Meanwhile, the talk of the party—Alisa and Masachika—were on a bus, heading toward the Suou residence. They sat side by side in a double seat, exchanging no words, yet Alisa’s right hand was clutching Masachika’s left as if she was trying to hold something intangible together.
“…”
She stole a glance at Masachika, and though his profile revealed nothing, his distant gaze suggested he was deep in thought, confronting his inner self.
I probably shouldn’t bother him right now.
He no longer seemed consumed by regret, and if that were the case, then it was probably best to let him be. After all, Alisa’s earlier words had barely landed well, since eloquence had never been her strength. In other words, if Masachika didn’t need to be consoled right that moment, her silence would probably serve him better.
Once she reached that conclusion, Alisa turned toward the window and surrendered to her thoughts. With the storm finally dying down, only one matter demanded her attention. Put simply…
What do you mean, she’s your biological sister?!
That. Now that she had regained her composure, Alisa’s mind was plagued by this one question. Memories of past interactions with Yuki surfaced one after another, playing back in her head like a reel on loop.
Then what was that all about?!
One memory stood out most vividly: Yuki confronting her in the empty classroom at nightfall.
“I told you that I love him, so you have to tell me exactly how you feel, too!”
Overwhelmed by Yuki’s intensity, Alisa had boldly declared that she wouldn’t give her Masachika. It was a retort born from rivalry—a reaction to Yuki being his childhood friend and his student council partner back in middle school. And she’d feared that without that decisive declaration, Yuki would take him away from her. However…
She’s his sister?! His sister?! What? That means I told his little sister I’m not going to let her have him? Like some crazy stalker? No… Noooooo!!
Alisa wanted to writhe and bury her face in both hands, and she was doing everything she could to keep a straight face… Then she imagined Maria’s crush—Sah, or whatever his name was—suddenly storming over to her and shouting, “I won’t let you have Masha! She’s mine!”
There was no mistaking it. He would sound completely unhinged. It would be plain weird, and it would have made her tell her sister to really reconsider who she dates. And yet, the person who’d behaved that way was none other than Alisa herself.
Ngh…!! Aaaggghhh…!!
“Alya?”
“…!”
Startled by Masachika’s voice, Alisa quickly turned to face him, only to find him studying her with mild bewilderment.
“Is something wrong?”
“Oh, uh… No. Nothing…”
“You sure?”
“Positive,” she assured him. Then she immediately turned away from him. And so Masachika, perhaps sensing her reluctance to pursue the topic further, said nothing more and looked the other way.
Alisa let out a quiet sigh of relief as she watched his reflection in the window.
Thank goodness he left it at that… I should probably put it out of my mind for now. I mean, it’s only going to get worse the more I think about it…
With that, she decided to put her thoughts on hold, since there was just a bit too much to process at the moment.
And I’m holding his hand, so he’ll be able to tell if I get nervous…
That was when it suddenly hit her.
I—I’m holding hands with Masachika?!
A jolt shot through Alisa like a lightning strike. Holding hands in itself wasn’t that big of a deal. She had even held his hand a few times before, but this time was different. After all, she knew she had feelings for him now, and holding hands with someone you had feelings for was completely different from holding hands with a friend! And to make matters worse…
Wait. Calm down and think for a second…
She had taken his hand at the park bench, but they had let go once they arrived at the bus stop, only to clasp hands again the instant they got on the bus… Yes, there was no denying it.
It was me?! I held his hand?!
Of course, she had no ulterior motive, and she definitely hadn’t used this opportunity to sneakily hold his hand, either. She was simply making sure he didn’t run off. That was it.
Y-yeah, I just wanted to help him find his way…like he did for me… That’s all this is!
But still…Alisa had been the one to initiate it with the boy she liked, and it wasn’t exactly subtle, either. She had essentially grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bus. It was as if…
I’m acting like some sort of alpha female wannabe!
Alisa inwardly buried her face in her hands and let out a silent, frustrated roar. In her opinion, normal girls didn’t reach out to hold hands with the boy they liked. Even if they mustered up all their courage, they still would not be so forward. Instead, they would offer their hand timidly and hope the boy would take it. She thought that was what ordinary girls should do.
