“Thank you all very much, now I understand. I dare say this all sounds like it will be quite useful!” Nanami said as she checked the time. Unfortunately for us, the battle would be starting soon.
“For the time being, let us first confirm our viewer demographics. Those orcs called this rating system ‘SEAI’. If we were only able to understand what exactly this system is…I am quite confident that ‘AI,’ at the very least, is short for artificial intelligence.”
So what, was SE short for “systems engineer”? Sound effects, maybe?
“Thinking won’t get us anywhere, so for now, let’s just give it a shot. You said we should try one-off gags or some special skill, right?”
Nanami nodded to me.
“Guess I’ll go first?” I said before locking eyes with everyone.
“I would like to go last, if possible,” Nanami began. “I wish to see how everyone performs, and experiment with what I predicate will work best.”
So Nanami would bring up the rear. Hmm, I felt like getting this over with as quick as possible was the best idea. This way, I got the sense that cutely sticking out my tongue and apologizing would be enough to cover any failure on my part.
“My turn, then,” I said, turning and walking over to the camera. From that moment—the livestream battle had begun.
The chat comments also appeared to be working too, with messages like excited; when’s dinner?; and damn, she’s fine, what a cutie lol scrolling by.
“I’m going to show off some healing magic for you!” I said before casting a healing spell. Hrmm, it didn’t seem to earn many points.
“Oopsie, guess I messed up.”
When I headed back, Nanami heaved a heavy, exaggerated sigh.
“Miss Yuika, that woeful display was unbearable. If you were an old man instead of a cute high school girl, you wouldn’t have scored any points at all. Can you take this a bit more seriously?”
“The high school girl factor rakes in a lot of points just on its own, huh?”
It did appear there were a lot of people in the chat praising me. That said, Nanami was being a little too harsh to older guys here, wasn’t she?
“Given how unacceptable that was, I will have to ask you do exactly as I say next time.”
“Wh-whoa hold on, why’s that?!”
Whatever Nanami wants? That was basically guaranteed to be absolutely awful. Nooooo thanks!
“Okay, okay, just calm down Yuika. Let me give it a try.”
“Please, Miss Yukine,” Nanami said, and Yukine picked up a metal pipe in the room and walked toward the camera.
…Uh, a metal pipe?
“Miss Yuika, look! Poor Master!”
At Nanami’s shout, I tucked the iron pipe into the back of my mind. Then I glanced at the monitor displaying our opponents’ side of things.
There I saw a glassy-eyed Ludie holding a red candle in her hands, letting it drip down onto Takioto. Each drop of wax did make Takioto thrash about, sure, but…
“How dare they manipulate Lady Ludie to do such a thing! Takioto looks like he’s in agony,” Claris said, wincing.
He did indeed have an agonized expression on his face, but I sort felt like some part of him seemed to be enjoying this. Also, while I know it was all because she was under someone else’s control right now, Ludie’s expression was getting more and more seductive.
“She’s breaking out the big guns right out of the gate…!”
As usual, I had no clue what Nanami was trying to say. Honestly, everything in that S&M playroom over there seemed like “big guns” to me.
“Huh, wait, they already have two hundred thousand points? And they’re still gaining even more?!”
I looked at how many points I had scored. Yup, just a measly three thousand.
I continued to watch Takioto get teased by Ludie, but Yukine had finished her preparations, so we started on our end.
“Tsukuyomi Magical Academy second year and Morals Committee Lieutenant, Yukine Mizumori, ready for battle,” she said before flying in front of the camera.
“Bravo! Wonderful! Bravo!” Nanami began showering Yukine with praise.
What the heck?
Why exactly was she praising her so much here? It made no sense. All Yukine had done did introduce herself.
“Miss Nanami, if I may be so bold, what exactly was so great about that?” Claris asked the exact question on my mind.
“A beautiful young girl should absolutely never announce where they go to school on a livestream, as it can encourage stalking and harassment. I imagine this will send our stream viewer numbers through the roof.”
Nanami did have a point; it was a real dangerous move. This was something that definitely shouldn’t be tried at home. Seriously, it was no joke.
Sure enough, the chat lit up with comments like, yikes; found the internet’s main character for today; and someone, anyone, teach her how the internet works.
