As I faltered, Runa glared at me. “Yeah, that’s right. You don’t need to worry about that, Kamikoshi-san. There are always people around you, paying attention to you. Yet you carry on like it’s such a nuisance that they care. I’m jealous. You have so many friends, and you’re trusted, and you have a partner like Toriko-san. How can you be so blessed and not even realize it?!”
Runa picked up pieces of the “house” and threw them. They bounced off the ground, scattering all over.
“When I talk to you, it makes me feel so miserable. My dad left, my mom turned into an idiot, and my streaming went nowhere. There was no one interested in me. Once I encountered the Blue World, and Satsuki-sama gave me the Voice, a fan club formed around me, but...that all fell apart too, and now everyone hates me. Even Satsuki-sama, who I thought was a god, turned out to be nothing of the sort. She was a monster.”
Runa’s voice trembled.
“You may not realize it, but I have nothing. Seriously, nothing. Is it that weird to just want someone to take an interest in me?!”
“Well...” I hesitated.
I did feel sorry for her. While Runa had done some awful things, she wasn’t the only one responsible for the path that brought her there. It sounded like she’d had a bad family situation, she was still a minor, and most important of all, she had done what she did under the influence of the Otherside.
But I still couldn’t sympathize with her on a fundamental level. I was never motivated by the desire for people to take an interest in me.
I don’t think it’s that I was completely bereft of any desire for attention. Although, whatever desire I did have for it was weak. If she wanted to say that that was because of the privileged position I found myself in, then maybe she was right. My family situation wasn’t the greatest either, but I think my mom probably cared a lot about me, and now I had a lot of people, Toriko and Kozakura foremost among them, who were my anchors. If I tried to claim I didn’t care at all what anyone thought of me, she’d say I was being ridiculous. And I’d understand.
Well, what can I do, then? What should I say to her?
“I don’t hate you,” said Tsuji, but Runa didn’t show any sign of happiness.
“But you don’t like me either.”
Desperate, I tried to say something too. “B-But you said it yourself, didn’t you? Everyone’s being nice to you.”
“Listen, I’m not an idiot. I know they’re not being nice because they want to. They don’t know what to do with me, but none of them wants to get their own hands dirty. Every time they show me kindness, it really hurts. When people are nice to you out of obligation, it’s way too miserable. If I’m going to be treated like an open sore for my whole life, and never be liked by anyone, then I’d rather just die.”
Runa’s head whipped around to face Toriko. “Nishina-san, could you shoot me with that gun?”
Toriko shook her head. “I’m not going to do that.”
“I didn’t think so. Because you’re nice too.”
Runa hung her head.
“Well, how about this, then?” she continued, raising her face. “Please, shoot me, Nishina-san.”
Flowing silver stretched from her mouth, then slid into Toriko’s ears like a living creature.
“Ah...!” I cried out in surprise.
“Kamikoshi-san, I’m sorry.”
Despite her verbal apology, her expression was relieved, peaceful.
“I broke my promise to you.”
I turned to see Toriko, raising her gun with a blank look on her face.
“Toriko! No!”
“Huh? But she asked me to shoot her,” she said as if it were the most obvious response. Her hands didn’t stop. The barrel pointed straight at Runa, and her trigger finger—
Reflexively, I stood in front of Runa. Toriko’s eyes widened, and she lowered the gun.
“That’s dangerous!” she objected.
You took the words out of my mouth.
While I was blocking her line of sight, Tsuji seized Toriko’s arm.
“Whoa, what? Let go of—”
“Now, now, now, calm down,” Tsuji said, trying to soothe her.
I approached Toriko to help Tsuji.
“Sorawo, don’t get in the way. I’m telling you, it’s dangerous.”
“Yeah, it is,” I agreed. “So let go of the gun.”
“But...”
“Would you be okay with shooting me by accident?”
“Uhh... No.”
“Yeah, I know you wouldn’t. So give me the gun. You can have it back later, okay?”
“Really? Please give it back, okay? Because I gotta shoot her.”
“Sure, sure.”
Somehow, I managed to calm her down and get her to give me the gun. That was nerve-racking.
“Thanks. Sorry about this.”
I put my hand over Toriko’s left hand and guided it to the side of her head.
“What?” she asked, confused.
“There, now squeeze,” I said.
“Squeeze... Yuck, there’s something there?!”
“Go on, pluck it out!”
In my right field of vision, I saw the Voice being dragged out of Toriko’s ear. As she clenched her hand, the phosphorescent light shattered and vanished.
Tsuji supported Toriko as her legs gave out from under her.
“Are you okay, Nishina-kun?”
“Aughhh, this is the worst.” Toriko got up shakily, and brushed her hair back behind her ear. “I’m fine now... Sorry.”
Toriko’s words were dripping with frustration over having let Runa’s voice control her.
“Well, that didn’t work.”
I heard a voice filled with self-mockery behind me. I turned and looked down at Runa.
“Runa, you little...”
“Kamikoshi-san, you really are lovely when you’re angry,” Runa said as she looked up at me. “You show an intensity of emotion you wouldn’t usually. There’s this glint in your eyes, like there’s flames burning inside them. That’s what draws everyone to you. When someone who usually doesn’t pay them any mind looks at them, well yeah, of course that’d make them happy. If they could get emotions other than anger out of you, that would make them even happier...but for those of us who can only make you mad, it’s the only thing we can do.”
“I’m not that big of a deal.” I said as I tried to quell my temper. Runa let out a hollow laugh.
“Too bad. I managed to set the fire, but it went out in no time.”
After saying this, she clapped as though realizing something.
“Oh, that’s right,” she continued. “I’m so silly. It was a mistake, trying to get her to shoot me. If I really wanted to get you mad, I should have had her turn the gun on her—”
“Runa,” I said in a tone so low it surprised me. “Finish that sentence, and I won’t let it go.”
“And what happens if you don’t let it go?” Runa said, challenging me.
She knew I wouldn’t try to kill her. Knew that in her current desperate state, where she actually wanted to be killed, I had nothing left that I could threaten her with.
I crouched down in front of Runa. Got down on her level, like I was dealing with a child.