Chapter 100

8 “BAB-BA-BA-BAAAM!” The menacing monstroom castle strode through the town of Byoma, crushing all in its path! There was no longer anybody left to cry out in terror, for all of Byoma’s cats had been transformed into monstrooms themselves by the ceaseless tones of Amakusa’s magic bell. Instead, the monstrooms gathered around the castle’s feet, singing songs and dancing as if on parade. “Hi-ho! Hi-ho! It’s off to war we go!” “Bab-ba-ba-bam!” “Check out the big guy.” “Careful not to get squished.” “Huh?” “Dancing, dancing.” “Urrggh! Shut up! Can’t a pussycat get some beauty sleep?!” Geppei Amakusa lay on the rooftop, using the golden carp ornament as a pillow. She was something of a night owl, was Amakusa, and usually slept during the day to recharge her magic. Unfortunately, her monstrous minion was so gigantic, it was as if its thoughts couldn’t quite circulate around its body fast enough, and as a result, every three steps it forgot where it was going. “HMMM? WHERE IS IT, AGAIN?” “Over there! To Mt. Oban! Yokan is surely there, I can sense him…! Just like the last fifteen times you asked!” “AYE-AYE, MA’AM!” The giant monstroom was quick to set off in the direction Amakusa indicated…but alas, it was also quick to be distracted. At every turret or watchtower it came across, it would swing its great bell, pulverizing the structure, almost as though it couldn’t bear the existence of something else even half as tall as itself. This, of course, would set off another loud gong from the bell, ensuring that Amakusa was never granted a quiet moment. “Ooh là là! I think I feel my sanity slipping… Oh, mademoiselle!” “…” Tirol was sitting nearby, diligently counting a large pile of koban coins before stuffing them in the folds of her kimono, her ears twitching and tail dancing with delight. “You’re obsessed with money, I swear! Give it here!” “Hey! That’s mine! That’s mine!” “I gave it to you, and I can take it back, too!” said Amakusa. “Anyway, how can you stay calm with all this dreadful noise?!” Tirol swiftly removed the earplugs from all four of her ears. “Eh? Sorry, didn’t catch that,” she replied. Her bored expression drove Amakusa into a rage, and she struck the girl’s head with her paw. “Listen to me!” she screamed. “I have all the magic power I need. I shall leave the Ultrafaith Arrow with you. Use it to control the castle.” “Whaaat?! Yer lettin’ me drive this thing?!” “Yes. I’m very pleased with the work you’ve been doing. You get an A-plus from me.” “That mean I get a raise?” “Not a chance, you greedy little girl!” Gaboom!! The entire earth shook, and Amakusa and Tirol both turned in the direction of the sound. Then, after a few seconds’ pause, the monstroom castle painstakingly did the same. “What…?” “WHAT’S THAAAT…?” Over in the distance, illuminated by the light of dawn, several enormous King Trumpet mushrooms burst out of the ground, casting the town of Byoma in shadow. And atop those mushrooms stood a lone samurai, his sacred birchwood bow at the ready. He fired one last shot, and the resulting explosion fluttered his sky-blue ponytail. “What’s up, short stuff?” he said. “You’re looking pretty puny from where I’m standing!” Milo’s playful remark earned a scowl from Amakusa. “One of the humans,” she spat. “But as every woman knows, it’s not about the size, but about how you—” “GRRR!” “What?! Don’t tell me…!” “HOW DARE YOU…?!!” If Amakusa had made one mistake, it was in underestimating the simplemindedness of her colossal minion. The monstroom castle was driven by a single desire: to be the tallest thing around, and Milo’s mushrooms were an affront to that desire. Steam welled from its cap as its cyclopean eye burned with ire. “Ignore him, you myopic mycelium! Yokan is over in the other—” Psssssh!! “Waaagh!” Hot steam blasted the two atop its back, as the slow-witted monstroom castle took off with surprising speed, lumbering toward the offensive mushroom forest. With the strength of a giant, it swung the great bell, which rang out as it crushed the King Trumpets into mushroom chunks. Milo the samurai leaped backward just in time to avoid the blow, landing safely on another identical mushroom a little farther back. “He’s trying to lure us away!” screeched Amakusa. “How does he understand how the monstrooms think?!” “Well, that’s ’cuz he’s a pro,” offered Tirol. “Shut up! Whose side are you on, child?! We must distract our creation somehow. But something must be done about that boy as well…!” Amakusa chewed on her claws, and her eyes fell on Tirol, whose cat ears fluttered as she gave a big yawn. “Of course!” she said. “You will face the boy.” “…What?!” snapped Tirol. “You must be jokin’! That guy’s one of the two strongest humans in the world, and I’m just a skinny little princess! All the money in the world couldn’t get me to take him on!” “That was not a request, child.” No longer was there any trace of weakness in Amakusa’s eyes. She twisted her finger, and the bell around Tirol’s neck began to chime. “N-no! Stop…!” The incessant sound echoed in her mind. Tirol clutched her head and screamed in pain. “Aaaaaghhh!!” “Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!! You have served your purpose, mademoiselle. Now, I shall set