Being with him, talking with him, I could see no traces of Touka anywhere. What had happened to her to make him appear?
“When did you first come out?” I asked, one day.
“About five years ago. Miyashita’s parents were fighting, considering divorce. Her uncertain feelings at the time may have produced a stubborn creature like me. But I, myself, was far too busy fighting a killer that was stalking the streets to really pay much attention.”
I had a hunch which killer he was talking about. Five years ago, a serial killer had murdered five girls, and hung himself when it seemed they were about to catch him. It was a very well-known story, so it made sense for it to be incorporated into his delusion.
“Miyashita’s mother sounded like she knew about you…” I trailed off.
“Mm, she’s seen me a few times. We’re talking back in Junior High, after all. Miyashita Touka was not exactly free to move around. She even caught me climbing out the window once.”
“Must have been surprised.”
“She was hysterical, which caused me no end of trouble. She locked me in the house, so I had to knock the woman out to make my escape. Danger was approaching, after all.”
“Seriously?” No wonder her mother was freaked. It also explained why the Miyashita household didn’t let her have a phone in her room.
“After that, I suspect Miyashita Touka was dragged off to a psychologist, but I can only speculate. I never appeared.”
“She didn’t show any…unusual signs?”
Since the condition was almost unheard of in Japan, the doctor probably didn’t believe a word of it.
“Probably not. I imagine they had their doubts about the mother, though. After all, her parents were having marital problems at the time. But apparently, the whole fuss caused her father to blame himself and make amends. Things settled down after that.”
“Hmmm…” This reminded me of something from the book I’d read. Not a multiple personality case, but a manic-depressive girl. At school, she never spoke a word to anyone, but she was always bright and happy at home. Her parents and grandparents were apathetic and cold, and she desperately tried to brighten up the gloomy atmosphere. Unfortunately, the stress was too much for her, and its effects started to manifest externally. Her behavior grew stranger and stranger, until finally she was taken to a doctor and the truth came out. She was treated, her family repented, and the house became a much more peaceful place. This sort of “peace making” psychological disorder is apparently referred to as “the Trickster.”
For some reason, it sounded a lot like Boogiepop to me.
“So,” I said, and explained all this to him.
He made that strange expression again. “Miyashita Touka may well see it that way.”
“But you’re still here, even though that situation is over. Why? You never come out at home any more, right?”
“Right.”
“Then why?”
“I can’t explain it. I simply have my duty to fulfill.”
“You’ll just disappear when this ‘danger’ is over?”
“Yes. I will be a little sad to go this time, though. I won’t be able to see you again.”
This surprised me.
“You won’t…?”
“Right. Miyashita Touka will be here, of course. I imagine you prefer her.” His shoulders slumped a little.
I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I remained silent.
The two of us stared quietly up at the evening sky.
Boogiepop began to whistle. The tune was fast and bright, his breathing skillfully alternating fast and slow, but it was a whistle, so it sounded rather sad somehow.
I remembered that Touka couldn’t whistle.
(A suppressed possibility…?)
Even as her boyfriend, I suppose I was suppressing some part of her.
This thought weighed heavily on me.
He finished whistling, and I applauded. “You’re good. What song is that?”
“Overture to the first act of “Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg.”“
“Of what?”
“The most flamboyant piece the noisy, romantic, old composer known as Wagner ever wrote.”
“Classical? Hunh. Thought it was rock…”
“You’d have preferred “Atom Heart Mother”? I tend to like the old music,” he said, narrowing one eye.
All of our twilight ramblings passed in this fashion.
✦ ✦ ✦
5.
One day, Kamikishiro was gone. She just stopped coming to school.
I didn’t know much, but it seemed that she had run away.
“You’re kidding?” I said as I heard the news.
“Really! The teacher told us. She hasn’t come home,” one of the girls in class said calmly.
“Why? Why would she run away?”
“I don’t know. That girl hardly ever talked to us. I bet she thought her pretty face would let her get by in Tokyo or something,” the girl snorted.
The girls in class were much less expressive than Kamikishiro, who was always laughing and joking.
“B-but…she had good grades. She looked like she was ready to pass the entrance exam for the college that she wanted to go to, right?”
“You sure know a lot about her.”
“What, did you have a thing for her, Takeda-kun?”
“It’s not like that. Still…” I started to say.
The leader of the girls in class, Sasaki, said quietly, “I think I know how she felt. She just…wanted to escape.”
“Escape? From what?” I asked, surprised. Kamikishiro had two boyfriends, one a first year, in the other a second year. I wondered if she was escaping them.
But Sasaki meant something else. “You wouldn’t understand, Takeda-kun.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t have exams. How could you possibly understand the pressure?”
I had no defense against that argument.
“Right, you can’t understand.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
The other girls joined in, almost accusatory.
The other students weren’t watching us directly, but they weren’t not watching, either. They just sort of sat around us, flipping through their vocabulary flashcards.
“I’d run away if I could. But I can’t. We’re not as irresponsible as Kamikishiro,” Sasaki said very coldly.
Everyone nodded.
Not one of them appeared to be the least bit worried about her.
“…When you see a fellow human crying,” I heard Boogiepop’s voice whisper in my ear.
The teacher arrived. We stopped talking and went back to our seats.
I was barely able to sit through class.
The guy in front of me was studying something else. Everyone was only in class for their transcripts; all of them were certain that their test scores were far more important than learning itself. Even the teachers agreed, so they just lectured tediously, never calling on anyone, never asking if there were any questions.
Why the hell were we even here?
What had happened to Kamikishiro? Had her cheery exterior been a lie? There had been I thought it was, but I hadn’t expected her to be the sort of girl to just up and run away.
For those of you who know no tomorrow.
But even so, I was just like the people around me. I knew nothing.
I hadn’t even known that Touka was possessed by this Boogiepop guy.
I didn’t listen to the teacher for the rest of class, and I sure as hell didn’t take any notes. For all my complaints, I was even less serious about this than the people taking exams. Without any purpose, I just sat there stewing.