“I know that you were, in your own fashion, quite serious about me. But at the same time, I could see you. So I knew very well that, even if you loved me, you would never become happy.”
✦ ✦ ✦
His voice droned on and on, like some sort of machine.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Ahhhh. . .” Kotoe began shaking.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Your feelings are, sadly, nothing more than childish admira-tion, Kotoe-Chan. You will never be able to truly love anything.
✦ ✦ ✦
That’s the way you are. Half of your feelings for me were nothing more than pity. You were only able to convince yourself that this was love because you are still a child.”
✦ ✦ ✦
"Aaaah..."
✦ ✦ ✦
“And you will always be lonely. You will never understand why you seem to be incapable of being truly passionate about anything. . .which will be an eternal source of sorrow. That’s why I interested you. I appeared to be sad, and you wondered if I was the same as you-but that was a delusion.”
✦ ✦ ✦
"Aaaaaaaahhhh..."
✦ ✦ ✦
“I never really felt sadness. Only despair. I lacked a future, but had no feelings like yours. Whatever you wanted from me, I could have given you nothing.”
✦ ✦ ✦
"Aaaaaaahhhhh, aahhh..."
✦ ✦ ✦
From the moment he started talking, Kotoe had been bawl-ing. Her face was frozen and expressionless, but her tears were pouring down her cheeks.
✦ ✦ ✦
“There is no world where we can be together,” he said, and closed his mouth at last.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Ah, aaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh.
✦ ✦ ✦
Kotoe shook so hard she almost fell over, and had to grab onto the man for support.
✦ ✦ ✦
"H. . . . . .he. . . . . .help. . . . . ." her expression shattered, and she struggled to say something through her tears. ". . . . . .Help.
✦ ✦ ✦
help me. . .help me, Jin-niisan. . . . . .help me!”
✦ ✦ ✦
A name she should not have been able to say escaped her lips.
✦ ✦ ✦
Like a lost child who has at last found its parents, she clung to the man-to her beloved Asukai Jin.
✦ ✦ ✦
“...If I only could,” he said, in the same quiet voice. “I’ve been hoping I could for a long time now. If only I could help you. . .but I can’t. I still have no idea what to do for you. I know that you should not be with me. Regardless of what you felt that night you spoke to me, when I was waiting for snow alone outside.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Only this last line showed any trace of warmth.
✦ ✦ ✦
Kotoe was well beyond her stress limits, and was unable to stop her consciousness from fading away. “Jin. . .nii. . .sa. . .n...."
✦ ✦ ✦
The world in front of her darkened. From the darkness, she heard a voice, unchanged from a moment before, ask, “Where is Spooky E?”
✦ ✦ ✦
Kotoe might have said something in reply. But she was no longer capable of knowing what.
✦ ✦ ✦
For a second, she felt as if she were being embraced, but it may just have been her imagination.
✦ ✦ ✦
“I’m sorry. Goodbye,” came a voice from so far away that it may well have been in the next world. It was the last time she ever heard it......
✦ ✦ ✦
“We’ve figured out most of it by now.”
✦ ✦ ✦
The gunfire incident concluded in a rather odd manner, since almost everyone involved had received an electric shock, and was unable to remember anything about it. The forensics team believed that one of the bullets had struck a power line, which in turn had sent a current running through the ditch water left standing in the alley. The area was a mess, and they were unable to find any further evidence.
✦ ✦ ✦
There were a few witnesses, but all of them just said stuff like, “I didn’t see anyone else come out of there.” So they were forced to conclude that the scuffle had ended in this extremely unusual fashion.
✦ ✦ ✦
The reason for the scuffle was lost in a sea of confusion, but at least a few of the people lying there were known drug dealers, which made things simple. The punks, skinheads, and indie musicians lying around them remembered being asked by the girl to look for something. The police in turn concluded that she had been the leader, and had been investigating ties to a possible drug syndicate. As fiirther evidence, a strange outfit often described by recently arrested drug dealers was found lying at the scene.
✦ ✦ ✦
“The only thing left is motive, which we heard as well. Your cousin cooperated with us once before. He was involved in a case where one of your friends died. He told us you were unable to let that situation rest.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“Really?”
✦ ✦ ✦
“Yep. It was pretty bad. She was so far into withdrawal, the pain led her to stab herself in the throat. I know just how you feel.”
✦ ✦ ✦
“My friend...” she said absently, lying still in her hospital bed.
✦ ✦ ✦
She was a little out of it.
✦ ✦ ✦
The police were not surprised. “You’ve done a few things we could probably charge you for, but really, why? Mitigating circumstances are good enough for me. The people who helped you will get off with a suspended sentence as well, I think. After all, you have managed to completely destroy a drug operation.”
✦ ✦ ✦
".........."
✦ ✦ ✦
“I’m gonna let you take it easy and start recovering from shock now,” the policeman said kindly.