you free. Free from the restraints of your human mind!” Tirol clenched her teeth, but her fangs grew longer, her claws sharper, and her eyes wilder. Each of her jellyfish braids reared up like venomous snakes. “Oh, look at you now. You’re nothing but a ravenous beast,” said Amakusa. “Ghh…! H…hungry…!” “Well, there’s some tasty fresh meat just over there. Eliminate him, and I shall reward you most handsomely.” “Meat… Money…!!” Zoom! Tirol sprang off the rooftop like a wild animal, chasing after Milo as he danced through the air. Her paws found purchase on a series of golden koban coins that formed in the air like floating platforms. Milo noticed her path trending toward him as he held his sacred bow tight, preparing to loose another mushroom arrow. “Tirol!” “Myaaagh!!” She’s fast! Milo swept his emerald cube, deploying a wall of mantra energy. Tirol had already leaped from her platform, claws bared, and hopefully she would simply run into the barrier like a bird at a plate glass window. However… Slash! “Oh no!” Tirol’s slice was aimed not at Milo but at the mushroom beneath his feet! The crack wormed its way across the King Trumpet’s stalk, and eventually the entire cap gave way, crashing to the ground. “Oh-ho-ho-ho! Not bad, child!” chuckled Amakusa before turning to address the monstroom castle at her feet. The Ultrafaith Arrow amplified her voice like a megaphone. “Voilà, that terrible mushroom is gone! Now, can we please get back to following Yokan?!” “AM I THE BIGGEST NOW?” “Yes, yes! The biggest around! None dare compete with your stature! Now get going!” “HMMM…” Landing atop the roofs of the city, Milo watched as the monstroom castle slowly adjusted its course. Uh-oh! I need to stop it before it reaches Bisco! “Mmmyah!!” “Wah!” Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Using his shortsword, Milo deftly parried Tirol’s claws, but the fight was about even. Tirol wasn’t exactly the most muscular girl around, so what could be granting her the incredible strength with which she kept up the assault? “It must be the Ultrafaith Arrow!” Milo reasoned. “Wow, Tirol! What do you believe in that grants you so much of its power?!” “Money!!” Tirol cried. “Hmm. Fair enough,” said Milo. “You shouldn’t have come alone, you arrogant brat!” boasted Amakusa, standing and chuckling atop the castle’s carp head decoration. “You can’t bear to hurt your little friend, but she doesn’t care in the slightest about you! Her mind has been replaced with that of a feral beast! She has no ability to think for herself at all!” “No ability to think for herself?” “That’s right! Which means no amount of eye-watering melodrama can possibly break my spell!” “That’s…a good thing, actually!” Tirol leaped at Milo, fangs bared. Amakusa closed her eyes, listening eagerly for the Crack! of Milo’s neck… …But the sound never came. “What?!” Amakusa leaned over the rooftop to see… “Myao! Myao!” Milo stood unharmed, having not moved one millimeter from where he was standing. Instead, all around him danced emerald butterflies, and it was at these ersatz bugs that Tirol leaped and bit playfully. “Myao!” For each she caught, another took its place. Milo could thus keep the feline-minded girl eternally occupied, while Amakusa could only gaze on in horror. “Wh-wh-what on earth is that girl doing?!” “I mixed in some of my own blood to create these mantra butterflies,” said Milo, revealing the slash marks on his wrists. “Any predator would go crazy for them! It’s a good thing your brainwashing was so effective, or else Tirol might have still been able to resist!” “Grrrrrhhh!! How dare you?!” “Now just to take care of this!” Milo brandished his shortsword and deftly slit the collar of the distracted Tirol without harming her at all. Then, as it slipped from her neck and fell through the air, he delivered a second slash that cleft the bell in two. “Meow?!” Startled by the attack, Tirol lost her balance and fell into Milo’s waiting arms. “There, there. Good kitty. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” “Mrao…” Milo’s dexterous fingers tickled Tirol’s throat. Purring, she turned over and nuzzled up against him. Then, all of a sudden, she wound her supple body around his neck, glaring back up at Amakusa with gleaming golden eyes. “Myah!” “I see how it is,” spoke the white cat with venom. “So this is how you repay your mistress. I should have seen it coming. You ungrateful, despicable humans are all the same.” “Hisss!!” “Am I fated to be alone? Am I simply too beautiful to live?” she asked, gazing forlornly at the sky. “Ahh, ’tis lonely at the top. What I wouldn’t give for a proud male companion…with pedigree, of course.” “It isn’t too late, Geppei Amakusa. Give us back the Ultrafaith Arrow, and we can pretend all this never happened! Forget about good or evil, right or wrong; this is for your own good! Because if you carry on like this, if you keep fueling the arrow with your desires…it’ll consume you!” “Sob… Sniff… Sob… Even after all this, you would show mercy to a silly little puss like me…?” She held up her paw. The Ultrafaith Arrow floated just above it. “How very…FOOOOLISH!!” Milo spotted the mad glint in the monstroom castle’s singular eye as it raised the great bell and