape in astonishment. “What’s the matter, Tirol? Did something happen?” “W-well, it’s…” As she poked only her head out from behind the boulder, Red Tirol’s words came out muddled. “The fact is, Tirol was so tired, she’s gone to sleep already…and I don’t know how to put her underwear back on! I—I know you’re a guy, too, but I need someone to help, and it’s better than asking Bisco!” “WHAAAT?!” “Shhh! Don’t let him hear you! Please, Milo! You have to tell me how these things work!” This was too crude a joke, even for Tirol, so Milo quickly approached and calmed her down before swiftly fastening her bra. “Erm… How does that…? Oh, I see. Quite ingenious. Thank you!” “Just stay turned around. I’ll do your hair as well.” “My thanks. I am sorry. I have simply never…” Red Tirol glanced back over her shoulder as Milo braided her long pink hair. “B-by the way, Milo. You seem quite used to this. Is that because of your medical work?” “That’s part of it,” Milo replied. “But also, Pawoo’s comes off all the time, and she always makes me do it back up. She makes me fix up her hair, too…like when she has a date and stuff.” “Oh-ho, Pawoo’s been on dates? She is a beauty, that’s for sure. I daresay she must be quite popular with the gentlemen!” “She usually is, at first,” said Milo with a resigned smile. “But she can be a bit…clingy, in multiple ways. She considers it cheating if a guy so much as looks at another girl, for example. And you should have seen what I had to deal with patching up her exes…”