“Oh, Mr. Suou. Nice to see you again so soon.”
“…Yes.”
We grew more familiar, and during quiet hours at the café, we would make small talk, but my impression of her remained the same.
“Which is why they’re saying that it’s crucial to start building ties with those developing countries in that region.”
“Oh, really?”
“…Do you even understand what I’m saying?”
“Hmm… I understand that it’s all very difficult?”
She was slow-witted, lacking in knowledge and refinement. Yet she never stopped smiling and listening earnestly to my stories—dull as they must have been to her. She was always polite and kind to everyone and never spoke ill of others or complained.
“That’s love.”
“Kimishima… What are you talking about? That makes absolutely no sense.”
“Oh, come on. You find yourself going to that café to see her whenever you have free time, right? And before you realize it, you’re following her with your eyes. That’s love.”
Love. I never thought I was capable of such an emotion. And yet…I strangely felt as though I could build a warm, loving home with her. I was sure that, unlike my parents or myself, she would shower her family with kindness and affection.
“Hmm… Kimishima, teach me how to court a woman.”
“What…? What?! Uh… Oh! Well, uh… Hmm… Why not buy her a gift? Something women like. And…how about flowers? Traditionally, when men ask women out, they dress up in a snappy suit and hand them a bouquet of dark red roses… At least I think they do.”
“Hmm… I see.”
Following my friend’s advice, I bought every gift I could think of: jewelry, bags, hats, wallets—the sort of things my former arranged marriage candidates had adored. Truthfully, I couldn’t picture her enjoying any of them, but I had no idea what else to get, so I got everything I could carry. I also made sure to get a large bouquet of red roses. Nevertheless, it turned out to be more than I could manage alone, so I eventually had to ask my friend to help me carry everything.
“Come on, you bought way too much! This is, like, a year’s worth of gifts!”
After that, I led my grumbling friend—who had paper bags in both hands—to the usual café, then presented the bouquet of roses to the wide-eyed waitress and said:
“Marry me.”
“…What? Whaaat?!?!”
“Wh-what?!”
Both she and my friend were utterly stunned, and the café owner berated me, demanding that I take it outside because the smell of roses was making his eyes water. Yet somehow, my ridiculously unconventional proposal worked, and we became engaged.
She didn’t seem to know much about my family, and when I finally invited her over, astonishment struck her once more. Furthermore, when I began to explain who the Suou family was, she looked at if steam were about to come out of both ears.
“U-uh… Do I really belong here? I… I don’t know how to talk to important people, and I don’t know much about manners, either, much less anything about foreign people or their cultures…”
She looked visibly dazed, as if the weight of it all had finally hit her, so I assured her in a fluster:
“You don’t need to worry about that. All I ask from you is to build a warm, loving family.”
“What…? That’s all I need to do?”
“That’s all you need to do.”
“…Then I think I’ll be okay, because I love kids!”
Seeing her radiant smile convinced me that I had made the right choice. Whether as my fiancée, my wife, and eventually as a mother to my children, she never changed. She always wore that luminous smile, listened with genuine interest to my dull stories, and was a woman who was happier with a simple flower than a lavish gift.
“It looks like we’re out of vases!”
“Hmm…”
She rubbed her large belly and smiled in a troubled manner in the hospital room.
“…I apologize, but I don’t know any other way.”
I didn’t know how to make women happy, so I always got her a bouquet of flowers that I thought she would like.
“Making women happy is easy. All you have to do is look them in the eye and tell them you love them!” She laughed.
“That’s…”
I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Words like “I love you” or “I like you” felt too precious to be casually spoken by someone who lacked a heart. Simply uttering the words would forever taint them, and so I never did.
“Oh, you’re so silly… Ah, I know!” she said, as though she had just had an idea, while I lowered my head and frowned.
“How about from now on, whenever you want to express your love or gratitude to me, you go to the florist and get just a single flower—the most beautiful one you see that day?”
“…Only a single flower? Are you sure?”
“Of course. In addition…,” she continued, gently rubbing her large stomach and her young son sleeping by her side.
“…Please give our children heartfelt presents on their birthdays every year. And when the day comes where they speak of their dreams to you, I want you to give them your full support.”
“…! That’s…”
Perhaps it was only natural for a parent to completely support their children’s dreams, but it was never something that I could promise so easily as the head of the Suou family. What if both our children chose paths other than diplomacy? Who then would succeed me? Who then would carry on the Suou name? Burdened by those thoughts, I simply couldn’t give her a straightforward answer. Yet in the midst of my hesitation…
“And if necessary, I promise to work hard until I can bear you a child who wants to become a diplomat,” she casually exclaimed, as if the solution really was that simple.
“Hm?! V-very well. I—I can do that.”
“It’s a promise, then.”
“…Yes, it’s a promise.”
“Hooray! Then there’s nothing to worry about. I will raise these two with all the love in my heart.” She smiled, gently rubbing our son’s head and the unborn child still resting in her womb.
“So you just focus on what you need to do, because I love you for exactly who you are.”
Those words, that smile—they stayed with me, etched into my soul, even then.
“Dad! Mom is…!”
Once again, I was told of a tragedy involving my family over the phone. If I had immediately left for Japan, then perhaps I might have made it in time. I might have been able to hold my wife’s hand in the hospital room and pull her back. However…
“So you just focus on what you need to do, because I love you for exactly who you are.”
“Pull yourself together, Gensei! Nothing good will come from you losing your nerve! What you must do now is fulfill your duty as a Suou!”
The words of my wife and father echoed in my mind. Furthermore, I had an important conference related to Japan’s national defense scheduled for the next day as well.
“…!”
I agonized over the decision for a few seconds—a long few seconds—and then…
“…Take care of your mother. I’ll be there as soon as the conference is over.”