smashed it into the building where he was standing. Milo and Tirol barely managed to leap aside in time, but the escape put them off-balance, unable to evade the straight punch with which the monstroom continued its assault. ““Barrier!!”” they both yelled, and two mantra shields of emerald and gold manifested in order to block the blow. However, the castle’s unimaginable strength allowed it to shatter the barrier with ease, only slowing it enough that Milo and Tirol could leap safely aside in time. “What’s going on?!” cried Milo. “Why is it so fast all of a sudden?!” “Meow,” said Tirol. “What? It’s because Amakusa is finally showing her true power?” “Meow.” “She’s using the Ultrafaith Arrow as an antenna, amplifying her magic through it, and using it to command the monstroom directly?” “Meow.” “What’s that?! We have to take down Amakusa to stop the castle, but we also have to get past the castle to reach Amakusa, so it’s kind of a catch-22. Also, Amakusa likes to say her favorite food is scorpion honey Montblanc when it’s actually pickled skipjack liver?!?!” “Enough of this farce, you imbeciles!!” Amakusa made signs with her paws, and the Ultrafaith Arrow glowed! “Ultrafaith Art: Golden Ray!” The castle glared with its single eye, which emitted a golden beam of light. The destructive beam lay waste to all it touched, leaving explosions of golden dust in its wake. Everything the blasts touched was transformed into gold. “Myaah!! Money!” “Leave it, Tirol! You can pick it up later! We’ve got a job to do!” “Myagh!” Tirol leaped into the air, manifesting koban-shaped platforms beneath her paws. Milo hopped across them, firing his sacred bow in the castle’s direction. His arrows exploded into emerald mushrooms, but the monstroom didn’t seem to react to them in the slightest. “You imbecile! Nothing can match the might of an Ultrafaith mushroom! Now, burn them to ash!” “WOOOHH.” “Ultrafaith Art: Golden Bell Artillery!” “WOHHHHHH!” The monstroom leveled its bell like a cannon and fired off a barrage of golden shells, each striking one of Tirol’s platforms, destroying them. “We’ve only got one choice now, Tirol. Let’s do it!” “Meow!” Milo and Tirol jumped off the final platform, into the air high above the monstroom’s head. Their blue and pink hair fluttered in the wind. “Won/ul/viviki/snew!” “Nyan/nyad/nyaviki/smeow!” Milo’s mantra and Tirol’s miantra commanded the Rust and the catwisps respectively, combining to turn Milo’s cube a bright shade of gold. The cube then transformed into an enormous sword, with a main blade over four meters long, and six other blades branching off the first. ““Seven-Tailed Adamant Sword!”” Amakusa gave a defiant hiss, the veins on her temple ready to blow. “Just because it’s big and gold,” she screeched, “doesn’t mean it’s any good!” ““We don’t wanna hear that from you!!”” “Die, wretches!” A Boom! thundered from the monstroom’s bell cannon, and a golden shell flew toward Milo and Tirol! But their shining sword sliced through the projectile, continuing to the head of the castle itself! “Cataclysm Strike!” ““Seven-Tailed Adamant Slash!!”” A flash of gold, a fissure of light, shone diagonally across the great monstroom castle. Then… “I-impossible… I am invincible! Perfect! Divine!” cried Amakusa as she realized what was happening. Slowly, the top half of the castle began to slip sideways, like sliced butter, before plummeting into the ground with a titanic Crash! After that, the mushroom’s headless legs buckled lifelessly. Meanwhile, Milo tossed a shuriken at the ground, and a cluster of clamshell mushrooms sprouted forth to break the pair’s fall. Too injured to land safely, Milo and Tirol hit it, rolled across the ground, and finally came to rest when they collided with the wall of a building. Milo rose to his feet, panting. “We…we did it! Tirol!” “Myaaagh…” “Don’t worry, I’ll turn you back to normal! We’ve just got to get the Ultrafaith Arrow back!” “…Mya…Miao?!” “Tirol?” “Myaah! Myagh! Myaagh!” The half-feline girl was indicating frantically to something behind Milo. Puzzled, Milo slowly turned his head…and paled at the sight. “Sob. Sob. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so sad…” “I-impossible! We just killed that thing!” A long shadow engulfed the pair as the fallen monstroom rapidly regenerated its own body. Soon it towered over the town again, even larger than before. “The poor little human girl and the poor little human boy tried so hard…” Amakusa’s grin widened. “…But it was all for naught!” She made signs with her paws, and the Ultrafaith Arrow glowed. At this light, the lifeless bottom half of the fallen monstroom also got up and began regenerating its missing head. “Myaaaa?!” “Aaah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Tremble in fear, miserable wretches!!” There were two of them now, standing imposingly side by side, looking down on the half-ruined town. Milo stepped before Tirol, ready to defend her, baring his teeth in frustration. “BAB-BA-BA-BAM!” “BAB-BA-BA-BAM!” “Even I didn’t know I had all this power in me!” Amakusa smiled, gleeful, stroking the Ultrafaith Arrow, which had allowed these miraculous feats. “Now, rejoice. For your deaths shall be the first step on the road to freedom!”