“Miss Yukine truly is special. Even I couldn’t have done that, yet she gave out all that info without batting an eyelash. I am sure the AI will award her high points as well… Oh, time to quiet down. She’s starting.”
Our gazes all fell on Yukine.
“I’m going to perform a sleight of hand for you. Here in my hands, I have a normal, everyday metal pipe,” Yukine said, showing off the metal pipe. Then she smacked it lightly against the floor. “I’m going to turn this one pipe into two.”
She brought the metal pipe behind her back, gripped down on it with both hands, then twisted her hands like she was wringing out a wash…cloth…?
Wait, was she going to twist a metal pipe with her bare hands?! What sort of impossible spectacle was this?!
I watched in sheer astonishment as the metal pipe let out the sort of creaking and tearing noises that an object like it would never conceivably make.
Yukine had the pipe behind her during all of this, so all the camera picked up was the awful noise, without any hints to what was actually happening. I was watching a miracle in real time.
Then she showed the two halves of the twisted apart pipe to the camera.
“Now there are two. Thank you very much.”
She showed off two distinctly deformed, and much shorter, pipes. I caught a glimpse of one of the orcs over on Takioto’s side, and he seemed seriously disturbed by the feat.
This wasn’t really a sleight of hand, but more like a freakshow feat of strength, right? The chat comments were flying in.
Oh, Yukine’s performance received a tremendous number of points. Thirty thousand. Ten times what I had gotten us.
“That was wonderful, Miss Yukine. Good job.”
“Glad there happened to be a metal pipe that was easy to tear apart lying around.”
I don’t think I had ever heard someone describe a metal pipe as “easy to tear apart” in my life. This wasn’t mochi we were talking about, okay?!
“I’ll give it a try next.”
This time, Claris stepped forward.
She must have been nervous, this being her first livestream. Her eyes were darting left and right as she walked in front of the camera.
“Ah!”
Then she stepped on what I guess would be a piece of debris from the torn metal pipe and fell over.
The cameras caught Claris saying “Ah!” with her eyes going every which way, before she fell over while flashing what was underneath her skirt, then finally crawled away, utterly mortified.
“I apologize for my horrible failure!” Claris said, returning to us. But for Nanami…
“No, that was fantastic. Our highest yield yet. Thank you, Miss Claris!”
It was a roaring success. Claris received more than ten times the points I had. The chat was a flurry of joyful comments like I saw them! or White! They’re white!
“Now then, allow me to take the stage.”
With this, Nanami accentuated her breasts even more and raised her skirt up slightly. Then she picked up a carton of milk and stepped in front of the camera.
“Good day to all of our viewers. I am Nanami, angel and maid. I will now demonstrate my morning routine.”
Was she doing a skit here or something?
“N-no, please don’t! Master! I am but a delicate and tender maid.”
And the farce was underway. This was supposed to be her morning routine, right? Why was she already awake? I mean, her acting was great, but there was still plenty of weird aspects to the performance.
“Eek!”
She then poured the milk over herself and posed like a delicate young girl collapsed on the ground. From there, she looked into the camera with teary eyes.
“Sheesh, how could you let out so much all over me…?”
Now what in the world was she talking about, I wonder?
From there, Nanami opened her legs just wide enough to ever so slightly hide what was underneath her skirt and put both her hands up into peace signs.
“I admit defeat…!”
After doing all that, I’d say it was a mental health defeat, too. A defeat that came looooong before this little contest, that’s for sure. Her very existence was a defeat.
The chat was surprisingly quick to play along, commenting, I’m defeated, too!; utter defeat!; lol @ all these defeats; and more.
“Hey, Nanami! Morning routine, my ass! I’ve never done anything like that before, and you know it! Don’t lie about that stuff… Hraaaaaugh!”
“Silence! Who gave you permission to speak? Also, you’re livestock, so I want to hear you oink like it!”
“L-Ludie, please wait, it hurts, ow!”
“That’s Queen Ludie to you. What are you again?”
This time, Ludie whipped Takioto with loud cracks. It might’ve been better to end up in Ludie’s shoes here, honestly. She was being controlled anyway.