✦ ✦ ✦
All she could do was thank him, in a voice without emotion.
✦ ✦ ✦
Trying not to puke from the lingering effects of the stun gun my sister had zapped me with, I boarded a bus and headed straight for Orihata’s apartment building.
✦ ✦ ✦
(Urp......)
✦ ✦ ✦
The more you try to suppress the urge, the more attention you attract. I barely managed to look normal.
✦ ✦ ✦
I had lost the Boogiepop outfit Orihata had made me.
✦ ✦ ✦
That felt strange.
✦ ✦ ✦
I felt like that had been the link between us, and without it, I couldn’t settle down.
✦ ✦ ✦
But I could no longer rely on it. Either way, Kinukawa Kotoe had been taken into custody, and there was no way for me to ask her where Orihata was.
✦ ✦ ✦
I got off the bus, and walked the route to Orihata’s apartment, which I had followed countless times before (to which I always turned back at the entrance).
✦ ✦ ✦
I was a little worried that someone would stop me, but no one ever did, and I was soon standing outside the door to her apartment.
✦ ✦ ✦
I rang the bell, my heart pounding.
✦ ✦ ✦
There was no answer...
✦ ✦ ✦
I rang it again.
✦ ✦ ✦
Still nothing...
✦ ✦ ✦
I gritted my teeth, pulled out the key, and unlocked the door.
✦ ✦ ✦
Now that I thought about it, Orihata had never once actually come over to my home, and this was my first time ever entering hers. Yeah, all things considered, we had had a rather strange relationship.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Hello?” I whispered, stepping in.
✦ ✦ ✦
My feet stopped almost instantly.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Uh....?!"
✦ ✦ ✦
The room was empty.
✦ ✦ ✦
There wasn’t a trace of anyone living here.
✦ ✦ ✦
“W-wait a minute...” I said, flustered.
✦ ✦ ✦
This was absurd. I had dropped her off here almost every day, and the key was the right key, so. . .feeling myself beginning to panic, I looked around the apartment again, and found a sleeping bag lying in the corner of the empty living room.
✦ ✦ ✦
I gulped.
✦ ✦ ✦
I crept over to it, and picked it up by the comer.
✦ ✦ ✦
I sniffed-I know, kinda creepy-and it smelled like her hair did whenever she leaned in close to powder my face in makeup.
✦ ✦ ✦
(Orihata......slept here?)
✦ ✦ ✦
I dropped the sleeping bag and peered around the room.
✦ ✦ ✦
Her Shinyo Academy uniform was hanging on the wall.
✦ ✦ ✦
I opened the closet, and found the rest of her clothes. I’d seen everything in there. It was all of the clothes she’d ever worn on our dates.
✦ ✦ ✦
And that was it...
✦ ✦ ✦
Nothing casual, nothing for around the house. No sweatshirts, no jerseys, no pajamas. Nothing.
✦ ✦ ✦
"..............."
✦ ✦ ✦
Hesitantly, I opened what I assumed was her underwear drawer.
✦ ✦ ✦
Only one type, and they were all lined up. It was as if she’d bought them on sale somewhere.
✦ ✦ ✦
"..............."
✦ ✦ ✦
I glanced back towards her clothes.
✦ ✦ ✦
I had seen all of them. . .but one set was missing.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Where are the clothes she was wearing the last time I saw her. . .?” I said with an uneasy feeling gnawing at my gut.
✦ ✦ ✦
I went into the kitchen. The stove looked barely even used, so I looked in her garbage. It was filled with empty convenience store bento. I flipped through each of them.
✦ ✦ ✦
No recent dates...
✦ ✦ ✦
The most recent one was the day before I last saw her.
✦ ✦ ✦
"........." I felt suddenly dizzy, and fell over on the floor.
✦ ✦ ✦
(What does this mean......?)
✦ ✦ ✦
Where was Orihata?
✦ ✦ ✦
I felt like I was overlooking something important.
✦ ✦ ✦
But what?
✦ ✦ ✦
What was I forgetting?
✦ ✦ ✦
(What’s going on?)
✦ ✦ ✦
Spooky E was furiously dialing one number after another, his always pasty features even paler, trying to contact the ‘terminals’
✦ ✦ ✦
he’d brainwashed.
✦ ✦ ✦
But not one of them would respond. Every phone was turned off.
✦ ✦ ✦
(Shit! How can this happen?)
✦ ✦ ✦
Blood spurted out of the wound where his right ear had been.
✦ ✦ ✦
His teeth chattered away.
✦ ✦ ✦
His hair had gone from simply graying to completely gray.
✦ ✦ ✦
Fear.
✦ ✦ ✦
It was the one thing tormenting him now.
✦ ✦ ✦
If his terminals did not respond, then his power over them had been lifted.