But nonchalantly taking a boy’s hand? That was something only some promiscuous hussy would do! Only aggressive, flirty girls went after their crushes like that!
Modesty! A lady must have modesty and self-discipline!
Alisa writhed on the inside, feeling her sense of propriety being scraped away bit by bit. Hmm? She had done much bolder things before? No, that was simply teasing her smug, aggravating male friend so she could gain the upper hand. She hadn’t been trying to seduce him in the least… She definitely wasn’t trying to seduce him now, either, of course!
“S-seduce”? How scandalous! That is absolutely not something that a proper lady would do!
She truly felt that way…and yet…why did it make her heart race? She imagined herself tempting Masachika and seeing him, usually so composed, lose his cool and desire her desperately. It stirred something from her stomach up to her heart…causing her to almost immediately scold herself.
You idiot! What are you daydreaming about?! And at a time like this?! Masachika is about to face his estranged family! He’s fighting his inner demons! So stop daydreaming, stupid, love-crazed brain!
When she glanced to the side, she noticed that Masachika’s expression held a subtle hint of melancholy. It was clear that he wasn’t in any state of mind to be worrying over who held whose hand first or why.
See? Masachika doesn’t have time to worry about stupid stuff like this!
…Okay, calling it “stupid” is kind of harsh, don’t you think?
After criticizing her own opinion, she found herself somewhat annoyed. She knew he had bigger things to worry about, but as a girl in love, the fact that he seemed completely oblivious left her both irritated and a little anxious.
He could at least be a little embarrassed or nervous. What? Is holding hands not even special to him? A little hand holding doesn’t make his heart race? I can’t stop thinking about it, yet…
Driven by the swirling mix of frustration and anxiety, Alisa ended up gently squeezing his hand, causing Masachika to blink two or three times in surprise before turning to face her.
“…? Alya?”
“Oh, uh…” His expression was filled with curiosity as he gazed into her eyes. Alisa hesitated, scrambling for something to say, and then blurted out the first plausible thing that came to mind. “It’s all going to work out.”
“…Yeah. Thanks.”
Though her reassurance was baseless and merely on-the-spot improvisation, Masachika smiled faintly, thanked her, and turned to face forward once again, still not showing even a hint of embarrassment or nervousness.
…Hmph.
Frustration and anxiety swelled inside Alisa. She couldn’t let it go—not unless he noticed her, even just a little. But how? Flashing her chest or clinging to his arm like before was obviously out of the question. Too overt. And besides, they weren’t exactly alone. Whatever she was going to do, it had to be subtle, casual, and—most importantly—seem free of any deeper meaning.
What can I even do…?
Caught up in her thoughts, Alisa suddenly remembered their joined hands. They were loosely clasped on the seat between them, her hand resting on top of his…and the observation made her realize just how cramped the space really was.
That’s it…!
A sudden idea came to her. Right as the bus rounded a curve, she exaggerated her shift in weight, pretending to be thrown off balance by the centrifugal force. Sliding both legs to the side, she casually let their joined hands slip beneath her, gently pinning them under her thighs.
“Ah! Sorry.”
“Hmm? Oh.”
While briefly apologizing, she watched Masachika’s face closely, just to make sure he hadn’t noticed anything strange. Then, once the bus began to straighten out, she casually—ever so casually—lifted their joined hands under the guise that she didn’t want to crush them again. Obviously, there was no other reason why she would lift their hands, since she had absolutely no ulterior motive… Then she placed their hands on top of her thigh.
Eep!
The cool back of his hand rested firmly on Alisa’s thigh, sending a faint shiver down her spine. But she maintained her composure, looking casually out the window while observing his reflection in the glass.
How do ya like that?!
Masachika’s expression hadn’t changed a bit. He was still staring straight ahead, completely oblivious to his left hand resting on Alisa’s thigh.
“…”
Alisa’s spirits instantly deflated before being replaced by an indescribable wave of embarrassment.
What am I even doing? she wondered. Seriously, what is all this about? Am I stupid…? Actually, that shouldn’t even be a question. I’m an idiot. What am I doing? He’s obviously not even thinking about me right now… This is ridiculous…