Roughly half an hour later, I was comforting Toriko as she hugged her knees and looked depressed.
“Hey, listen, part of it is my own lack of experience.”
“Was I that awful...?”
“There, there... It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over it, all right?”
“Sorry... For blowing it like this after you finally said it was okay...”
“It’s fine, it’s fine. Uhh, y’know, there’s a first time for everything...”
I’m sure that Toriko was trying her best, but, well, that was thirty minutes that led to a whole lot of nothing. Okay, maybe that’s taking it too far. It was a stimulating experience, I’ll give it that.
For one thing, it was a fresh surprise for me, finding out that things could go this way. It was all completely different from how I’d imagined it.
First, Toriko took off my clothes, then stripped herself—at which point whatever little composure I had left went out the window, and as I lost my head it started before I knew what was happening, and then...
It kinda just hurts, and tickles...? I thought, and my head gradually cooled back down. Once I’d shifted gears, my excitement settled, and I think Toriko picked up on that too. Toriko had already been tense enough as it was, so she panicked and got sloppier, which only made it hurt more...
And that brings us back to where we were now.
I think that not being used to letting other people touch me was a big part of it. I couldn’t help but brace myself, and I got all tense. Even when it was Toriko doing the touching, that unfortunately didn’t change anything. The level of contact needed for this was way higher than holding hands, or kissing, and I hadn’t been ready to accept it yet.
That’s why, while Toriko did panic, and she wasn’t able to do it very well, that wasn’t all there was to it. If I were to divide the blame between us, I’d say it was something like 80-20, with the larger share belonging to me.
Not that telling her that would make her feel any better...
It was a shame disappointing Toriko, like I’d always suspected I would, but the experience was still a little bit entertaining to me.
Up until a little while ago, we had each desperately been trying to read the other’s next move, and had gotten even more desperate once things started, but now we were both lying in bed, bare naked, one depressed, the other consoling.
I’d never have seen this coming. Sex can really make this sort of awkward and silly thing happen...
Once the mood was gone, nudity was just nudity. I’d seen Toriko naked before at the hot springs, and a number of times after that when we went to the public bath. Even when she was depressed, she was still beautiful and radiant.
The way Toriko hung her head was so pathetically piteous that it made her all the more adorable. I wanted to give her a pat on the head, but the mere one meter between us felt so far away.
“So you messed up. Who cares?”
“But...”
“I don’t mind, and I’m not going to start hating you over it.”
“Yeah...”
I hesitated over whether I should say this next bit, but finally added, “Listen... I don’t know if this is any consolation, but it turns out I like cuddling with you.”
“Huh?!” Toriko raised her head, looking surprised. It was no lie. I may not have been aroused, but as we held each other, our skin touching, without any clothes between us, I realized I really liked it. Toriko was smooth, warm, and smelled good. I felt a sense of satisfaction just holding her.
“So, uh, even if we can’t do it, I’m fine with sleeping together like this. Is that not enough for today?”
After I fought off my embarrassment and made this suggestion, Toriko looked at me in disbelief. “Why do you gotta say something so cuuute...?” she moaned.
“Come again?”
Seeing the blank look on my face, Toriko sighed. “Augh, jeez... I’m the only one turned on here...”
“Y-Yeah?”
Fair enough. I wasn’t even remotely aroused.
Toriko’s this depressed, but she’s still all hot and bothered?
Averting her eyes as she noticed my bewilderment, Toriko seemed to get desperate. “Ahh... Maybe I should just do it by myself,” she murmured.
It was as if I’d been struck by lightning.
What? What’d she just say?
Maybe...she should just do it...by herself? Is that what she said?
Toriko says that kind of thing?
Toriko does that kind of thing???
That’s just so...ridiculously pretty, and unbelievably pervy!
That concept, that vision, tore through my brain with an impact like you wouldn’t believe.
I...
I wanna see it!!!!!!!
Unmasked desire exploded inside of me. The parts inside me that hadn’t come together quite right before now finally found where they belonged, and it was almost audible as they snapped into place.
This is it.
This is where my switch was.
Looking at the shock on my face, Toriko finally noticed that too. She could read me like a book; there was no way she wouldn’t have noticed.
Still, perhaps because of how I’d changed so much in an instant, Toriko seemed as bewildered as I was. She sat up straight, looking at me, then began touching herself a little, as if still half-doubting it, and struck a pose as if testing me.
That alone was enough to absolutely ruin me. I covered my mouth with both hands, unable to do anything but stare raptly at Toriko. Understanding and glee spread across Toriko’s face. She’d figured out my desire.
Until mere moments ago, our nakedness had been no more than that. Just another awkward state of undress, like when we got in the bath. Not anymore. My nudity, and Toriko’s, took on entirely new meaning. One little switch inside of me got flipped, and it caused a startlingly dramatic change in my perception. It was mystifying how, as that change occurred, it swallowed up the entire atmosphere of the scene, including Toriko.
Stuff like this can happen... I thought in a daze. The room was dominated by my lust which had suddenly materialized. As it overlapped with Toriko’s desire, the atmosphere inside the room became something kind of extraordinary.
“Oh, I get it,” Toriko said in a low, husky voice. “That’s what you’re into, Sorawo?”
“I... I dunno.”
“You don’t need to lie.”
“I dunno. I dunno.” I shook my head vigorously.
I don’t know what it means. I’m embarrassed. And scared. But I can’t take my eyes off Toriko.
Toriko moved slowly. Looking at me with upturned eyes, she sidled up to me on top of the bed, like a carnivore would her prey. I was terrified—not of Toriko, but of this unknown part of myself.
Scared or not, I could no longer run away. I didn’t even know if I wanted to.
At last, Toriko was in front of my eyes. As she stared down at me from a kneeling position, I stayed lying there, looking back up at her. She looked unbelievably pretty, and sexy.
“Toriko... What should I do? I can’t take my eye off you.”
“I’m glad.”
“No, that’s not what I mean... My right eye...!”
I’d always been scared to look at Toriko with it. My right eye drove people crazy. That’s why, all this time, whenever I looked at Toriko, I had made an effort not to focus my consciousness on her. I still hadn’t been able to resist the urge sometimes, but whenever it happened I hurriedly redirected my attention away from her. Yet now, I stared straight at Toriko, unable to look away.
Toriko held her left hand up in front of me. I saw her smile through her translucent hand.
“It’s a bit late to say that, isn’t it?”
“But...”
“I was scared to touch you too, Sorawo. Because I don’t know what’ll happen. Because I might hurt you. But I really did want to touch you. I wanted to feel every part of you. How would you answer me if I said that?”
“I-I don’t mind, really.”
It had been that way all along. Toriko was hesitant to touch me with her left hand, but I’d never been bothered by it. Toriko nodded, as if she’d known my answer before she asked.
“See? That’s why it’s okay. You can look. In fact... I want you to look at me. Properly.”
“I...might make you go crazy.”
“That’s okay.”
Toriko’s hand drew closer. It meant something different now than it had before. If Toriko touched me now, I’d be the one to go insane.
She snuggled up to me, so close our noses could touch, and with a voice full of heated passion, she whispered, “Let’s go crazy. Together.”
There was no way I could form a cogent response to that. The voice that escaped from my throat was like a scream.
And so, we went crazy.
Was it good or bad? We were already beyond assessments like that.